| THE BEST EVER SONGS PLANET MORON HAS EVER HEARD EVER |
| The time is nigh. PLANET MORON is coming to its end, and we, as its conceivers, feel we should be the ones to put it to sleep. However, PLANET MORON is not going to go through the lovely, ephemeral sleep that we have. It's going for that long sleep that dead people entertain. As you probably know, authoritative music reviews have been at the heart of Woodsey and Paul's comic cyberspacial empire. We love our opinions, and you love them too. You want The Truth. Which is why you're reading this. Woodsey and Paul have compiled PLANET MORON's music review funeral. Imagine PLANET MORON as a person - perhaps a cuddly, yet slightly sinister uncle - hurtling his way down a conveyor belt towards his ash ridden demise. What songs would we like played in order to drown out PLANET MORON's horrendous screams as we find out that he's still alive whilst burning? To answer this, Woodsey and Paul have made a Top 5 of songs from all the music PLANET MORON has covered. What follows is The Truth. But two different interpretations of it, obviously. Enjoy. |
| PAUL |
| 5. LOWGOLD - Counterfeit Sweet, lovely melodic indie rock. Probably about chicks or something. 4. JIMMY EAT WORLD - Salt, Sweat, Sugar Originally called 'Bleed American', some oversensitive hippies changed the title post-9/11. The song still has teeth to bite their bearded, bonged-out faces off, though. 3. MERCURY REV - The Dark Is Rising Chicks again. Will they ever stop screwing guys up? 2. FEEDER - Just The Way I'm Feeling Bless. Not about chicks, but about things which can be taken seriously. 1. AT THE DRIVE-IN - Invalid Litter Dept. It's six minutes long, but my MTV addled mind switched off two and a half minutes in. What I heard was pretty good. |
| WOODSEY |
| 5. AT THE DRIVE-IN - Invalid Litter Dept. See Paul's number one. It's as if I'm saying "Yeah, it's alright, but it's only my number five." 4. WHITE STRIPES - Fell In Love With A Girl Electricity in every direction. Skillage! 3. BADLY DRAWN BOY - All Possibilities He's good, isn't he? I NEED ASSURANCE THAT IT'S NOT JUST ME WHO LIKES HIM. 2. RAZORLIGHT - Stumble And Fall John Peel rates Teenage Kicks as his favourite short, sharp punky record. This is mine. 1. BLUR - Good Song Self-fulfilling title. Soft, African rhythms. Best song ever, ever, ever featured on PLANET MORON. Paul's a ("chump" - Ed). |
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| "They had been defected and excommunicated/And all the pulses were subverted/And they made sure the obituaries showed pictures of smoke stacks" |
| "TV's dead and there ain't no war in my head/And you seem very beautiful to me" |