| IT'S TIME FOR.... A CHILDREN'S STORY |
| Once upon a time, there was a rabbit named Burt. He was a very handsome rabbit, and, my my, did all the women love his fluffy tail, his floppy ears and frankly enourmous fifth leg. Burt loved nothing better than to drive around the field at night, crawling the curbs, and picking up lovely ladies to come back to his borrow and "clean out his pipes". At such a lovely gesture, one clearly representing domestic duty, all the rabbits leapt into his car and indeedy, after much groaning and moaning, his pipes were indeed the cleanest in the borrow. During the day, Burt sold small packets of sherburt to little rabbits outside the school at break time, lunchtime and after school. Indeed, the sherburt was so nice and the children came up to him again and again, begging for more of his sweets and complaining, oddly, that the way he told them to consume the sherburt made their noses burn and ruined their mother's mirrors and five pound notes. One night, instead of driving around looking for cleaners, Burt popped into a local bar where we saw the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. The voiceover introduced her as Jenny The Cat, and she took to the stage and began dancing. It was a strange dance, as there was a pole in the way she kept on bumping into, and she must've agreed to Burt's view that the bar was indeed warm because she did not wear many clothes. Burt adored the sight of her tail, her little ears and all her fur as she continually began wrestling with the pole that was getting in the way for her dance. Burt fell in love at first sight, and after her little dance, went backstage to see if she would go and help him clean. He knocked on the door and waited. The door opened, and there Jenny stood, in all her furry glory. "Hi", said Burt. "Can i ("trucking" - Ed) help you?" Burt raised an eyebrow, and noticed there was some stuff like the sherburt he sold around her nose. What a small world! he thought, innocently. "Yes", he said. "I was wondering if you'd like to come round my burrow so you can clean my place?" He winked slyly, and looked up and down her innocent fur. He wanted her to clean his pipes there and then! He wanted to hold her romantically and, as he put it, place his ("rock" - Ed) up her ("runt" - ed). He wanted to consume sherburt with her and do all the things he used to do with his sister when they were alone in the house and no one was watching! Oh, those beautiful times! And, indeed, Jenny did get round to cleaning Burt's pipes. It was the best cleaning he'd ever experienced, he told her later, then asked her to marry her. Jenny grinned as she injected her pick-me-up medicine, and said: "("Muck" - Ed) you, you absolute ("grit" - Ed)." She then paused, and said, "Oh, go on then, I've got nothing better to do with my life". Jubilant, they got married. Unfortunatly, due to problems involving perfectly innocent misunderstandings as Burt fell into other women's burrows, they got divorced three weeks later. Burt was later found with a hole in his head by the police on a street corner - he had peacefully died away after someone demanded him to "suck on this". Or something. Life is GRAND!!!!!! |