It's occurred to me that the only modern act among this new crop is No Doubt - which seems to contain all their singles, one CD, nice one lads (and Gwen) - maybe this is a record company ploy, releasing all the 'oldie' bestofs nearer the big Christmas event, hoping to intice impulse buys from kids looking to purchase something that will "shut mum up". The whole point of this entire essay on the Sound Board to begin with was to have a closer look at the phenomena of bestofs, but as I move along cynicism creeps in and threatens to turn this initial enterprise into an attack on fatcat record companies. Hey-ho, another essay in the pipeline, then.
Hey look, it's Simon and Garfunkel! Hi Simon! Hi Garfunkel! Aren't you pleased that you can never break free of your initial partnership shackles because your label won't stop releasing posthumous collections? (The typeface, by the way, is the same as that Bruce Springsteen album. See? See? No artist involvement there whatsoever.) The album itself is good, but a recent survey revealed that the average British household contains 16 Simon and Garfunkel Greatest Hits albums. So, that's dad's Christmas present sorted then, but he might also like a listen to the Moody Blues. Bit of a strange one, this - the 'bonus' CD turns out to be an entirely new album (a 'Christmas' one at that, full of 'exciting' cover versions, bleccch), so fans who already have the Blues' best material have to buy an entirely new bestof to get at it. What? Who the heck wants this mutant 'bonus' CD? What's the point? This is beginning to do my head in...
(Speaking of cover versions and faintly relevant are two other compilations I haven't included here, Bon Jovi and Status Quo. Not technically bestofs, these comprise of an artist 'covering' their own work (not remixes) in new and different forms. You heard. Not having heard the Bon Jovi This Left Feels Right release, I can't give any true critical analysis, but at least I get to keep my soul. On the other hand, Status Quo Riffs is more of a covers collection (boasting a version of Elvis Costello Pump It Up where the lyrics are actually audible), but still they insist on tinkering about with their OWN previous work. This is not a good idea.)
My mind is beginning to physically weep (medically unsound) at the sheer amount of artists whose integrity has been compromised by ill-fitting, ill-timed bestof releases, just to scrape the Christmas dollar. 23 compilations, maybe more, and that's just this year alone. I really don't want to go on with this, but I feel I have to. And now I have to write about Michael Jackson so I may just vomit on your tight vinyl dancing tap-shoes. Going under the title of NUMBER ONES (funny, Jackson's career usually comprises of number twos), we, unsurprisingly, get an album of NUMBER ONES even if the last two tracks were never NUMBER ONES, but fans (glerk) of Wacko would be advised to stick to his previous compilation, going with the unwieldy title of HIStory and not go for NUMBER ONES, the NUMBER ONES collection. Apparently his ranch has been raided by the authorities over new child sex allegations. Oh, to be a fan.
So, are there any new conclusions to be garnered after this frank reassessment?
Yes.
RECORD COMPANIES ARE ALL MONEY-GRABBING BASTARDS WHO MUST BE DISBANDED, REPLACED WITH PEOPLE WHO LIKE MUSIC AND HOPEFULLY SALVAGED FROM THE LUCRE-LADEN STINK DITCHES THEY HAVE MIRED THEMSELVES IN.
This from an unbiased mind. I thank you for your time. |
