| THE NIGHT THEY RAIDED CORBIS |
| Look, it's not our fault you keep seeing the same photos over and over again. It's Corbis.com! All their fault! For people who haven't used PageBuilder before, Corbis.com holds the copyright over pictures you might want to put on your page, e.g. that Carly Rivorrerer one. However, there's a finite amount of pictures, so you'll probably notice some duplicates. We will continue to take them out of context by adding captions such as "Well, that's the end of that boat!", or "Blasted bikes!", so rest is assured. To get some more photos, we decided to organise a heist. We dispatched our SINISTER AGENTS OF FORTUNE to the Corbis Headquarters to see what deviousness lies within. And to get us some wine gums on the way back. But until now, their story has remained secret (libel cases, lawsuits, you know the deal). So, for the first time, we present Agent 45, Agent 34 and 'Tim' in... THE NIGHT THEY RAIDED CORBIS! |
| (SCENE: A DARK CANALPATH AT MIDNIGHT. THREE STRANGERS COME ONSCREEN FROM THE LEFT. A CLOSE-UP ON THE FIRST FIGURE'S HAND SHOWS SOME KEYS BEING FUMBLED WITH. CLEARLY KNOWING WHAT HE'S DOING, HE THROWS THEM HIGH INTO THE CANAL.) AGENT 34: Oh, great. Now how are we supposed to get home? AGENT 45: Oh, were they the car keys? Sorry. I thought they were the keys to a safe from a previous adventure... 'TIM': Is he always like this? AGENT 34: No, sometimes he's sleeping. But his heart's in the right place. I should know, I oversaw his operation. AGENT 45: Did you really? AGENT 34: Of course I did. I am your wife, after all. AGENT 45: WHAT AN INCREDIBLY CONTRIVED WAY TO REVEAL A PLOT POINT. AGENT 34: And stop shouting. AGENT 45: Sorry. 'TIM': So, any ideas on how to get into the Corbis building? AGENT 34: We haven't even got there yet. 'TIM': Oh, right. (THEY EACH TAKE THREE MORE STEPS FORWARD.) AGENT 34: Here we are. 'TIM': Right. So, any ideas on how to get into the Corbis building? AGENT 45: You can ask your question again now, 'Tim'. (THERE IS A CONFUSED PAUSE. BOTH AGENT 34 AND 'TIM' GLARE ANGRILY AT AGENT 45. AGENT 34 BEATS HIM LIGHTLY WITH A NEARBY CARDBOARD BOX.) AGENT 45: Ow! OW! AGENT 34: Don't pretend it hurts! 'TIM': Hey, you guys! Over here! (THE THREE AGENTS MOVE TOWARDS THE ALLEY BEHIND THE CORBIS BUILDING WHERE THERE IS AN OPEN WINDOW APPROXIMATELY TEN FEET ABOVE THE GROUND.) 'TIM': Look! There is an open window approximately ten feet above the ground! AGENT 34: I know that, you idiot! I read the parenthesis, you idiot! Why must I be surrounded by idiots? (SUDDENLY A CROWD OF IDIOTS RUSH UP AND SURROUND AGENT 34. THERE IS A CONFUSED PAUSE, THEN THEY SLIP SILENTLY INTO THE NIGHT AGAIN.) AGENT 34: What the hell was that? CONTINUED ON PAGE 2 |