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| MY RUMP INSURANCE |
| "We cover everything. Sometimes we even surprise ourselves!" |
| "Hello!" |
| "Over here, now." |
| A warm welcome from me, Aloysius Humphries. And for those of you who don't know how Aloysius is spelt, it rhymes with 'auspicious'. And now you know. Look, frankly I've got better things to do with my time than tell you how my name is pronounced! Ooop, calm down, calm down, I promised mother... (swallows pills from an unmarked jar). Despite the fact that I look like an early twentieth-century paperboy (and that there are in fact two of me) I am a pretty bodacious, bitchin' insurance agent. Oh, I'd sell my granny for a deal, and have done on two separate occasions (1994, and then 1997). But don't take my word for it, just listen to these happy customers or clients, I forget what I'm supposed to be in this comedy article (looks up page) oh yes, insurance agent, so I'd guess they'd be clients. (sighs, swallows more pills) |
| "I really can't recommend MY RUMP enough. MY RUMP has helped me through some pretty sour times, I can't even begin to tell you." Zac Juw, Pid "I was in some pretty tough times but MY RUMP always got me through. It's nice to have MY RUMP to fall back on." Gap Huy, Kif "As far as I'm concerned, MY RUMP has always been there, and MY RUMP will continue to be there. I'd recommend anyone with insurance problems to take a look in MY RUMP." Fis Mab, Cho "I LOVE MY RUMP!" Hur Jus, Fad "Go into MY RUMP. And then kiss my arse." Jug Fat, Yun And let's stop it there before the joke wears too thin. Look you get the right idea, we're boss and ain't no-one gonna change that. I love insurance, but I hate myself, honest. (blows himself away with 12-bore) Credits begin to roll as everyone looks uncomfortably around the room. "I guess that's why they call it 'black comedy'" says an unknown. |