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| BUY ONE OF PRODUCTS. |
| HELLO, POTENTIAL CUSTOMER YOU, yes, YOU have been chosen to be given the opportunity to buy one of our fantastic(!!!!!!!!!!!!!) products! Isn't life easy, POTENTIAL CUSTOMER? No, life is never easy. That is why here at GROOVESDOWN COMPLEX, we are forever (no, not literally(!!!!!!!!!)) slaving to think of efficient, time-saving devices, mate. Oh, they are inexpensive but never cheap. On offer to you, POTENTIAL CUSTOMER, is this amazing mystery product, full of mystery for your hard life. Just hear what other customers said: |
| TO: P. CUSTOMER PLANET MORON NO FIXED ADDRESS |
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| GROOVESDOWN COMPLEX |
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| Ms. T. P. Jip, Bombay "I've got one, and it's excitingly frank." |
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| Mrs. P. L. Gob, Perth "As soon as I got mine, I opened it, and was slapped for upwards of five minutes." |
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| BOOK |
| OF |
| DEATH |
| Ms. X. Q. Glip, Northants "I often wondered what it was... even after I got the thing!" |
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| WOW |
| COOL |
| Ms. A. S. Ass, Bombay "I've lost my husband and children in an unusual accident. But the product is good." |
| S |
| C |
| U |
| M |
| DIE |
| YIKES |
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| ? |
| BUT WHAT COULD IT BE? |
| AIEE |
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| Mrs. A. S. Led, Berkshire "Ahh! Milk!" |
| But wonder no more, POTENTIAL CUSTOMER, you can also be the proud owner of our mystery gift! Order now, and we'll send you a free spice rack! So, big boy, why not get a big pen and scribble off a big order form to us. Why not? Do you WANT to make our children cry? Make cheques of �432.99 to: GROOVESDOWN COMPLEX MYSTERIOUS PRODUCT ORDER 13 ASLED LANE BERKSHIRE Do not be surprised if you do not receive your order. We do not have a 100% strike rate with these things. Don't expect to see your money again, neither. (makes silly face) So, so long, POTENTIAL CUSTOMER, until we meet again, in town, city or space. Who knows what the wind of fate will bring upon this sheltered rock? Yours sincerely, GROOVESDOWN COMPLEX |
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