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| A STORY... TO READ |
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| "Hello, everyone! Me name's Judy... oops, me corset!" |
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| "I'll just fly off to the shops to buy meself a new one! Whizzo!" |
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| Meanwhile, Judy's slightly camp husband Tom was angry. And standing in an awkward position. |
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| "Ooh, I'm right angry. Not only do I look like General George Custer, but Judy didn't ask me if I wanted anything from the shops before taking off. Ooh, my life!" |
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| "I'll take my old Ford and see if I can catch her. Ooh, my life!" Tom always says 'Ooh, my life'. |
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| And so an exciting race to the shops ensued. "It's a bit like 'It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World' this, isn't it?" Er... no. |
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| Tom finds himself driving through a forest. "Ooh, my leafy life!" |
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| "Oh, now I'm lost! I'd better... um, I'd better... (thinks) Ooh, my life!" |
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| Judy was having problems, too. "Me bloody joystick's gone! I'm gonna crash!" |
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| "Bailed out just in time! Phew!" Boing! "Oops, me corset!" |
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| Meanwhile, Tom had crashed into a tree trunk and totalled his car. "I say! What can I do now... I know! I'll rent another car, somehow. Ooh, my auto life!" |
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| "Ooer! I could only get this truck. Still. Ooh, my life!" |
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| By a strange twist of fate, Judy had also hired a truck to complete her journey. "I like me trucks." she said for no particular reason. |
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| Another strange twist of fate later, and they met up. "Me husband!" "Ooh, my wife!" |
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| They decide to go to the shops together. "Aw, heck, maybe there'll be a happy ending after all." "Shut up, git." |
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| They reach the shops. "Now, I really need some Ladyshave." "Shut up, Tom." Judy leaves to get a corset. |
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| Judy tries on a corset with instant results. "Wow, this feels great! Now I won't get taunted in the street by me youngsters!" |
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| "Will this cover the cost of me corset?" "One coin? Do try again, madam." |
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| "What about this? Two coins in me hand." "Please leave the shop, madam." |
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| "Come on, Tom. I know when I'm not wanted." "Shan't." says Tom "Ooh, my life." |
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| "Fine! I'll leave you here then. And I'm filing for a divorce!" screamed an odd looking Judy. |
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| And she did. Both. So Tom was wrong! There was no happy ending. What do you have to say to that, Tom? "Ooh, my life!" THE END |