Meatwad:

"He told me to get in the freezer cause there was a carnival in there. There wasn't no carnival! It was a damn freezer! I got freezer burn and I got bunched up against that chicken."

"You don't need a machine to make a rainbow, for rainbows are made of happy thoughts, and dreams, and chocolate unicorns, and gumdrops, and licorice sunsets, and fuzzy gumdrop bears, in sugar-covered chocolate gumdrop land."

"And when you need something that's a responsibility, that only only an adult...on maturity...bunnies!"

"Listen to me Randy, it doesn't matter if you're white, or black, or a sasquatch even. As long as you follow your dreams, no matter how crazy or against the law it is. Except for Sasquatch, if you're a Sasquatch the rules are different."

"Everybody hates me 'cause they die or get hurt."

"Spirits that haunt this house......tell me...... What was we talkin' 'bout?"

"Ya'll suck. I wish Superman was here. I'd say "Hey Superman. You mow the lawn while you're here?" And he'd be like "Yeah, I'm Superman. I know how to work the mower."

"He said that the hobbit, that turns the crank case is depressed, and needs therapy. We need to get us a new hobbit. They's from the land beyond time, land beyond time's also gonna hook us up with a unicorn for the radiator, I aint even gonna tell you bout that haunted air condition. Then that air filter, that's made of plutonium, that's gonna require superman, so, you know, plus shipping from krypton. Then the cow, Jumped over the moon... " Meatwad reading his car repair estimate.

"So the lesson here is: either you should definitely not play with matches, or you definitely should."

"What did your doctor say?" "He says I have cancer." "Well did you...did you tell him that you don't?" "Meatwad, I'm afraid it doesn't work that way." Meatwad talking with Frylock

Master Shake:

"The Highlander was a documentary, and its events happened in real time."

"Someone stole my PDA, and I will ruin this house with my anger!"

"I hate to be a buzz kill, but he said that your house is on elf graves and they're pissed off."

"You can't have birth without death. It's the duplicitous edge which we all walk upon."

"That is a future bag. I say that with all confidence."

"Friends, relations, whatever the hell Meatwad is: I've lived a full life. It's actually been pretty bitchin'. But now, regrettably, my life has been taken. Please bury me with all my stuff because you know it's mine. Dearest Meatwad, turn on that dumb game because I'm gonna wail on you from the grave, baby! Ha ha ha! Suck it up, mutha! Missing you already, M.S."

"Bling blong, baby! It represents my lifestyle and status as a street-savvy irreverant youth who lives large, yet hungers for the next level in life." Master Shake

"See this chain? I'm rich, bitch!

"What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal!"

"The only reason God doesn't erase you from the face of the Earth is because you amuse him somehow"

"Congratulate yourself my friend...you have just been laid."

Carl:

"Ohhohh sweet, sweet nectar. Its like my pool is tearin' ass around the backyard. But its stayin still. Still waters run deep!"

"Hey, I'm sorry, Candy. I guess we're not in America. I guess now, I'm not allowed to pay for sex with pennies!"

"I don't know if I believe in God, but...I think he hates me...Because he allowed you to create a dog that constantly rapes me!"

Alienz, Robots, Creatures, Oh My:

"Some would say that the Earth is our moon...But that would belittle the name of our moon, which is: The Moon."

"Do you see how my mind works? It's like a laser!" Oglethorpe

" Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that." Ol Drippy

"Fry-man, we're full of religion now. Everyone, please, bow your heads and pretend to be serious." Ignignokt

"The innocent shall suffer...big time." I

"We're here to steal your pornography and sodomize our vast imaginations." I

"Look my shneegys, I had a strizzoke in my brizzane ok? You know what I'm sayin? So I can't move all good. Thanks for bringing that up, thank you very much!" MC Pee Pants

"Now in the future, the past has occurred." Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future

"We have no need to read. Behold! The mohawk of eternity!" Oglethorpe

"It is the Broodwich. Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in Hell's half-acre. Baked by Beezlebub. Slathered with mayonnaise from the evil eggs of dark chicken forces beaten into sauce by the hands of a one-eyed madman. Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a fanged cow. And layered with 666 separate meats from an animal, which has maggots for blood." "I tasted mustard." "Yeah. Dijon Mustard."

"Do you know who Goblox is?! I will tell you who Goblox is. In the year 9595, a race of deformed turkey was genetically developed by chicken scientists as revenge against his bird brother. These turkeys would exit the womb doused in gravy; gravy filled with the giblets…from a monkey. The French craved it, and, as a result, turkey became the only food source for France, which is now called RoboFrance 29. I was later killed by the chickens! So, of course, you can see why I'm angry at those chickens. " Turkatron

"And that's why I was sent here to erase his mind..and my mind as well. I had to be reformulated by rogue chicken scientists for the rebellion. They crafted my sleek, turkey body which allowed for safe passage through the time rift. So, in summation: the bird comes with me…dead or alive. " T

"Enjoy those tacos now, for in a thousand years they will be illegal! Ha ha ha ha-I think we all know why... Anti-taco-legislation-disestablishmenterianism" T

"Oh, is this your story now? Did this happen to you and not to me?! Well listen up everybody he's about to tell us all his amazing story! The one that happened to me and not him." T

"When I say your dumb name, please stand up briefly, but then quickly drop to your knees and forsake all others before me."

"Prepare for a pride-obliterating bitch slap!" I

"Err, stop fueling my silent rage." I

"Time? Time is an illusion. The only time is party time, are we clear?" I

"Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls, however, are enormous." I

"Burn it to the ground so others may not have it either." I

"I told you dudes! We needed the machine! How many times did I say that?" "Zero. You said it none times."