The Dude:

"She's not my special lady, she's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive."

"Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber."

"New shit has come to light!"

"There is an unspoken message here. It's 'fuck you, leave me the fuck alone!'"

"I! The Royal "we"! You know, the editorial..."

Walter:

"You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude...Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon- with nail polish. These fucking amateurs..."

"Shomer-fucking-shabbos."

"That rug really tied the room together."

"The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please."

"Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's an ethos."

"So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know... "

"Shut the fuck up, Donny."

"You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism once. Not in 'Nam of course."

Jesus:

"Nobody fucks with the Jesus."

On Smoky:

"And you know he's got emotional problems, man." "You mean, beyond pacifism?"