who wants to be a millionaire

Lookin' back on it, it seemed so easy
A trip to wonderland for the young and lazy
The cash's not in, I'm on the run eternally
The cops are after me, I've nowhere to flee
Why not give a shot, be on at eight thirty
The phone, though worn it is, and the broken TV
They both seem to chant in slow motion faintly
"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Come over here and grab your share!"

The call went through, I'M ON THE TELLY!
Take a deep breath, and count to thirty
Now I'm on that stage, I don't feel so wonky
Jalalludin, the Man, he's smiling at ME!
Rows upon rows of gleaming Darlie teeth
They've got my senses hyped up completely
Flash past my eyes, I've gone all witty
I take my seat, and ponder grimly
I know I'm the star, man I look so stoogy
My nigger cap's on, I feel like Billy
The Hilly all tounge tied and sleazy
My tie's not straight, the heat's real killin'
As I gape there, my jaw hangs freely
"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Come over here and grab your share!"

The first question's on, the heat's got to me
I'm not ready yet, my bones are chilly
My palms are floodin', they feel so sweaty
"Seratus ringgit", he intones so slowly
I've lost my senses, my brain's all woozy
I've gotta phone Mom, I need my Digi!
But hell, even DJuice was down and sorry
I gotta get through, yeah, I got...Yuzry?
His swearing sends me back to reality
He doesn't have a clue, at least says sorry
But I need answers, not damn apologies
And it all happened here ON NATIONAL TV!!!
"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Come over here and grab your share!"

The audience are fools, they're crude old donkeys
They don't even know where's Syria or Turkey
They think it's a kinda meat from the Yankees
Yankee Doodle, here I come, I'm gonna crash land slowly...
I have no choice, my sniper's all ready
I've gotta shoot, I need the bulls eye quickly
How far can I shoot, chances are I missed
I check his face, I shudder slightly
"Jawapan Muktamad"'s not for the faint hearted laddy
As I shiver in my seat and stare intently
He slowly chants, "Jawapan...selepas ini..."
"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Come over here and grab your share!"

It's all over now, I freaked out completely
A hundred at stake, and I got nothin'
Not even a hand shake, there goes fame and glory
I think I've gotta swear off fantasy
No more Survivor, Lotto or that dratted 4D
But Destiny's Child, they keep reminding me
Of what I'd have been if I'd gone lucky
"Don't Turn The Dial", I have no mercy
I grab the plug, and let the radio cry silently
They say the truth is stranger than stories
As I drop my beer, go switch off the telly
I take a last peek, groan oh so loudly
"Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Come over here and grab your share!"

Penned by Nick