the elusive melvyn

Part One

Lee : When did you first know him?
LKS : Form One.
SL : After mid-year exam.
LXY : After mid year exam.
CJB : '96 Form 1 (I don't know what the heck does this mean. Probably 1996 to Form 1. Yeah, don't ask me)
Lee : When did you get to really know him?
LKS : After perlantikan pengawas.
CJB : I don't remember (It's so far back)
SL : I don't actually know him until we got in the same choir group.
Lee : When was that?
SL : Form 2
LKS : Yeah....
Lee : Any first impression(s)?
SL : <coughs a lot>
LKS : Quiet!
CJB : Toh Soi Kah ??? Well.......
LXY : <some chinese letters I didn't care to tranSLate>
Lee : Besides that, nothing? (Huh? They didn't say anything at all)
CJB : Your subject of interview not interesting (Next- Leeky Martin. If you are wondering who he is, check out the Post-Awards Gala)
LKS : K.ty lan hua (I'm typing as I see it)
Lee : Give me 5 things that (bad) about Melvyn Ho.
LXY : Pig. (Probably means that as an insult)
LKS : No, pink colour. ( Huh? )
Lee : Besides that?
LKS : Soi ka?
LXY : Hardworking, liang chai.
Chau : Small penis?
CJB : No idea.
LKS : No comment.
Lee : You will. (??? Will what?)
Chau : I need two leg to ass with. (Huh?)
Lee : Why is it all negative, no postiive?
LXY : What about love?
Lee : It's <I can't read this word>
Then someone yelled CUT!!!!!
Lee : Can you explain TSK?
LKS : He has leadership
Nicholas : Do you love Melvyn?
All : NO!!!!!!
Lee : Give me 5 reasons why not.
LXY : <pause> Toh soi soi ka.
(all clap in unison)
End of confusing Part One

Start Even more confusing part 2.
Lee : Halo, halo
(quiet)
Lee : Can we start now?
SL : Yah sure.
Lee : How did you meet Melvyn? (I remember I met him next to the window)
LKS : Form One!!!
SL : Aft mid-year exam.
CJB : How ah.........
LKS : Ceh, perlantikan pengawas
SL : After tha na No.2....have a seat.
Lee : Can meh?
SL : Of course.
Lee : <sits>
CJB : He remember but I don't. He told me but I didn't care to listen. (Tell what, listen to who!!!!!)
Lee : Name 5 positive. Ai yo, yi ke, yi ke zhou thiau liau wo zhen niang wen? (Ai yo, one by one they go away how I ask?)
LKS : Give me some time.
CJB : Give me a lifetime.
LKS : Cannot negative one meh?....Got leadership.
SL : Hardworking..........some work he never do!!!
Aaron : <suddenly> Stapler?
SL : No. Joanna got.
Lee : Halo, halo.
SL : <looks at paper> I prefer Nick!
Lee : Nick hen whui ziang hwa. (Nick likes to talk)
LKS : <Sorry, we let LKS see the paper and she cencored this sentence>
Lee : You only give me one only. Serius.
SL : He's 1/4 kindhearted.
Lee : Explain?
SL : You say positivekan? Well he is not so kindbah. Just a BIT.
LKS : Very pemalu. (Oh yeah)
Lee : Kira positivekah?
SL : He taLKS a lot....huh? Okay cancel it.
Lee : Hey you haven't give me one.
SL : He is zero percent good looking. It it positive?
Lee : ????
SL : Yah. I didn't say he's ugly. It's a positive word.
Lee : I don't thing we need negative already.
LKS : He has an admirer!
<Due to CJB's request, a short excerpt of the chat will be removed. Normally we don't entertain such requests but since Meblvyn is our friend, we've decided to let him off the hook.....for now>
Lee : Temper?
LKS : He bad temper. When he's fired he'll cry. He is 100% bad guy when angry. (Isn't everybody......)

End of part two
Start final part

Lee : How meet Melvyn (I'm getting tired of this.)
LXY : Wah. Wo mei yu ziang zhi de lo. Like thatloh. Natural.
Lee : 5 positive.
LXY : Hardworking, kindhearted, good looking, leadershinlah, clever. (wow, finally, someone who knows Melvyn!!)
Lee : He hates you so you all hate him back? (Melvyn : I did?)
SL : Not neccessarily.
Lee : Your explanation of hate?
LKS : Not that muchmah.
Lee : You have said the least, CJB. (She is reading a book I think)
Lee : Give me 5 negative.
SL : You want some suggestions? I have a lot.
CJB : I can't think of one <cencored word>
P/S According to CJB, he knows Melvyn longer than Lee yet has nothing (much) to say about him. Protection of a friend or something even more insidious? You be the judge.
CJB & SL : No comment.
SL : No no no, bad temper, irritating, annoying.....
Lee : only two.
SL : Small minded. When he do maths and he count out the numbers, he's very irritating.
Lee : Explain bad temper. (.....hmm........ROAR!!!!!)
LXY : Tha ziang de ma, wo na ni zhe. ( She say one mah, I mana tahu)
LXY : Scold people without reason.
LKS : Mean.
Lee : LKS, 2 negative.
LKS : Same as SL. Siau chi. (bad tempered)
Lee : Explain.
LKS : When you ask (him) about future, he gets angry.
Lee : CJB, 2 negative.
CJB : You don't have any otner questions except this. (Uh, we didn't even prepare. Cut us some SLack.)
Lee : First impression?
SL : Coughs a lot.
LKS : <quiet>
CJB : Well........
LXY : Kind hearted.
<a lot of cussing erupts>

End of Final Part.

Editors view : Arugably the single most complicated and confusing, not to mention prolix interview we've conducted. Heck, I didn't even remember how it ended. Maybe the teacher crashed the already wrecked party. Well, enjoy. Next subject, Leeky Martin. (Check Post-Show for more)