4 Anggerik Class Diary

 Eleventh Entry for the Twenty Minth of March, 2002. Normal day, this.
 Penned by: VERY Nick
 Today is Thursday, in case you're wondering.

The first ten minutes of the day were probably the most productive of them all. In the said ten minutes, I transformed from corpse into uniform-clad human walking against his will into a gate that is unrelated through blood or marriage with me whatsoever. Bet no one's interested anyway, so I shall just knuckle to whatever discerning public this site still has left.

Before school. Now that is stuff to change one's life. For once the debate team actually understood my speech patterns. Well, of course, when you're scheming to escape a universally hated language class, unity is not to be sacrificed. To make a molehill out of a mountain, Arthur, Charlaine, Celestine "Huh?", Jasyln and I (or me, depending on which grammar tome you subscribe to) were arguing on the most effective way to play truant AND bring glory to the school at the same time.

Physics was another 1 1/2-hour exploration of how far my own ignorance lied. In a nutshell, we were enlightened on why pens in straight lines hit ground at the same time as pens in quadratic curves, and don't believe the terminology I use.

And no, Moral did not throw up a paradigm shift or anything remotely close to a change, and without fail, she started pretending to mark papers. BM followed, and to be a prize arse on the spot, she actually managed to keep the class silent for once.

Rehat came and...I wish it had gone. Still, Kumar's Kuetiao and Fishcake and the intricacies of ironing things out with the Bio teacher on the reasons a school debate team had to exist thoroughly convinced me of the importance of slipping away to the library and the debate team.

What follows is merely my less than biased interpretation of what happened to a minority 8% of the class while the remaining 92% were taken down a few pegs by The Sim. With 8% translating into Celestine, Jaslyn, Lee (Pey Hwo) and the guy with the honour of writing this fable, things were bound to take a few turns that weren't in the script. (Lousy pun, that.)

Apparently Arthur (Wong, 5A, hereafter referred to as "Arthur") and Elaine (Michelle Majon, 5B, hereafter referred to as "Elaine", but why do I get the feeling something is redundant here?) had decided to pull a fast one on us, leaving the narrating one (P.S. I abhor the use of the personal pronoun for want of looking too egoistic) on his own. (FYI Isaac (Vun, 4B, hereafter not referred to anyway) skipped school halfway through thanks to some gastric disorder. In debate teams, they call it butterflies in your stomach.)

That was so cool. Anyway, with the girl team (Charlaine, Celestine, Jaslyn) unanimously deciding to move farther and farther away from my prying ears with every moment, it was a major leap of faith for me to have plopped my butt in the hot seat anyway.

Arthur and Elaine turned up without fail at the exact moment where it is biologically and chemically impossible to prepare a debate speech. With luck, punctuality and a missing book of quotes all conspiring against the narrator, we took the stand devoid of our humanity.

Thanks to the fine art of task delegation and responsibility shirking, I ended up as 1st speaker, and as usual, a riches to rags story was created. I bombed, I bombed perfectly, it was an exquisite rendering of the songsang-ness of the graph of Murphy's Law ("If anything can go wrong, it will" plus inferences) versus speaker order. The opposition's Wan Azizah sans headgear was a perfect example of why I'm not making the team and she, the juvenile PMR candidate, is.

Arthur managed to lose himself on Highway 3x²+1, while Celestine decided that wearing Arthur 'n the narrator down with everything in the New Straits Times was a debate methodology. With our Chinese-bashing Elaine, third speaker impressario, on the skyline, things were on the upswing...until I underestimated the power of the word "no".

Elaine just had that mystical subversive power strung into that two-letter word. And so the unthinkable (not until then, that is) happened - the narrator acquired another chance to make a complete fool out of himself, one that would leave an ass proud at being a donkey.

I...just...threw historical precedent out of the window (wait, no, the windows were locked, scratch that metaphor) and started creating sound waves. To be honest, I had no idea whether I was speaking coherent English or not, or whether I was speaking English at all. The only thing I distinctly remember was the amazing spectacle of the opposition NOT paying any attention whatsoever. As a sexist pig, for the girl bloc, that was a success. It probably meant they didn't understand enough to actually warrant paying attention.

Sat back in my seat, noticed Lee was playing flowerpot again. (FYI "flowerpot" is defined as someone who, in his insistent attempts NOT to talk, ends up talking more than all six debaters.) One of his less holier-than-thou days it seemed as evidenced by the quote he uncovered in Oxford Book Of Quotations that bordered on the flesh.

Jaslyn decided to repay incoherence with more incoherence, and Celestine and Arthur, in that particular order, decided they were best qualified to officially waste another 4 minutes on the reply speech. A proliferation of the words "Nicholas", "flaws" and "rebuttal" was sensed, but it's not that hard to get my point across eh?

And of course, Teacher, in all his benevolence, had to top it all with the news that the sides would be switched come Monday. Talk about deadlines. We have a whole mental deadline to step over before we actually start on the chronological nitty-gritty. With that, considerin g I'm not even supposed to be desecrating Reign/Ariff's holy ground, I rest my case.

 Tenth Entry for the Twenty Sixth of March, 2002. Normal day, this.
 Penned by: NOT Ariff
 Today is Wednesday, in case you're wondering.

Let's just write a Rumusan today, and yeah, I registered a BM result worth insulting athiests about. Reign, you picked up 50 marks, you eloquent little fool, and Ariff, you didn't fail, so stop laughing hysterically. Lee Swee Chee actually screwed me. Sanjit Singh son of Encik Singh actually screwed me too. Am I going to mention Dexter, or am I not? Okay, whatever subject started the day, it was utterly isi-less, coz my photographic memory seems to have lost the negatives for that particular period. Not even what it was called. I'll get back to that later...when I find out what the third period was. Holy pigeon. Okay, it's all rushing back to me now in 100-m sprints without the starting gun. Moral was fanatically pathetic, more shut up and dance than actual work. Okay, now I get it, no wonder I purged it all, Mr Sim conducted an armed coup on Bala. 4 periods of Maths Tambahan, and I still shake my head in amazement at how we managed to maintain a mortality rate of zero. I'm amazed by the fact I actually remember it was Add Maths. For Chairman Mao's sake (suddenly recalled the 1st Commandment of not invoking God's name in vain, oops, there I go again) it's a wonder I actually found it fit writing. Well, yeah, Rehat was the usual case of Madam Tussaud's exhibits (FYI she makes wax figurines of people, which is what springs to mind when you see the amount of people practising inertia outside 4A), no, Chan remained incognito, so our 16 moral values remained intact. English was, was, nevermind. Bio was a classic textbook example of plagiarism in Malaysian schools. Take a sheaf of 4B project work, run it through the photocopy machine, and you have a whole lesson plan for the guerillas of 4A. The teacher's probably patented the art of taking breaks, judging by the insolent amount of mini-breaks she seems to take in class, but of course the nation is facing chronic teacher shortages, and treason is a capital offence. Today's teachers are receiving paychecks to either scorn or be scorned, but then no one asked (courtesy of Chan^TM).

P.S. And ouch, BM papers were handed back on Thursday, which only goes to prove the lengths I will stoop to attract undue attention.

 Nineth Entry for the Twenty Fifth of March, 2002. Normal day, this.
 Penned by: NOT Ariff
 Today is Monday, in case you're wondering.

 Ah, Tuesday, the second worst day after Monday. But strangely, the "back 4" (Me, Aaron, Singh, Gan) were early, all four of us were actually there before the dang bell. That was the only irregurality i noticed that day, so correct me if you notice something else.
 As the normal Tuesdays go, this is my first day of the week in school (i skipped Monday, what do you expect?). Chemistry was on first, with Mrs "Ioin" (don't get it? never mind) giving a test where we are supposed to write down the...ah, nevermind, just know she gave a test. Like you want to know. After the papers were collected, they were handed out randomly to be ticked. Aaron got his own, lucky bastard.
 Right after that another test was on for Mathematics. Still, wasn't that hard, but i forgot quite a number of things about sets, so...you know (i finished them, shut up). It lasted for a period long, and after we were done she thought us something about graphs or something. But as usual, i can't remember much when i am unconscious, so no details. Haha.
 Then came English. Another group discussion thingy and we were supposed to give five reasons we support it or don't support it. There were 5 titles given, namely "Is the woman's place in the kitchen?", "Is money the root of all evil?" (i know it isn't, i've already seen the real thing. Enquiries, ask Lee Pey Hwo), "Should sex education be compulsary in schools?", "Should science subjects be thought in English (or something like that), and "Should examinations be compulsary (or something like that. Again, my brain fails me).
 We didn't have time to spread them (is it? i'm sorry, i translated it right from BM. Haha) as 4 Ahye's are hideously slow in the reasoning department (sorry guys). Soon came recess, i went and kacau Joanna, made jokes...too much jokes actually. God help me, i'm doing this to the wrong girl...but it was fun, so what the hell. Most of the 4 Ahye's preferred to stay in the class, most probably due to the snow flakes there. Then Fat Joe (Mr Sim) came in, Fat Joe came out (meaning: nothing big or important during add maths).
 Argh, History, the accursed life stories of people i don't intend to know. She read out notes but soon i had no idea where she was as she had this strange way of speaking where you hardly understand the words coming from her mouth. Winged it, slept, copied Aaron's notes, slept some more (i'm sorry, that IS my life).
 BM. Not much to say except we went to the library. Quite unlucky for me though, as The Seranta members, which is me, Gan and Dawan had to carry some HUGE, and i mean HUGE HUGE, like, HUGE...damnit, you get the point. Carried it all the way to the hall (damn, five f***ing stories!!!), then went up again for BM. Hmmm, let me remember...yeah, get some new words, that's what we were supposed to do. But due to the fatigue from carrying the speakers i had to rest and so i didn't do a crap(erm, actually if i wasn't fatigued, i wouldn't do it either. But what the hell, a reasons a reason).
Bell rang, yey, jumped from the fifth floor, grabbed the flag pole on my way down, did my victory strip and ended up burning my groin sliding down it (just kidding. I just like to write it down).  Hmmm, everybody were unusually quick in packing their bags today and everybody was gone in 60 seconds...(ceh!!!). Erm, not much, that's all i remember. Come on, nobody's perfect. To err is human, and ignorance makes you err even more...haha. Yeah, thought for the day, should racists be discriminated? Think about it...

 Eighth Entry for the Twenty Second of March, 2002. Usual day, this.
 Penned by: NOT Ariff
 Today is Friday, in case you're wondering.

 Huh...thank god it's Friday. Finally, able to sit back and relax for the weekends after 5 days of ass-kicking (wait, i only came for 3 days, ah, nevermind...). Anyway, let's get back to the point of this diary thingy. Friday as we know kicks off with our Ms Whats-her-name-again entering the Anggerik shithole to give us our dose of mathematics (to those who don't, i forgive your ignorance). The Setara test papers were handed back and thankfully i passed. Not with flying colours though as the only colour i shall see in my report card is the number XX written flatly in red.
 She then proceeded by asking us to take out the piece of paper which she handed to us somedays ago to finish, and i was basically going "paper? what paper?". It seems i wasn't the only guy who doesn't have it as Gan, Aaron and Singh (Sanjit, duh) shared my blurness. Went to ask it from the teacher and after a little talk, she decided to hand the problem over to the person who handed it out, Mr Thong. The kind man he was, asked if anybody had an extra paper. Found one, gave it to Gan and after a little enquiring was unable to get another one, and so borrowed us his paper for Aaron and me to share.
 Some thanks here, some sorries there, got the paper, went back to my place. Browsing through it, i was surprised to find it was more like an insult to our intelligence. The questions were of lower form standard and was practically too easy, i can finish it with both my eyes closed. Ok, one eye closed actually because if they were both closed i can't see the freaking thing. The teacher then said some stuff i can't remember and suddenly she was talking about how her baby was donated to science...ok, sorry, i meant her baby was sick and was taken through like a million tests and treatments due to some illness. Was it her baby? I can't remember but that was what Aaron told me. If i got it wrong, please correct me.
 The bell rang, the teacher shuffled her feet out and then came an announcement by Thong to go to the Chemistry lab. People were moving at such an unusually slow rate and Nourhazwan (i'll start calling him Dawan after this), the discipline CM yelled at us to move our asses. He then made an imitation of the teacher which was replied by chuckles and it was then i realised i wasn't the only one who likes to make fun of her...haha.
 Ok, enough with the insults. The class then proceeded to the Chem lab and as usual i took my favourite place, the end table. After grabbing someone's chair (sorry) and another someone's chair (sorry, again) for Aldrin, i placed my butt on one of them and waited for my partner to come. The prick didn't show up and so after an unsuccessful attempt to make Khor stay at the back, i had to move to his group as i can't do the experiment on my own.
 We were supposed to burn some copper or something, i cant remember but then Nick, as usual, messed around and ended up turning the test tube (is it called so? sorry can't remember again) black instead of the copper. After a little fumbling around with the bunsen thingy he was able to make a more stable fire. Did some more burning, added some stuff here and there, some tube with water connected to it, blowing and sucking by Nick and the water turned grey. Supposed to be by Carbon Dioxide, i think. Next, we were to put the experiment down on paper but me, Khor, Nick and Lee ended up having some chat about JRR Tolkien and Michael Jackson.
 Nick said all Michael ever did was crap and i retorted by saying he didn't make crap but a humongous piece of shit that, strangely didn't stink and is liked by people all around the world. Soon, chem was over and as usual the daily toileterians reunion party during recess. Somehow most of the members weren't that interested to shed off some pounds today and so the class was nearly full during recess except some people namely me, Gan and some people, about 10 i think.
 Groans, Agama and Moral. I favoured neither eventhough i only took Agama. Went there, yak yak yak, Islam good...earth good...people good...and we were back to the class. Dang, history. The class was nearly as long as the life span of Khalifah Umar. Got our test paper back, i passed (yey!!!) and slept...haha. Em, i can't remember much when i am unconscious but i do recall her giving out the answers for the test. The bell, came, yey, grabbed a pole, did my victory strip...ok, just kidding. As usual went off home, some bitches still loitering around the class chatting but as the man who loves bliss, i ignored them and went off not giving a damn. Ay, Khor, if i forgot some stuff, write them down, kay?

Reign Speek!
 Finally, I can rest my laurels. Heh heh, so perasaan. Anyway, Ariff, you did a stupendous job with today's entry and I've promoted you to Resident contributor. Hmmm, why am I the only one clapping? Nevertheless (Mesa like that word -Jar Jar Binks), the entry is quite complete but I'll add my 2 Cents to that. I distinctly remember that after returning from Bio, well, it was the polar opposite of hell. Note that in that sentence alone I made two mentions of the word 'Cold'. And that's exactly what it is. Cold.
 Not to be nagging but I believe some of us are raised on pure Malaysian weather A.K.A under the sun and we don't have much tolerance for cold. In fact, I'll just let my cold, hard fingers do the talking, if you know what I mean. Now I know there are a lot of you having nuke reactors to generate heat but mine is an old Bunsen burner, albeit insulated, I give you that but, damn I feel cold. So cold that the air outside felt like those big exhaust blowers at the parking lot at Wawasan Plaza, minus the draft. But enough about the freaking air-cond.
 Recess was quite forgettable but I'd like to extend my hands to Chan, who seemed to really have PMS. Post Menstrual/Mandy Syndrome; take your pick. He looks gloomier than a bride on a groomless nuptial day. Or something like that. Surprisingly, the Door Patrol (sorry but I segregate using locations) aren't very active today; probably enjoying the cold inside the class. Nicholas was scolding the 4B (more like disbelieving) top scorer. some Chinese guy I don't know. Well, 4B most of 4B joined the SAP gang of last year (for those who don't know, SAP means Sijil Something Something but it also means Saya Amat Pandai, a degratory term for those who failed their core subject[s]). Talk about irony.
 Also, during the History period, ~10 people trudged out to the canteen for Rekacipta. The teacher, Jeffri, talked a buncha crap about cleaning machines amid the deafening machine gun of the concrete smasher so I didn't catch much. Nicholas expressed interest in quitting the subject, citing Celestinism and disinterest. It's the former I'd like to knock him over the head with. Anyway, History sucked, what with all those facts to write. After school, Sanjit told me something about Interact meeting but I guess it's for the old members so I didn't go. Being the last to exit the class, I did not notice anyone chatting so maybe Ariff left early. That's it. MSC wasn't even hanging around Madina, if memory serves. Tomorrow is Pancaragam so I welcome those with nothing better to do on a dry Saturday morning to go beat some drums. It's 1030-1230 if anyone cares. Ciao.  One last note: Samson is teaching Japanese to the core Stella gang! WTF??!! Well, that's exactly what Nicholas thought, and, I suspece, me as well. Okay, I'll give the guy credit for a job, hopefully, well done. Now mind telling me what it's for if not out of interest? I've already ranted too much. Before I go, here's a favourite quote:

 Heaven is defined as having an American income, a Chinese cook, a British house and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese income, a British cook, a Japanese house and an American wife.

 Seventh Entry for the Twenty first of March, 2002. Funny day, this.
 Penned by: Reign226
 Today is Thursday, in case you're wondering.

 Today, Chung Vui Min and Ariff Kamil was AWOL (away without official leave) but I didn't realize that until after recess. Nevertheless, we had Physic hell today; all one and forty five minutes of it. This time was about the Setara test, which I fared rather poorly along with the rest of the class though 4B did fail, meaning no offence. The whole affair was forgettable and I wished I could've used that time to nap courtesy of late-night television sessions.
 After Mrs. Low left, we are greeted by Moral. The moral teacher, whoose name I forgot (don't say it, Lee), was pissed at our attitude but the whole session went away without any other hiccups. Everybody sat, and listened intently except for a few isolated chats.
 Then comes BM. My life is in disarray thanks to the accursed subject as I have no strand of exercises whatsoever, ditto to all the books I was supposed to have yet don't. Komsas was the highlight this day and Fazila was overwhelmingly responsive, sparing the rest of us form patronizing the teacher. The bell rung and it's recess.
 As usual, Chan, Gan, Aaron, Presaad, Adam, Chou, Nazman and the rest hung around outside, chatting with girls and friends. Lee waited for me at the toilet, though I did not go there, for quite a while before discovering I was having breakfast in class while the test talked and talked recess away. I did not bother to find out what but would welcome any good samaritans out there with some insider insight to divulge with the rest of us.
 Next comes Bio. Aaron went over to sit with the MSC gang while Foo Lynn and Stephanie moved back into ARIFF'S PLACE (sorry, just had to stress it) for the boring period. Other than that, there were no other seating irregularities today. The Bio paper was handed out with the exception of a few and we talked the period away, just like any other period.
 At last comes Add Maths. Dictator Sim swaggered in with a bag of batteries this time and proceeded to Nick and my place. He stared at us with his larcerating eyes and made some sound of some sort. Gladly, we parted for his Grandship. After tinkering with the air conditioner, he motioned Nicholas with his dictatorial voice to climb up and...I didn't catch the last part.
 Nicholas fumbled around (he later explained that he was trying to get the filter out), apparently unsure of what he was doing. Coaxed (forced, rather) by The Sim, he hammered the poor 'ditioner a few times to no avail, receiving a slap on his butt (not funny but totally humourous) for his supposed cluelessness. Lee went up next but had no better luck as it seems the cover was stuck.
 The Sim then instructed Lee to pull the filter out and Nick restrained himself from choking the Revered Sim. Then, both were hauled out to clean it.
 The next ten minutes passed uneventful. Until Nicholas came in. He brought with him an obviously wet but still dirty filter. Apparently, he had tried washing it from the dust's side, which explains the dirt. The whole class exploded when he was asked to go out again with a warning about getting a wife or something, especially Michelle and her friends who was up on stage trying to suppress the laughter.
 Another ten minutes and both Lee and Nicholas came back. Only one survived the Sim onslaught and that man wasn't Nicholas. Lee quickly came and shoved the filter up the hole and be done with it. Nicholas was spotted later lounging around outside the class, unable to bring himself to come in. But he did anyway and the Sim had the look of a disappointed father as he finally reieved Nicholas of his tough duty.
 The filter was very wet so he placed it on Ariff's table. All hell broke loose when he sat down. Mr Sim spotted the filter and asked Nicholas what the problem is. Nicholas replied that it was not dry, which the teacher rebutted with "You have to try bah!" Then, Dictator Sim went on a long speech about Nicholas and his father but I (along with everyone in the class with the sense of humour) was too busy wiping tears from my eye. With that, the wet filter was put back into the air-cond. The end.
 Did I mention that though Mr. Sim had a good sense of humour, it is always at the expense of others, except for the, Selepas lima soalan, saya pun pasangkan lagu yang sedih, ambil tali pinggang fiasco. Well, the day is done and I felt like a zombie. Why am I even typing now?

 Sixth Entry for the Twentieh of March, 2002. Happy day, this.
 Penned by: Reign226
 Today is Wednesday, in case you're wondering.

 Wednesday is sports day - to a certain extent. Morning was the usual Negaraku drawl before a trip (or not) to the toilet for a shift of clothes. Ariff and Aaron was mysteriously absent and since football was an event I loved to skip the past year, today was no different; with the exception of companionship from Lee and Jeremy of course.
 Pretty soon, I spotted some shadowy elements hiding behind some bushes. A check revealed Aaron and Ariff huddling together. Ariff said he needs to cuci mata and, upon further persuasion and elaboration, menikmati perempuan. Ariff proceeded to make some jokes about Aaron and his fisherman simile. According to Ariff, Aaron uses pukat tunda instead of the rod so all fish big and small are caught. Upon further reflection, it was quite true. Except the sonar part...okay, maybe not.
 The females were having a bout of hockey under the stern dictatorship of Mrs Margeret while Bala, the male monarch, was missing most of the time. The football tally was ~2-0, again with 4A as the losing side, an improvement over the 8-2 whoop last time. The bell rung and the males regrouped and headed back to class. Don't ask me how but apparently, PJ was not supposed to be over yet we are regaling in the class. Time took care of that problem soon enough.
 Next, we have Add Maths. Mr. Sim, another dictator extrodinare that would give Castro a run for his money if not for his good natureness, approached. He doled out exercised. Uh oh, I just realized I left them at school. Motherlover. Anyway, we did some runs with the x and this time, Ariff was not so badly crushed by the Sim. If memory prevails, Amy, Foo (Lynn), Lee, Pang? Anyway, I have demonstrated by lack of memory cohesiveness once again. Boo.
 Mr. Sim wielded his patented exit style. One period too early, giving Thong an excuse to stretch his legs. Mr. Sim came back quickly and...well, I dunno what happened as I was having another debate with Nick. Luckily, we didn't get screwed this time by Sim and rightly, he went away come the next bell.
 BI was the next period and Miss Sophia was angry at us for not finishing our work. Luckily, I rushed it duri....damn. Sorry, Moral was the correct period. The teacher talked the hour away as usual and we get to sit the last ten minutes out. Bell rung and buhbye. Nothing much happened at recess; people went in and out until it was impossible to do so without a trip to Puan Chiam's office. Chau and Adam said to me something about getting 'close'. Then, they commented on my pant's line or something about pulling my pants up too much. Did I? *Shrug* After adjustments, my pants feel like falling off; testement of my adopted style for ~8 years.
 Pants aside, Chan had his day with Sheena, as usual and 'hi' to Stephanie and Lynn. Or something. Okay, now I'm demonstrating lack of preceptive cohesiveness. At last, recess was over and BI ensued. As I mentioned before, Miss Sophia was not happy at us but work has to go on. After marking the exercises, we were given some vocab to do. Darn, I spelt that 'D' word wrong and am too lazy to pull out the English book again. The period ended and Biology was next.
 I was pleasantly surprised at the comfy (albeit low) chair for my posterior and even happier at the thought of another experiment. It involves saliva and that was an added bonus. The first thing that came to mind was another botched iodine sample but we shall see how things turned out...
 After gathering the instruments of destruction, we milked Nicholas and Chin for their white stuff. Okay, please don't go there. Anyway, the usual drips of iodine on porcelain and...well, boo boo. We repeated it several times, each having the same outcome so the conclusion was simple. However, Jeremy came out tops this time, taking one drop of saliva, adding 100 times the amount of water and 20 times the amount of starch. The result? The first drop was deep blue. Second, lighter and so on until the colour of the iodine remained the same. I still think the iodine is botched and that Nick's saliva was merely spreading slowly around the tube, making the tests less and less reactive. With that done, we talked,
 Aldrin played around with (ahem) Cynthia and iodine. Then came the cockroach. Ariff brought the pest out (go, hero!) and proceeded to smell the forcep? used to handle the cockroach. Then, we played with water and iodine with starch and left the day feeling quite satisfied. And probably heavily left behind in Bio as well.

  Ariff Speaks!
 Well, Khor actually already made one for Wednesday so i'm just basically correcting whatever he said in the diary before this. I didn't smell the forceps for god's sake (gross!!!), i was actually taking a closer look at the, erm, stains at the edges. And i wasn't watching girls...it was singular, not plural (Stephanie). Lastly, Mr Sim didn't blast my ass today as i was actually doing something, to his surprise. Oh yea, by the way, the pants thingy, don't mind what the dicks said. Do what you are comfortable with. Ya, i tried your style for two days (you didn't noticed my pants weren't hanging?) and it felt bloody uncomfortable for me, so i think i'll stick with my current style... About this diary thingy, maybe we can do shifts...that is, if i decide to show up at school more than 3 days a week. Cheers

 Fifth Entry for the Nineteenth of March, 2002.
 Penned by: NOT Ariff
 Today is Tuesday, in case you're wondering.
  Warning, this message is not part of the Editors and are therefore not subject to anti-swear technology. Watch your step. Thank you.

 Urm, this is my first post as a freelancer (could be permanent soon) so hope this will end up readable to the masses, if they ever bother coming here anyway. Ok, enough with the crap, back to business, Tuesday morning.
 There probably was some leftovers of Monday as the class had the familiar staid Monday morning physic class atmosphere during chemistry, but then it could just be me as i skipped school yesterday for no good reason and so this would be my Monday :).
 For some unknown reasons, a teacher whatever-her-name-is had been sitting at the back left corner of the class, observing us, or the teacher, could be both but then she somehow was able to remain discreet throughout the first period as i only realised her presence when i was warned by Gan as i was about to drop unconscious (as usual) on my desk.
 I cancelled it, and so had to stay half-awake. But 5 minutes later decided to screw it and just finish my snooze. Taking a glance to make sure she wasn't looking at my direction, i noticed that Aldrin, who is sitting directly in front of her was already in Wonderland or some other land i don't know.
 The unknown teacher went off, yada yada, couldn't remember much what our chemistry teacher thought us. Wait, its supposed to be about chemical balance or something...i'm not sure. But bet you aren't reading this for that anyway so i won't bother.
 Right after chemistry, the usual toilet convoy which consisted of half of the class, females mostly. I was wondering what do they actually do at the toilet anyway, with that number and taking quite a considerable amount of time. A campfire most probably, but i'll let my ignorance rule this time.
 Waited and waited and waited...and whatever-was-the-name of our maths teacher didn't show up. She had something i was told but i didn't really bother getting details as i was off making some noise on my desk, with my eyes closed that is.
 I hardly had my eyes shut when who else but Mr Sim showed up to take over the class. As usual, he made some stupid jokes and slammed me at the ass real hard (verbally). It seems i am the worst person in Maths in that class and i am back by 3 chapters (we just learned 3). He came in to explain the setara Add Maths paper, made some more jokes at my cost and as soon as the bell rung, he was gone with the soundwaves.
 Soon it was the time for our English teacher, Miss Whatshernameagain and i expected there to be another Shakespeare praising class. Somehow, this time she didn't even go near Shakespeare or his sexually-inspired sonnets. Instead, we were supposed to discuss about the cane, whether we should keep it or not.
 As usual, mostly everybody came up with really serious reasons, but my group and Nicks group somehow enlightened the class with our usual stupid ideas. Made some jokes about sado-masochism, but somehow no one got it. Lack of udang (don't know? nevermind...) maybe...these people are too innocent to be true...
 Then came recess. Ok, i'm supposed to make it dramatic or something as we were just free from our English teachers cluthes. Don't get me wrong, i am happy it was recess but just don't have the mood to show it now. To those who think i'm not showing enough of my emotion, probably i'll go and jump around in class, grab a pole and do a victory strip to show i am genuinely glad.  Anyway, was able to persuade Nicholas to spare 15 minutes of his recess time to tutor me. Woo-hoo!!! Now i'm just 2 chapters behind in Add Maths!!!
 Had a lively debate with Nick, Lee and Khor(Reign) about whether information technology is good or the other way round, but then decided to quit from it as i realised only an amish can win this. Mr Sim came again for another round of ass-whooping, mine mostly, made some jokes about going to the toilet and hanging himself due to our terrible marks (wait, i think he made that during Maths, but what the hell, better late then never, and i just loathe editing this damn document).
 Thankfully, Add Maths only lasted for a period and spared my posterior from too much a whooping. Next came History. Time seemed to move real sl...o...w.......
 Thank god, the last period finally came even though i don't favour it much. BM as usual started with I-cant-remember-her-name yakking...then came the notes on our Paper 2 and soon we were down to business (no, not that business. Workbook).
 Copied the answers from Gan, slept, copied answers from Gan, slept some more and soon the last bell rang. Nearly everybody shuffled off at the speed of light, leaving some lost souls hanging around in class. Gan, me, Aaron and some girls were supposed to be responsible to stick some words at the back of the class but then i couldn't stay around for long as i had gastro...however you spell it.
 Soon, went back home and let ignorance get the best of me, not giving a damn about the word thingy...wait, did i mention Aaron made the class smell like a flower today? And some guys came in to repair the air-conditioners too...nevermind, just press back and go read some other stuff on this site...
Cheers

 Fourth Entry for the Eighteenth of March, 2002. Boring day, this.
 Penned by: Reign226
 Today is Monday, in case you're wondering.

 The first day of the week - Monday - is usually preceeded by the dreaded assembly. Today is no different. The class trudged the usual route and stood still for ~one and a half hours, thought I did not really count. As usual, we sing the <REMOVED BY SERVER> school song, which someone (including me) said was so biased towards religion. Then again, most of the national anthems are so I'm guessing this is some kind of mob mentality the writers adopted.
 Nevertheless (and, with that, leaving the sensitive religion topics) we move on to the first period of the day: Physics. At the usual interlude, which I think is created to soften us up before being hammered by Mrs Low and her physics drawl, Nicholas unveiled his Information Technology papers, notes rather, which was terribly thin, to say the least. Thin in the sense that three chapters could be fitted into one page. To be honest, I was expecting more but I ain't complaining either.
 As usual, physics was forgettable with the exception of the trademark paper/notes/exercise distrubution. Then, we have BM, which was equally forgettable with the possible exception that my group has yet to cut out the physics 'word' and stick 'em on the wall. Note to self: Go to school early tomorrow. And watch out for that dog.
 Finally: Recess. The class, as usual, vanished out of the class and I followed Lee out too. Here, we have success in pulling over, or at least persuading, some more IT devotees, namely Stella, Lim?....okay, I forgot the rest but rest assured the list is growing to an extensive 15+. And then, BI.
 The expectation of another boring Shakespearian-bound hour vanished come exam paper handouts. Thank you, thank you. Right, enough about that lest you all think I'm becoming self-centred.
 After that, Maths, which was not eventful like always. After 1/2 hour of maths, time for sports registration. Much of the class elites (of their own fields, though I am not IN ANY WAY suggesting anything so keep your imagination bottled up this time) decided time was better spent elsewhere. I asked Jeremy to help me sign up for the school band (and I distinctly remember Nicholas saying they're part of the Sukma band, though I'm not too sure of that information's validity, meaning no offence of course). As it is, Gan, Lee, Chin, Ho, Cynthia, Michelle, Foo Lynn, Stephanie, Sheena, Thong and whatnot stayed back.
 After a bout talking, I realized the classroom smelled, pardon me to those involved, strange. Headache strange. Sheena, as it turned out, brought some air fresheners. Either she was above and beyond the call of duty (if she's not AJK Keceriaan) or falling in line of duty but giving the flashbangs to the wrong person: Aaron. This guy decided 4A smelt like a toilet and proceeded to give it generous (note the sarcasm) amounts of the less-than-sweet stuff. In short, it wasn't very nice.
 Luckily, the day draws to a conclusion and everybody went home one way or another. And that is that.

 Third Entry for the Thirteenh of March, 2002. Unlucky day, this.
 Penned by: Reign226
 Today is Wednesday, in case you're wondering.

  Hmmm, it seems Setara is over out backs now and good riddance. As usual, today was the last day for Setara (which has passed, by the way. Did I mention that just now?) so there was less than adequate time to fool around. The quiet atmosphere of Setara was broken by Nicholas when he ventured out in dead silence, upsetting a bottle and shattering the atmosphere around the class. We had a silent chuckle at his blunder, admit it. Thanks Nick, for making Setara a joke once more, both to your antics and your brains.
  Well, we had a one hour interim (forced, might I add) to while away and the teacher tried a few times to quell our mouths, coming only a measly one time close to success. Our BM teacher (what's her name again? Sorry but I have EXTREMELY bad memory) could've done much better. And she's a girl. Hmmm, then again, maybe that's the reason. Anyway, when the last bell broke, we all ran for home. Well, my home consists of waiting under that big tree so the running kinda stops after a while, if you know what I mean. Ariff also had a rather painful day today, thanks to some inconsiderate jerk who pushed him too hard into a piece of glass. Ever had one slice your thumb? Well, I give him an A+ for effort in trying to stand the pain but an F- for trying to stop the flow of blood. But Ariff is, thank god, all good and well now, except maybe with excessive loss of blood. The amound practically stained quite a few rolls of tissue.
  That was pretty much it. Tomorrow is the day for registering co-curriculum activities so don't ponteng. That's it for now. Oh and the past few days had quite a few funny events. Since I feel like a sleep-deprived zombie now, I'll just list it down and be done with it. That is, if memory serves.
Nicholas the Clueless - Happened at Setara. He was playing around with those PH detection thingies when he suddenly clamps it into his mouth, after my suggestion, apparently, that it wouldn't work in the absence of a liquid medium. Er, Nick, that's not exactly what I mean. Well, he chewed one of the squares off and had to make a quick detour outside to the pipe to clean his mouth. Hmm, I can only recall this much. If I can, I'll personally torture the person who indexes my brain: too much lag. L8er.

 Second Entry for the Seventh of March, 2002
 Penned by Reign226
 Today is Thursday, in case you are wondering.

 So what happened today? The first word that comes to mind is boredom. In fact, school today was so boring that I'll just omit the boring parts (those contributing to the 'Droning Text Syndrome').
 Add Maths was more interesting than usual today. Mr.Sim made a joke, right? Lemme think a little...nah, I can't recall it but it was supposed to be funny. Next, we headed for BIO, where all hell, again, broke lose. Notice the fact that I got the timelines completely wrong and I didn't care.
 We are doing another amali, this time about the effects of different PH environments on the activity of enzymes. From the word 'GO' eveything went downhill. First, Me, having a task of collecting the tools of the trade, bungled up so much that I completely wasted my time wandering around, ending up with some strips of coloured paper.
 Then, we argued among ourselves about the next step while everyone moved ahead. It was after stretched moments of confusion that Jeremy took hold of the situation and turned things around. Things picked up speed and we returned to our table.
 Then, the first 'uh, oh' of the day. Chung Vui Min, that son of a mother, actually shook the thermometer so hard that the mercury got stuck on the top of the infernal heat sensor array! The room temperature was -10 C according to it and we had a brief moment of laughter.
 Come time to boil the three test tubes, someone left the fire on...too long. In the end, (and after much screaming and shouting) I turned off the fire and watched in horror as the new thermometer (we got a replacement) read 45 C. The water which was supposed to simulate a body's temperature was so high that the patient was probably dead.
 Anyway, we tried to cool the mixture down. First plan was to add sterilized water to the concoction. It brought the temperatures down somewhat.
 When water filled the brim, Lee began blowing air into the glass cup. We all thought it was a wise idea until he told us he was having fun.
 After much waiting (of which the temperature remained stedily above 40), Jeremy made his first error. He burnt the PH detection paper. It was now crispy black.
 Not satisfied for losing his 'Fool of the Day' title, Chung wrestled with me for the water squirter. We almost pushed the mixture over but stopped in the last moment.
 The 20 minutes was up and we decided to do some PH testing. Chung regained the title when he successfully dropped two good PH testers into one tube. None of us had the fingers to take it out so we start blaming ourselves.
 Then, Jaremy dropped his crispy paper into another and we decided this experiment was cursed by the spawn of devil. Of course, none of this would go into the Buku Amali but after a moment of reflection, I had laughed a lot today.
 Oh and someone broke a test tube and Nick took the blame for it.
 And I think I smell acid on my hands. Make that the spawn of... something eviller <-(the existence of this word is doubted) than devil.
 I have now known to fear BIO. And apparently, no other group had as much fun as we do. Or as much frustration.

 4A Diary, First Entry for the Sixth of March, 2002.
 Penned by: Reign226
 Today is Wednesday, in case you're wondering.

Reignspeek: Sorry, this was supposed to be the first entry and I now present it to you, unedited. Sorry, Nick.

Welcome to compulsive addictions and TV shrinks. No matter what, we gurantee an addiction to this little sitcom of ours. You'll either be hooked to the whole idea or be hooked to the whole idea of avoiding it. (You saw that coming eh?) Still, I'm not doing this for the sheer fun of being a sitting duck waiting for the insult influx, so here goes...

Well, today was as unhealthy as any other All Saints day. Thanks to the sudden supernatural haze lingering like an untimely fart, that particular definition of "unhealthy" has been brought to a new level. For once, some of us were glad we were stuck in assembly, with the obvious exception of the guy standing beside the door some sadist forgot to close.

Perhimpunan was one of those ego-stroking orgies the school is so famous for. Strangely, there actually WAS something to shout about today. To Tan Li Mun, 10A1 2A2 student and Linda Tiong, 9A1 2A2 student (Catherine if you're reading this give her the most sisterly hug ever, okay?) - thanks for an assembly that FINALLY made sense.

The canteen is to be expanded too, with a racist twist - halal and non-halal food stalls in the pipeline. There was never anything wrong with halal cuisine, and privately I get the feeling the non-halal stall will only create another fuse for the duelling gangs to light. Of course, with the canteen expanded, there can only be more spectators than before.

...And of course, when some teacher started to drone on and on about Sports Day results, the assembly finally regained a semblance of normalcy. There doesn't seem to be any clear rationale behind the decision to hand out medals during assembly, but then, there HAS never been any clear rationale to depend on in All Saints anyway.

And on to Physics we marched on bravely. The inclusion of graphs in a national Physics syllabus should be made a capital offence. With teacher popularity ratings directly proportional with student light bulb brightness, the people who draw up Physics syllabuses (syllabi for the grammar purists) don't need the kepekaan of a tolok skru mikrometer to measure the level of student oppression regarding Physics. Or for that matter, anything without readable textbooks.

BM was more of the Peribahasa essay crap no one ever seems to find any real use for in the real world. The only job requiring expertise in writing proverbial essays seems to be with the essay reference book companies.

Recess...the Indomitable Isaac was chatting up Foo Lynn and Stephanie, the Aaron gang was standing guard at the classroom door, and the rest of the class could have been wearing floppy hats at an international swimsuit conference for all I know. Well, English was preceded by mysterious instructions to "go to the library", to be pushed off in single file from the fifth floor for all we knew.

Getting serenaded by Gwyneth Paltrow and her quill-toting hunk in "Shakespeare In Love" wasn't exactly the warm reception we had expected, but with a lecture on Sonnet 18 that could have been used as a powrerful tranquilizer following, we were glad for the diversion. Ms Sophia was indefatigable, as usual, but some passions are just meant to be seen but not heard.

Back to Maths, and there came the surprise of the day. Someone who could have been Chin's mom and Mr Sim's childhood idol at the same time. A prayer we made, and God has the Big Kahuna drop by. She went...on and on and on. Like Eminem's backup singer gone professional. Like a rapper who was thrown out of the studio for complaining too much. Like ten shopping mall PA systems connected to each other. But by Jove, she was good.

Well, not for the ones who were stumbling through her surprise test. With an ominous warning that failures would be thrown out of the Anggerik community, you could have heard a mosquito scratch its head during the test. Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained, but in Science, gain can never appear in the same sentence as venture.