I am Not Superman by Leela Ganey  By Leela Ganey Part One Of One Disclaimer: I do not own: Steve Hewitt, Brian Molko, or Stefan Olsdal. I do not own the song "Superman" by Five for Fighting. I am not the one who issued the fic challenge nor am I the one who took picture number five on the fic challenge page: http://www.geocities.com/placeboslash/challenge/ Rating: Sadly very PGish... I think there is some bad language... but not enough to cause a fuss over. Personal Note: Okay... I had a whole bunch of ideas that just kinda got crammed together in one short piece. I've been thinking a lot about friends and how they interact over the past few weeks. I have also fallen in love with a song called "Superman" by Five for Fighting. The song really says how I've been feeling for the past few months. This is not a song fic though. And finally the last thing that came along to really push me into writing was the random fic picture challenge thing. I can never resist a challenge... I chose picture number five because Steve is the only one looking at the camera... It is like he has something to say. Like Malcolm in Malcolm in the Middle does.. . Feedback: Praises to Flames are accepted and welcome. I am not Superman By Leela Ganey I am not Superman, Mighty Mouse, the Incredible Hulk, An X-Man, Batman, or any other Superhero. But that does not change the way Brian Molko sees me. To Him I am his Superman. Sometimes his very saving grace. I did not look for this Job... I never applied or stated "I Steve Hewitt wanted to be Brian Molko's Superhero." But somewhere along the way I got the job. One that I could never turn away from. For the Job isn't even a Job. It is just something you do... Something I do. It is what being a good bloke and rue mate is. Right? Maybe... in a world that is rapidly becoming more and more about the individual... Is being a true friend something old fashioned? I hope not. People cannot survive when they can't grasp the concept of you and me against the world rather than I, me, myself, and what you can do for me. Let's take a moment to review: I am not Superman... And to Brian I am. What did I do to earn my read cape and blue tights? Well, I would like to say but the truth of the matter is I don't remember... And that is not due to the Drugs, Sex, and Rock n Roll... No, I simply do not remember that special moment. Because it was not my special moment or moment of realization. It was Brian's. It was one of those things that you don't even think about when you are doing them. You just think it is all a part of being a good friend. Then later or much later as in my case, Brian and me are going home after an evening at the pub. I decided that it would be a good idea to see Brian home. When we get there in the cab, Brian insists that I just crash at his place to night. Which in Brian lingo that meant: "I don't want to spend the night alone in my flat." I had nowhere to be the next morning so spending the night was not a big deal. Since we had been best friends since well... far to long... to really count up. But a wonderful plus to being friends forever is that just like with marriages, your stuff like clothes, books, cups, mugs, video tapes, socks, baseball caps (mine), make-up (Brian's), CDs, pictures... *ahem* You get the idea... Basically you name it, it has gotten shuffled back and forth. And I have enough things at Brian's flat I should probably be paying him rent or helping pay the bills. But it was the with my flat and Brian's stuff. So in the grand scheme of things it all works out. Hell, I think Brian has more things at my flat than Emily. Now in some lights that could be considered odd... But that is just the way things are. Okay... Okay... I know at some point I was telling a story with a point. Damn Tangents... Anyway like I was saying, Brian asked me to stay over and I probably said something brilliant like, "Sure things Molks... No problem." So with that settle we let ourselves fall victim to late night TV... Which no matter where you go in the world there is one thing that stays the same... Bad late night telly programs. So we are sitting there finally I've decided I have had enough of the bad TV and the day all together. So I told Brian that I was going to be. He said Okay. I padded over to the guestroom. Got dressed for bed and then crawled into bed. Then I promptly fell right asleep. And I was completely zonked out that night. Until 3am that morning. I woke up to Brian shaking me awake. At first I thought something horrible was happening. You know the typical things: the house is burning down, there's a burglar, we are having an earthquake, someone left the bathroom sink dripping... Like I said... Typical stuff... But you and even I forget Brian is not even close to being typical... He is not even in the same ballpark. So after I manage to shake the thoughts of the typical... I ask Brian why he wants me to be awake at such a horrid hour in the morning. He said a whole bunch of things I did not catch... I did try though. Then he says "Thank You." Eh? Huh? What? My sleepy mind was trying to make sense of a sleepy Brian ramble... It just can't be done... No matter how many years I've known Brian. And then there was that thank you.... What was Brian thanking me for? I had not done anything to really be thanked for. I tell him this and Brian giggles and looks at me. Then very slowly he says, "Thank you for saving my life." I know that if you hadn't said the things you said to me in the past. I would not be alive today." Eh? I did not save his life. Why is he thanking me? I remember my head hurting. but what did I say to him that morning? "If you say so Brian... Can we get back to sleep?" I had been able to make out his face out in the soft darkness... I saw him smile and shake his head. He gets up and leaves me to going back to sleep. The next morning I never gave what had happened a second thought... that is until I am in a cab going to my home. Then I started thinking why would Brian say that to me? I didn't save his life there were times when Brian needed to be straightened out but don't we all get like that sometimes? Isn't that why we have friends? To help keep our feet on the ground and pick us up when we fall? In my mind it is a very simple clear-cut thing. The trust and well being of a friend is not something you fuck around with. And people who did fuck around with those special things always ended up alone. It was just a matter of time till they did. When Brian and I first met we just clicked. He didn't want someone who would bullshit him and I had no interest in bullshitting anyone about anything. A match made in heave and in hell sometimes. I am not gong to lie... Brian and I are great friends. But we can also argue and fight like our lives depended on it. We don't do it as much anymore. That is probably because of Stef. It irritates him when Brian and me fight over pointless shit. I think it reminds Stef of his parents, who did and still do the exact same thing. And Brian and I do not like seeing our favourite Vulcan upset. But all kidding aside... Stef is one of the worst people to see upset. He doesn't really act out with passive aggressive tendencies like Brian nor does he rant and rave like I've been known to do. No with Stef he gets this look in his eyes... He doesn't stand up straight. His whole body seems to just slow down. It is very weird and you can feel his upset with out him ever saying anything. I sometimes wonder if the three of us could be anymore different. Maybe... But I like the differences. They are an asset and not something that sets us back most of the time anyways. Nothing is perfect. But then again we never claimed we are perfect. We just want to make progress. I think I have a natural talent for tangents... Back to the whole in the cab thinking on the way back to my flat thing... The only thing I have truly ever done for Brian besides being there when he needs me... I am the one who will always puts Brian in his place. I will tell when he has crossed the line. That sounds like a really harsh thing. But with people like Brian there is no end to where he might float off to. He doesn't eve realize that he is even gone sometimes. I guess that is another reason why we argued so much those first few years. I have a huge habit of not sugar coating things for anyone. And I guess for along time that is why Brian asked for my opinion. He knew I would tell him the truth. And I never failed him on that. That is my saving grace... That is why Brian looks at me sometimes he sees his very own Superman. How do I see myself? I am not Superman... I am just a good friend. The End Challenge Home | Archive Home |