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Teacher and Students Jokes |
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TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor? CINDY : You told me to do it without using tables! TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"? JOHN : "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong JOHN : Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it! TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH : "HIJKLMNO"!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH : Yesterday you said it's H to O! TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE : Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? CLASS : George! TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WILLY : Me! TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? TOMMY : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are. SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark? FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? SYLVIA: Your name on this report card. TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? JOSE : Don't bite any. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN : I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." ELLEN : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime." Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand." Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father : No. Why do you ask that? Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then? Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home. At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute 5- year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks. "I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers." Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Student: Brotherly love. Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog! Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Pupil : A teacher. What is the definition of a "Dhobi" ? The only person who can legally tell any woman "Kapde Nikal Ke Rakho Mein Aata Hoon...." Which boy has got the permission to get into a girls bathroom and touch her everywhere while she is taking bath?" LIFEBUOY (Soap) A group of Elephants were sitiing on the street. A sexy female Elephant passes by. What does the loafer Elephant say? "WOW....3600-2400-3600" |
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