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Marraige Jokes |
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*** I Love You ***
Three seconds to say I love you, Three hours to explain it, And a lifetime to prove it. ROMANCE MATHEMATICS: ******************** Smart man + smart woman = affair Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy Dumb man + smart woman = romance Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage OFFICE ARITHMETIC: ****************** Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime SHOPPING MATH: ************* A man will pay Rs.20 for a Rs.10 item he needs. A woman will pay Rs.10 for a Rs.20 item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS: ******************************* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage. There is no difference between being in love and thinking you're in love.....The joy and pain is the same" Smile...life goes on like this, because GOD made it. Marriage Jokes ************** Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes. It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives. If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish. There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. Girlfriends are like chocolates, taste good anytime. Lovers are like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently. Husbands are like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice. Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash. Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell. Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life! Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence! Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it." Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in most countries, son." Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late." A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes. When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifiers: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes. A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" Asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire". Shaadi ke pehle aur baad ------------------------ Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya? Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Hai Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun? Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Kaaran Shaadi ke pehle - Yes Boss :-) Shaadi ke baad - Yes Boss :-( Shaadi ke pehle - Mere Sapno Ki Rani Shaadi ke baad - Munne Ki Amma Shaadi ke pehle - Kabhi Kabhi Shaadi ke baad - If you are lucky Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen |
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