Sardar Jokes

Jassi(sardar) goes to try his luck in KBC

Amitabh : Ek hazaar rupeyo ke liye, aapka pehla sawaal.

Amitabh : What does "C" stand for, in the term LIC?

Aapke options.

A) Company, B) Corporation, C) Colony, D) Cell.

Jassi : Corporation!

Amitabh : Sure!

Jassi : Hah!

Amitabh : Confident!

Jassi : Yes!

Amitabh : Lock kar doo!

Jassi : Haaji!

Amitabh : Computer plz lock option B corporation.

Amitabh : Saahi jawab, aap ek hazaar rupey jeet gaye!

Amitabh : Aapne is muskil sawaal ka, itni aasani se jawab diya, toh ab mein aapko ek simple sa sawaal puchta hoon.

Amitabh : Aapke pitaji ka naam kya hai?

Jassi : (sits silently)

Amitabh : (After a long pause) What is your father's name?

Jassi : (again he sits silently, does not utter a word)

Amitabh : Aap chahe toh aapke life lines istamal kar sakte hein. 50:50,phone a friend, Public opinion.

Jassi : (again jassi sits silently,does not open his mouth)

Amitabh : Kya ab backout karna chahte hai?

Jassi : Oye nahi Amitji! AAPNE AB TAK MUJHE 4 OPTIONS DIYE HI NAHI!

ABCL

Amitabh was questioning a guy on KBC . He asks him "Meri company ka naam kya hain?"

Options : Infosys, Wipro, ABCL, HLL

The guys says "ABCL"

Amitabh asks "Sure, confident?"

The guys says "yes confident"

Amitabh says "Computerji ABCL ko tala laga do"

The computer replies "Abe gadhe ABCL ko 2 saal se tala laga hua hain !"

5 Questions

Santa Singh is the aggresive participant on Kaun Banega..

Amitabh: Santaji, 5 sawal ka jawab diye to Rs. 10,000 jeetiye. 15 jawab par 1 crore! Aapke paas teen lifeline hain.

Ek hazaar rupee ke liye aapka pehla sawaal:

Who is India�s Prime Minister?

A: Vajpayee B: Advani C: Zail Singh D: Amrish Puri?

Santa Singh: Vajpayee.

Amitabh: Sure?

Santa Singh: Yes, sure.

Amitabh: Confident?

Santa Singh: Yes

Amitabh: Absolutely sure?

Santa Singh: Yes Amitji.

Amitabh: Lock kar dein?

Santa Singh: Yes.

Amitabh: Sahee jawab! Aap ek hazaar rupee jeet gaye hain!

Santa Singh: Oye! Saale, ullu mat banaa! Paanch jawab diye hain puray dus hazaar nikaal!

Last episode of KBC

We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat in kaun banega crorepathi.....

AB : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here with us.

Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fatah. Chak denge phatte aaj.Tusi start karo ji.

AB : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000 Rs.

Which state has the largest sikh population ? and your options are

A. Punjab
B. Punjab
C. Punjab
D. Punjab

Santa : Oh ji how much time do I've to answer this question

AB : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can take your time

Santa (giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I wud like to use my lifeline.

AB : I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.

Santa : Audience poll

AB : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time starts now.

After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.

A. 25%
B. 25%
C. 25%
D. 25%

AB : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your disgust here. Par kya karen janta to janardhan hoti hai.

So you would like to go with which option.

Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya sirji aapki audience ne.

I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50.

AB : Very good 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge.
Man me shanka ho to lifeline zaroor istemal karni chahiye, mein sab ko yehi salah deta hoon.

(Getting closer to Santa and whispers in his ears) Isi ke to paise milte hain mujhe.

(Aloud) OK computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.

Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab

Santa : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji.
Mein chhodoonga nahi aaj isko.
Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.

AB : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, YOu have broken a record of using all the lifelines in the very first question. This is great

. OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.

Santa : My one and only one mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.

AB : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye. Aap dono ikkathe he kam karte hai.

Santa : Oh nahi ji ham dono pechle 6 saal se 10th mein fail ho rahe hain.
Badi pakki yaari hai ji hamari, wahe guru de kasam.

Phone rings. Banta picks it " Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adi raati, ???"

AB : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke Kaun Banega Crorepati se.

Banta : OOOOOOOOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein ?$^$%$?$%$%$&. Ke hal chal he sar ji.

AB : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga.

Aapke dost yahaan bethe hain mere saath aur.................

Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gaya hoga, khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.

AB : Aapko sirf tees second .,.............. chaliye mein aapko special case ke tarah treat karte hue 1 minute doonga.
Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.

Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??

Banta : oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote.
Sawere dud wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez pehen gaya.
Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap laye ga.

AB : Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.

Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chhod use yaar question hai ..................... (he tells him the quetion).

Banta : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska answer mujhe aata hai.
Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe .
Iska answer Punjab hai lallu.

Santa : oye par ......... (and the clock stops).

AB : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka confidence hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.

Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.

And this was the last episode of KBC.

KBC Ishytle Party

There is a company which is felicitating all the employees who have completed 3, 5 & 10 years with their organization.

A big party has been arranged for the whole ocassion and the funfilled day has come.

The party starts and everybody is enjoying it and within no time the main event starts.
All of them gather at the center and the HR manager starts compereing the show.

The name of the first employee has been called - Mr. Mulchandani.
Mulchandani is very happy and goes on the stage.
The HR manager asks - Aapko is company mein kitne saal hue hai? The guy says 2 and a half years.

The HR manager says - Oh yeah galat jawaab hai, afsos hum aapko kuch bhi nahin de sakte!!

Koi baat nahin hamare saath is company mein kaam karneke liye bahot bahot shukriya.

Everybody starts laughing. Then comes the secound employee - Mr. Hiranandani.

The same question is being repeated.

Hiranandani very proudly says - 3 and a half years.
he HR personal says, aapka jawaab bilkul sahi, aap paanch hazaar rupaye jeet gaye!!

Everybody starts clapping.

Hiranandani is expecting a cheque from the HR manager but here comes the climax.
HR manager signs in a cheque and says - Yeh raha aapka paanch hazaar rupaye ka cheque, aap ise chukar dekhiye, yeh raha ispar aapka ka naam aur cheque bhi bilkul asli hai.

Lekin hum aapko paanch hazaar rupaye nahin dena chahte,
hum chahte hai ki hum aapko dus hazaar rupaye de aur iskelie aapko aur paanch saal kaam karna padega.

Poor Hiranadani...............................

KBC Jokes

	Jassi(sardar) goes to try his luck in KBC Amitabh : Ek hazaar rupeyo ke liye, aapka pehla sawaal. Amitabh : What does "C" stand for, in the term LIC? Aapke options. A) Company, B) Corporation, C) Colony, D) Cell. Jassi : Corporation! Amitabh : Sure! Jassi : Hah! Amitabh : Confident! Jassi : Yes! Amitabh : Lock kar doo! Jassi : Haaji! Amitabh : Computer plz lock option B corporation. Amitabh : Saahi jawab, aap ek hazaar rupey jeet gaye! Amitabh : Aapne is muskil sawaal ka, itni aasani se jawab diya, toh ab mein aapko ek simple sa sawaal puchta hoon. Amitabh : Aapke pitaji ka naam kya hai? Jassi : (sits silently) Amitabh : (After a long pause) What is your father's name? Jassi : (again he sits silently, does not utter a word) Amitabh : Aap chahe toh aapke life lines istamal kar sakte hein. 50:50,phone a friend, Public opinion. Jassi : (again jassi sits silently,does not open his mouth) Amitabh : Kya ab backout karna chahte hai? Jassi : Oye nahi Amitji! AAPNE AB TAK MUJHE 4 OPTIONS DIYE HI NAHI! ABCL Amitabh was questioning a guy on KBC . He asks him "Meri company ka naam kya hain?" Options : Infosys, Wipro, ABCL, HLL The guys says "ABCL" Amitabh asks "Sure, confident?" The guys says "yes confident" Amitabh says "Computerji ABCL ko tala laga do" The computer replies "Abe gadhe ABCL ko 2 saal se tala laga hua hain !" 5 Questions Santa Singh is the aggresive participant on Kaun Banega.. Amitabh: Santaji, 5 sawal ka jawab diye to Rs. 10,000 jeetiye. 15 jawab par 1 crore! Aapke paas teen lifeline hain. Ek hazaar rupee ke liye aapka pehla sawaal: Who is India�s Prime Minister? A: Vajpayee B: Advani C: Zail Singh D: Amrish Puri? Santa Singh: Vajpayee. Amitabh: Sure? Santa Singh: Yes, sure. Amitabh: Confident? Santa Singh: Yes Amitabh: Absolutely sure? Santa Singh: Yes Amitji. Amitabh: Lock kar dein? Santa Singh: Yes. Amitabh: Sahee jawab! Aap ek hazaar rupee jeet gaye hain! Santa Singh: Oye! Saale, ullu mat banaa! Paanch jawab diye hain puray dus hazaar nikaal! Last episode of KBC We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat in kaun banega crorepathi..... AB : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here with us. Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fatah. Chak denge phatte aaj.Tusi start karo ji. AB : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000 Rs. Which state has the largest sikh population ? and your options are A. Punjab B. Punjab C. Punjab D. Punjab Santa : Oh ji how much time do I've to answer this question AB : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can take your time Santa (giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I wud like to use my lifeline. AB : I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use. Santa : Audience poll AB : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time starts now. After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board. A. 25% B. 25% C. 25% D. 25% AB : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your disgust here. Par kya karen janta to janardhan hoti hai. So you would like to go with which option. Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya sirji aapki audience ne. I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50. AB : Very good 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. Man me shanka ho to lifeline zaroor istemal karni chahiye, mein sab ko yehi salah deta hoon. (Getting closer to Santa and whispers in his ears) Isi ke to paise milte hain mujhe. (Aloud) OK computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen. Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab Santa : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein chhodoonga nahi aaj isko. Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye. AB : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, YOu have broken a record of using all the lifelines in the very first question. This is great . OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap. Santa : My one and only one mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh. AB : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye. Aap dono ikkathe he kam karte hai. Santa : Oh nahi ji ham dono pechle 6 saal se 10th mein fail ho rahe hain. Badi pakki yaari hai ji hamari, wahe guru de kasam. Phone rings. Banta picks it " Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adi raati, ???" AB : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke Kaun Banega Crorepati se. Banta : OOOOOOOOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein ?$^$%$?$%$%$&. Ke hal chal he sar ji. AB : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan bethe hain mere saath aur................. Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gaya hoga, khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji. AB : Aapko sirf tees second .,.............. chaliye mein aapko special case ke tarah treat karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab. Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ?? Banta : oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez pehen gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap laye ga. AB : Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai. Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chhod use yaar question hai ..................... (he tells him the quetion). Banta : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska answer mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe . Iska answer Punjab hai lallu. Santa : oye par ......... (and the clock stops). AB : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka confidence hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj. Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai. And this was the last episode of KBC. KBC Ishytle Party There is a company which is felicitating all the employees who have completed 3, 5 & 10 years with their organization. A big party has been arranged for the whole ocassion and the funfilled day has come. The party starts and everybody is enjoying it and within no time the main event starts. All of them gather at the center and the HR manager starts compereing the show. The name of the first employee has been called - Mr. Mulchandani. Mulchandani is very happy and goes on the stage. The HR manager asks - Aapko is company mein kitne saal hue hai? The guy says 2 and a half years. The HR manager says - Oh yeah galat jawaab hai, afsos hum aapko kuch bhi nahin de sakte!! Koi baat nahin hamare saath is company mein kaam karneke liye bahot bahot shukriya. Everybody starts laughing. Then comes the secound employee - Mr. Hiranandani. The same question is being repeated. Hiranandani very proudly says - 3 and a half years. he HR personal says, aapka jawaab bilkul sahi, aap paanch hazaar rupaye jeet gaye!! Everybody starts clapping. Hiranandani is expecting a cheque from the HR manager but here comes the climax. HR manager signs in a cheque and says - Yeh raha aapka paanch hazaar rupaye ka cheque, aap ise chukar dekhiye, yeh raha ispar aapka ka naam aur cheque bhi bilkul asli hai. Lekin hum aapko paanch hazaar rupaye nahin dena chahte, hum chahte hai ki hum aapko dus hazaar rupaye de aur iskelie aapko aur paanch saal kaam karna padega. Poor Hiranadani...............................


Back to Jokes