Sardar Jokes

1.

Cigarette :

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2.

Love affairs :

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3.

Marriage :

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4.

Divorce :

Future tense of marriage

5.

Lecture :

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6.

Conference :

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7.

Compromise :

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8.

Tears :

The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

9.

Dictionary :

A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10.

Conference Room :

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11.

Ecstasy :

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12.

Classic :

A book which people praise, but do not read.

13.

Smile :

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14.

Office :

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15.

Yawn :

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16.

Etc. :

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17.

Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18.

Experience :

The name men give to their mistakes.

19.

Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.

20.

Philosopher :

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21.

Diplomat :

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22.

Opportunist :

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23.

Optimist :

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24.

Pessimist :

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25.

Miser :

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26.

Father :

A banker provided by nature.

27.

Criminal :

A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28.

Boss :

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29.

Politician :

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30.

Doctor :

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

31.

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

32.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say..........

33.

If it's true that we are here to help others, then, what exactly are the others here for?

34.

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

35.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word ?

36.

Money is not everything. There's MasterCard & Visa.

37.

One should love animals. They are so tasty.

38.

Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught.

39.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

40.

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

41.

The wise never marry.. and when they marry they become otherwise.

42.

Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

43.

Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.

44.

Love is photogenic It needs darkness to develop.

45.

There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning

46.

"Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk?

47.

"Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours

48.

God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.

49.

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

50.

The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you know So.. why learn.

51.

"Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep

Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings

	1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other. 2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test. 3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master 4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage 5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either". 6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power .. 9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage. 10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. 11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before. 12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read. 13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. 17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes. 19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. 20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. 21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. 22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. 23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet." 24. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY. 25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. 26. Father : A banker provided by nature. 27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught. 28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. 31. I was born intelligent - education ruined me. 32. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... what more can I say.......... 33. If it's true that we are here to help others, then, what exactly are the others here for? 34. Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak. 35. How come "abbreviated" is such a long word ? 36. Money is not everything. There's MasterCard & Visa. 37. One should love animals. They are so tasty. 38. Love thy neighbor. But don't get caught. 39. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 40. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 41. The wise never marry.. and when they marry they become otherwise. 42. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 43. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 44. Love is photogenic It needs darkness to develop. 45. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning 46. "Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk? 47. "Work fascinates me" I can look at it for hours 48. God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 49. If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but, if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. 50. The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget The more you forget, the less you know So.. why learn. 51. "Your future depends on your dreams" So go to sleep