On Valentine�s Day 2002, my husband (Pete-29) and I (Jaimmie-24) found out that I was pregnant with twins!! That alone changed our lives forever. We now had to start planning for two babies. What a wonderful day! Later in my pregnancy we found out that we were going to be having boys! We already had 2 daughters at home (4 yrs & 6 mo) so having two boys was exciting. I didn�t really have any complications through this pregnancy. I did go into pre-term labor in June 2002, but other than that it was a normal pregnancy. When I did go into pre-term labor the doctor did another ultra sound and found that baby A was partially in the birth canal. There was no worry though, because it was just the top of his head that was in there, and there was still room for him to move.
In the early morning of August 15th, I had gotten up from bed and was dripping wet. I immediately woke Pete up and told him I thought my water had broken. I didn�t know for sure because with the girls my water was broken during the labor. So we got ready, dropped the girls off at their grandparents� house, picked up my youngest sister and arrived at the hospital by 6am. The doctor did the routine check and found that my water had not broken but because of my contractions now being so strong and frequent, wanted me to be admitted; I was already 36 weeks along. The doctor asked my husband and I if we wanted him to induce because of the position of baby A and being 36 weeks was considered full term. We decided to go ahead and do it. At 7:55am the doctor broke my water and the labor began. Like with our last two children the only medication I had was demorall. By 9:10am the nurses and everyone was in position so to say and ready to go. Then on August 15, 2002 at 9:20 am Tilor Christopher joined our family. He weighed 4 lbs 15 oz and was 18 � in long. He was doing good and scored normal in the apgar scale. Then at 9:52 am Michael Walter joined us. He weighed 5 lbs 13 oz and was 18 � in long. By 10:10 Tilor, Michael, and I had been cleaned up and ready to be moved to our room. I kept the boys in the room with me at all times. I wanted to be able to take care of them on my own, with the help of Pete when he was up at the hospital with me. The only time the boys went to the nursery was for routine screenings the nurses could not do in my room.
On August 17 (The day before our oldest� (Kaylah�s) 5th birthday) the boys and I came home. We felt like a complete family. Each day was happier than the day before having 4 little ones to chase after; 2 in diapers, 1 being potty trained, and the other just wanting attention. We were all so happy. We had delayed Kaylah�s birthday because of the boys being born, but she understood. She said her birthday gift was her brothers being born and coming home. We had a nickname for Tilor that daddy and Kaylah had given him, Little Yoda. Kaylah had been making faces at the boys one day and had folded the tops of Tilor�s ears down. When she did Tilor had puckered up and daddy started laughing. Kaylah said, �He looks like the green guys on Star Wars!� So the nickname �Little Yoda� stuck with him. We just needed a nickname for Michael now. Tilor was the quiet one and just kind of took everything in. Michael on the other hand was impatient. If he wanted something he wanted it right then and there. Not Tilor, he would quietly wait his turn. We had 2 swings; a crank one and a battery operated one. The battery one swung a bit slower than the crank one and Tilor liked that one best. If we put Tilor in the crank one, he would fuss; I guess it went too fast and high for him. Michael on the other hand would fuss if he were in the battery operated one; it was too slow for him. Other than being picky about their swings, the boys were for the most part quiet. Both slept through the nigh from day one, just like the girls, and would play and snooze throughout the day.
Everything was great, except for Michael getting very sick a week after we came home with jaundice. His biliruben went up to 30 and was put in the NICU. After extensive tests and blood work the doctor was able to tell us that Michael had G6PD deficiency, but that was it. Does Tilor need to be tested? What exactly was this G6PD thing that Michael had? We made an appointment for Tilor and Michael to go to Riley�s Children�s Hospital in Indianapolis, Indiana. Once we had seen the hematologist at Riley�s, we found that Michael�s disorder is very rare in the United States, and that he would have to live with it all of his life. Tilor did not have it, he said that Tilor was a very healthy baby.
On October 19, 2002, our family had done something (I cannot remember for the life of me what) delaying our laundry time. So around 11 pm that night I left my husband home with all 4 kids to go to the local laundry mat. I returned home around 1 am-everyone was sleeping. I sat to unwind a bit, when Tilor had woken up. I went into the boys� room and changed him, played with him a bit, and just held him. For the first time since he came into our family, he smiled at me. I was overwhelmed! He had always smiled for everyone else and they would say, �come look�, and by the time I had turned to look he was not smiling anymore. But not this time, he just looked right at me and smiled the biggest smile!! I wanted to jump up and down I was so happy! My heart melted. After about an hour he started dozing back off to sleep, so I kissed him goodnight, said �I Love You�, and put him back to bed. I then went to bed myself.
At 7:36am (October 20,2002) Pete and I were awakened by a terrifying high-pitched scream coming from the boys� room. (Pete and I had slept in the living room on a pull out that night). Kaylah was already awake watching TV in the living room, Rita (our youngest daughter) was still sleeping, and Pete rolled over and said, �Boy, someone sounds pissed�. I remember him saying that cause I laughed about it at the time and said, �yeah�. I got up and went into the boys� room to find Michael crying and Tilor very pale and cold. I immediately picked up Tilor as a chill went down my spine. He was so cold, so pale, and so stiff. I ran into the living room screaming with Tilor in my arms and immediately started CPR, even though I knew deep down it was too late. Pete was not all the way awake yet and when I brought him out it scared him. Kaylah called 911 and I continued CPR. Kaylah kept rubbing my back saying, �He�s going to be okay mom, he�s with the angels and God� (she was only 5). Pete waited outside for the ambulance. Within minutes the ambulance arrived. The paramedics on duty that morning happened to be very close friends of ours. One worked on Tilor in the back as the other drove with me in the passengers seat. (Pete stayed at the house to take the girls somewhere, make a few calls to the family, and said he would meet me up there.) I looked at the paramedic driving and said, �I know with your job you cannot say, but as our friend, what are the chances of Tilor coming home?� I will never forget the look in that mans� face, he just looked at me as the tears filled his eyes and he squeezed my hand as he tried to choke back the tears. I knew then that the worst thing in the world had just happened to our family.
By 8:30am, Pete, my parents, my sisters, my in-laws, my grandparents, and our priest joined me at the hospital. It was the beginning to the worst week in my life. We were told that Tilor had possibly passed away from SIDS. We wanted answers to many �Why� questions, but noone could give us any. The next day I had talked to the coroner on the phone to get the results of the autopsy and toxicology reports, and he told me that Tilor had passed away peacefully. The cause of death appeared to be apnea. He said Tilor had inhaled, exhaled, and then he stopped. Because of legal reasons, he said, the cause of death would have to be ruled SIDS. I still don�t know how we survived going through all of the funeral arrangements and everything. The funeral was beautiful. The funeral home did such a wonderful job. Tilor wore his suit that he was going to wear for Christmas that matched his brothers�. We had him wrapped in the blue and white blanket that my mom had made him less than 2 months earlier, we also put a pair of booties made by one of the Wizard of OZ munchkins (a friend of my mother-in-laws) in the casket with him. My sister also put a precious moments kneeling angel pin on Tilor as she cried. I think the only thing that got Pete & I through the day of the visitation and the day of the funeral, was the support and love from our friends and family, and just pure shock. We did have open casket because so many people in our family had not yet met Tilor, and as parents Pete and I decided together that we needed to be able to watch over our son.
Tilor was cremated on October 24, 2002 after his funeral. We still struggle trying to accept what happened. We may never accept it, however we have learned to live with it.
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