IF GOD HAD VOICE MAIL
Most of us have learned to live with "voice mail" as now a necessary part of our daily lives.
But have you ever wondered what it would be like if God
decided to install voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing the following:
Thank you for calling Heaven.
Please select one of the
following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries
I am sorry, all of our angels and saints are busy helping other sinners right now.
However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received.
Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, Press 1
For Jesus, Press 2
For the Holy Spirit, Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm
while you are holding,
Press 4
To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven,
Press 5,
then enter his or her social security number, followed by
the pound sign.
(If you receive a negative response, please hang up and
try area code 666.)
For reservations at Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N
followed by the
numbers 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs,
the age of the earth,
life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is,
please wait until you arrive.
Our computers show that you have already prayed today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
This office is now closed
for the weekend to observe a religious holiday.
Please pray again on Monday, after 9:30a.m.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor.
Thank goodness God doesn't have voice mail and listens to us every time we pray!!!
_____________________________
Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have
confidence before God and receive from him anything we
ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him.
And this is his command: to believe in the name of his
Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.
1 John 3:21-23 NIV
