"My future lies with you."

***

The apartment is drenched in the dim, gray half-light of a chilly December morning. I hug my sweater closer around me and let the soft fleece warm my skin.

Snow is falling outside the window. I watch as tiny flakes float down to the ground, dancing about in the air like a ballerina doing pirouettes on a huge, open stage.

It's Christmas morning, and the happiness I feel at the occasion is tempered slightly by homesickness, because for the first time since I can remember, I'm not spending it with at home with my family. However unconventional it is.

The twinkling lights on the tree catch my eye as I walk to the kitchen to turn on the coffeemaker. They'd been left on overnight, since it had been Christmas eve, and helped brighten the living room from its place in the corner. The clean scent of pine fills my lungs while I sneak a peak at the gifts under the tree, my sadness evaporating a little.

I sort through the brightly wrapped boxes, reading the tags until I find my name.

"Hey, no cheating."

The voice makes me jump a little, and I turn with a smile from my perch beside the tree to look at him. "Oops," I say without remorse, standing up to give him a quick kiss on the lips. He's dressed in drawstring flannel pajamas and a plain gray shirt, his short hair spiky from the pillows. An overwhelming feeling of contentment begins to swell from somewhere in my chest. I am home. How could I have forgotten that? "Merry Christmas, Pacey."

He pulls me into a tight, warm hug, and I hold on for as long as I can, snuggling comfortably against his chest. "Merry Christmas." He kisses the top of my head, playing with my hair. I love it when he does that.

I lift my head but keep my arms around his back. "I was just about to start making breakfast."

Pacey raises an eyebrow at me. "Oh, is that what you were doing beside the tree?"

"I got sidetracked." I grin, then pause thoughtfully. "I'm disappointed, though. It's a pretty small box."

He laughs and pulls me to sit beside the tree, grabbing the gift - which is half the size of a shoebox - and plopping it unceremoniously on my lap. "I wrapped it myself."

My smile takes over my face. I dig around through the remaining presents under the tree, pull out his - which is actually even smaller than what he'd given me - and hand it to him.

He shakes his head as he takes it, scrutinizing the box critically. "You're disappointed?"

"Open it." I urge him, excited already. It's a silly gift, and I can't wait to see his reaction.

It's our first Christmas together since last summer, when I realized that I was in love with him and broke up with Finn. To make the gift-buying a little easier, we decided not to get each other anything over $10. I had always gotten Pacey presents before, even when we spent the holidays apart with me in Capeside and him in - wherever, but this year… this year is different.

He rips through the red, printed paper, putting it aside impatiently so that he can open the box. I watch his face as he takes out what was inside, holding it up with his fingers.

"Boxers?"

"They glow in the dark." I grin.

Pacey laughs and kisses me sweetly. "Thank you, Joey. Now open yours."

I look down at the carefully wrapped box on my lap, inspecting every side. The wrapping had been done clumsily, with uneven corners and pieces of tape that were too long. My heart turns to goo at the thought of him doing it. For me.

I open the gift with anticipation, knowing even before I see what's inside that I already love it. The box's lid catches, but finally opens, and what greets me is the most adorable little teddy bear I have ever seen. His fur is mocha-colored and feels like cashmere against my fingers. He has on a tiny blue t-shirt with "Pacey" cross-stitched across the front. I think I'm going to cry.

"Oh, Pacey." I hug him to my chest and look at Pacey, who's smiling at me.

"That's his name," he grins. "And he's yours forever."

Something tightens in my chest, and it's a little hard to breathe. I lean across the discarded paper between us and hug him. "I love him," I smile while I blink back the wetness in my eyes.

"I put that name there myself, you know," he says, rubbing my back gently. "You can't imagine the amount of grief David gave me over catching me cross-stitching at the office."

I laugh, picturing Jen's boyfriend walking in on Pacey working with his needle and thread. "Who taught you?"

"Jen. I couldn't believe she knew how, either."

We pull apart so that we can clean up our mess. "Pancakes?" I offer as I head for the kitchen.

"Sounds good." He starts to follow me, then stops. "Hey, why don't we call Bessie first? Greet them Merry Christmas. I'm sure she misses you, Jo."

He knows me so well. I smile in appreciation. "Let's do it later." I miss my sister, too, but I know that right now, I'm exactly where I want to be.