Angelic Thoughts
In the darkness chilled
I felt my heart was inside a hole
My own emotions betraying my will
I climbed down I had to find and acknowledge what I could not control
Trading my cage for unwanted rage
Wondering today whether the devil or God has won
Me today
A viral death
I should have listened to my inner voice
Never kissed
I should have kept alone
The future as always in uncertainty
But now I know not whether it includes me
I should have accepted a dead phone
O, why life ... this?
Where do I belong?
And tell me
Where do I go?
Why can't I believe in you stronger?
My voice does not match the purity
I thought I saw in my soul
Am I losing all my once held goals?
Youth's days are gone
No more can be said
There's a world out there
But I ask again
Where do I belong?
Because I can't feel it
They say that all of it is divine
Between the shadow and the soul
I've lost too many ideals
I count them fading
Give me that cigarette
And I'll accept life's cancers
And shed my tears
Give a "Yes."
O holy wars
My death will be my own
But in the coldness
I percieved
I knew it was not all that bad
In my mind I have been the end of the world
In truth a flicker held against the universe and eternity unfurled
A candle not yet extinguished
My time not fully had
My piece of life is my own
Why am I in pain?
Because I want more than to give
Then in knowledge and wisdom these graceful angelic thoughts they came
And it was as if God wanted to tell me
It was all about what you could give
All along
All of your confusion and greed were for nothing
Trust me
Believe me in each moment of love
Believe in all time
Believe in me in that moment that you die
Apologize
You have seen my voice in the world
You have seen the seed and its beauty
Standing next to creation
Be humbled
You don't know me
But just know this
Have faith
Have faith
You can't change the past
Say hello and goodbye to these moments each
Your fear can save you and your fear can kill
Your courage can serve you or give you a false thrill
And I knelt, fell with my babble ending in my mouth
Quieted in my endless complaint and consternation
One day I will know I belonged
A citizen unique of this nation
Until then I give it up to the air
An angel gives only?
Then bring on this life
I will take the wings given