Dear Friends and Family,

This is a typical day for me, try to drag my dead butt out of bed and get moving
 so I feel like going to work. Go to work, put on my stage persona and off I go,
trying  to motivate and help, touch and make a teeny difference in
somebody's life every day. Then come home, think I will die on the one
hour drive home, come in the door to lots of doggie kisses and wagging
tales and excited  fur people wanting all of their Mommy's attention.
Go to bed and take a nap. Get up and fix dinner. Put away the
dishes and race to my computer to do one of the things I love best.
Communicate with the people who are important to me.



Today was not that typical day. I did drag up and go  to work. About
an hour after I arrived I went out into the courtyard which is the
smoking area to have a  cigarette with another nursing director and
the nurse recruiter from administration. I had been there about two
minutes when I was stung by a bee. I am very allergic to insect bites
and the like. In a matter of about 5 seconds, I was extremely
nauseated and dizzy. I was very confused about where I was and could
hardly talk due to the confusion.

I vaguely remember Joan, the nursing director of out- patient getting me to the
ER. I vaguely remember a lot of staff who work with me talking to me
and telling me to keep talking and breathing. Nothing hurt, not
when they said "BIG STICK" not at all, just the weirdest
feeling in the world. I vaguely remember the doctor being there and
asking me what I was allergic to as far as medications and I couldn't
remember, I felt such a long way off from them all. It was as if I
wasn't there and the person who looked like me couldn't feel anything.
Obviously, by now  you have figured out I had a severe allergic
reaction to this bee sting.

 After about 6hours of IV meds and IV solutions to get  my blood pressure
 up to normal, I was able to tell them how to get in touch with Al. He came
to get me and brought me home. I feel simply awful now, still dizzy, a
horrible headache and hoarsness....I am taking Benedryl
by mouth and am on steroid dose pack.

 The point of this letter is simple. Today I almost died. I didn't have time
to think about anything or anybody. I didn't have time to say another prayer
after I got to work. I didn't have time to make the teeniest
difference in a  positive way in anyone's life. I didn't even have
time to think about any of you one more time. Not anyone, not Al, not
my Shannon, not anybody or anything, I was just going away and I am
unable to describe the swiftness of how fast that was happening. I
wasn't afraid at all. I wasn't unafraid. I was just being taken away
and it was lightening fast.

So, before my time comes when I am not brought back and I continue on that
 journey I want each person that receives  this letter to know that you are a
special person to me, you hold a piece of my heart within your hand. I  treasure
you and I cherish you. Some of you are related to me by blood, some
are in-laws, some are dear good friends.  Some of you I have not even
met except online. Some of you I have the privilege of working with in
the same hospital. Some of you only know me casually, but, trust me,
if you weren't special to me, I wouldn't worry the heck out of you  with
the computer all the time.

 So, tonight, while I still can even though I feel really awful and have a headache
 that won't quit, am really hoarse due to the swelling in my bronchials and
feel like I have been hit by a freight train, I want to say Thank you
to all of you for sharing and caring with me. Thank you to all of you
who love me and who like me. Thank all of you who pray for me and my
daughter. Thank you all for putting up with me. Thank you for helping
shape me into the kind of human being I am. You are a part of me because
you are a part of my experience. Yet, you are a part of me because I
care about you and I love each of you and I choose to treasure you
just like toys or books that I chose to keep from my childhood, the
pictures of my mother and daddy who have been dead for so many, many
years. You all aren't a material thing for me to possess. You are
someone who has touched my heart my soul and I shall never forget what
you have done to make my life more beautiful, make me laugh, make me
contemplate, make me think, help me become closer to God. Thank you
for what you have given  me. May God always bless you dearly and may
the Angels always watch over you.

 With my heartfelt love, Peggy

August 2000

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