May 3, 2002
so i want to give a big shoutout to all of my friends. pretty
general, yeah. but i want to express my gratitude a little. ive thought
about this many times, and i realize ive been blessed with great friends
over the years. generous, kind, available, you name it, they were it. on
more than one occasion (probably every occasion) have they given more to
me than i have to them. im such a punk like that. most of the time, i dont
even remember birthdays. so i feel bad when they use their resources to
make me dinner or help or whatever because i dont reciprocate well. this
is the feeling i get moreso than just feeling selfish, because i want to,
but it seems like i have no avenue to do it. it seems to me that there
isnt much i can offer in the way of advice, other intangibles, or material
things. sucks for me, even more unfortunate for them, because for all the
time that ive spent with my friends, especially my closest, they had to
give more than receive. due to my inadequacy, i hope God will bless them
in even more abundance, because they really deserve it. and as my
relationship with God gets better, i will be a better, more loving friend.
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