February 13, 2002


today is valentine's day eve. tomorrow will be the day that couples from all over this country (is valentine's a worldwide thing? or has our american hegemony not extended in that area yet) will spend lots of money on each other to show each other how much they care about each other. meanwhile, every bachelor/ette will be sitting at home, or out with their friends, longing, wishing, praying for that guy/girl to come their way. of course im generalizing. not everyone feels this way. personally, i havent celebrated it since...5th grade, when everyone in our class had to make valentines for each other, well, girls for guys and vice versa. it woulda been kinda weird if guys made them for guys, with little candy hearts that said "be mine" or "kiss me" or whatnot. especially in ohio. probably would have gotten lynched for that sort of behavior. anyway, back to the subject. i havent celebrated it since 1989, and i dont miss it. havent missed it. not even once. but i think it's a good thing. nothing wrong with commemorating one of the most important things in our lives--a special, intimate bond that we share with one other person. considering how hard it is to find true friends, how much harder is it to find that one special person? pretty hard, i think (in my case for sure). but all the single people out there shouldnt be fretting if we dont have a special someone. i think it will happen in time...God's time. so there's nothing to worry.
how funny. or sad. i just looked through my archives, and noticed that my first ever thought was on feb 16, 2001. i wrote about the exact same thing, talking about elementary school and valentine's. maybe i'll end up writing the same thoughts again and again, every year. just like a pastor who recycles sermons. not to say im preaching.

so i submitted four resumes/cover letters on beartraks last night. pretty exciting. my first four beartraks resumes. i called my father afterwards, told him the companies so he could pray for them. he's praying that my job situation will be solidified by march or april. pretty bold, i think, considering i got nothing right now. but i should have a little more faith than that. God has provided for everything in my past, what's one more thing? and if he acts consistently with the past, he will make it a GREAT job, putting me in the perfect situation, as he always does. maybe not where i wanted to go, but in the place i need to be. that's what he does. how comforting.

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