October 29, 2001

October 29, 2001


I am now 23 years old. it doesnt feel different from being 22, which i was 18.5 hours ago. i never understood how people could say that they feel different on their birthday. i dont know. Anyway, since i have been alive now for 23 years to the day, i might as well do some introspection on my life. i know that i have been fortunate and blessed. the Lord has definitely been by my side always, allowing me to live in peace and comfort for the whole of my life. ive been blessed with a loving family, an early revelation of the gospel that was always nurtured, faithful Godly friends, and the list goes on. ive also grown some negatives that are pretty obvious (and some that are not as visible) that i have to work through, for the sake of my maturity and future success. im selfish, lazy, passive, uncaring, and most of the time too impatient. life would be perfect for me if everything was given to me on a silver platter, and any problems/issues i needed to solve had a quick, painless solution. that would be the life. but that's not the way it is, and i recognize that. im just saying it would be nice.
life wouldnt be much if i didnt have any problems, so im glad for them, in a way. because that means i have something to aspire to, that each day i can work to become better...and i know i have a long way to go. in the future, i can be more than what i am now. that's a good thing to look forward to. but at the same time, i cant do it alone. i know i need God's guidance and holy hand leading my way. without it, im sure i can easily turn into a bigger monster than i already am, even if i become generous, proactive, and patient. heh. then i could wrestle with my pride, which im sure would be even larger than today, bloated with my accomplishments of self-betterment.
so what do i wish for, on this day--as a young man (dont laugh) of twenty-three years. well...a girlfriend would be nice ;) but im working on that, sorta. trying to. but other than that, fuel in my heart to work hard. i seem to live from midterm to midterm, frantically cramming my brain with information so i can squeak by in my classes. those people who are disciplined and work hard daily i truly see as mature and grown--most of these people are younger than me. but they are admirable. so i wish for their fire to work day in and day out. but i want it to be a pure desire, not a selfish one. so ideal, isnt it. but it's MY wish and hope. and with God's lead, it will be my reality.

My Redeemer Is Faithful And True
written by James Isaac Elliott & Steven Curtis Chapman
From the recording: First Hand
Psalm 103:17

v1. As I look back on the road I've traveled
I see so many times He carried me through
And if there's one thing that I've learned in my life
My Redeemer is faithful and true
My Redeemer is faithful and true

chorus My Redeemer is faithful and true
Everything He has said He will do
And every morning His mercies are new
My Redeemer is faithful and true

v2. My heart rejoices when I read the promise
There is a place I am preparing for you
I know someday I'll see my Lord face to face
'Cause my Redeemer is faithful and true

chorus

bridge And in every situation He has proved His love to me
When I lack the understanding, He gives more grace to me

chorus

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