March 2, 2001
so we had FICB last night, and Pastor Eugene layed into us pretty
good. he put in a few jokes to keep it light, but it was a pretty
heavy, serious talk he gave last night. i really actually like it
when he brings one of these messages, because a reality check is a
good thing once in a while, if not quite often. also, not just a
reality check, but i like it when he gets visibly passionate when he
speaks, because usually he's pretty calm in demeanor, but he gets
worked up a bit when he does get passionate. and he always gets
passionate when he's imploring FICB to become better Xians. so
anyway he raises his voice a bit and he did not leave anyone out, i
don't think, when he was giving the message. he spoke to every
single person in the room. from talking to people after the message,
apparently i wasn't the only one who felt that he was speaking
directly to me. this was, i think, because PEug didn't refrain from
pointing out something that is common in every member of FICB--our
spiritual immaturity.
i know for sure that im guilty of this. the thing that struck me
most about yesterday's message was the second point PEug made about
not being transformed, that it's because some people just dont want
to be. i was thinking, "man, stop reading my mind, PEug. this is
embarrassing and shameful." this was the thought that came into my
mind when he stated the point. but as he went on, so did my shame.
he went on to describe my heart's weakness in front of all of
FICB--that so often, change doesnt happen in my life. Like the hard
ground that produces a plant for a moment, only to let it wither
soon after. this was, and is, my heart. being moved by a message,
saying how great it was, but not doing anything about it beyond
that. no second thought, a bunch of empty promises, a waste of
breath on a heartless prayer. yikes. ouch. so now that my dirty
laundry is aired out for all to see, what am i going to do about
it? i really really want to believe the desire for me is there. i
want to change, i really do. i want to live life as a good Xian,
one who is disciplined, who meditates day and night on the
Scriptures, who loves his fellow man like he loves the Lord. i
want to give up the things that hold my heart, the things that i
feel God wants to take away from me so i can be more devoted to
Him. but if i give these away, my fun will be gone from my life,
wont it? but God calls me to full service, no? to give up any and
all things. and He will not let me go, right? right? i sure
hope not, i know He wont. but i have to live my life too, no one
can live it for me. so what am i going to do about that? continue
on this path of lazy living? squandering my time?
nooo...discipline is everything, right eric? and that's what i
need, BAD. the order that God can bring. a change in me that God
works and will perfect.
Lord change my heart. Conform it to yours, no matter how much it
hurts. Make me want this. You bring value to my life. I pray that
I will be able to realize this, and live it like i realize and
understand it. discipline me to use every moment of my life,
Lord.
so what would a Peter's thought be without some songs to go along,
right? well, here they are. the first is one from steven curtis
chapman, one of my favorite musicians. the second is another
song from chris rice. like i said before, these songs i write in
my thoughts not just because i like them, but because the lyrics
speak to me. i really dig them. and i think they convey thoughts
i have, but do so in a more eloquent way than i ever could. so
here they are. i hope these songs will encourage you like they do
me.
The Change by Steven Curtis Chapman (from the
cd "Speechless")
2 Corinthians 5:17, 3:18
v1. well i got myself a t-shirt that says what i believe
i got letters on my bracelet taht serve as my ID
i got the necklace and a key chain
and almost everything a good Christian needs, yeah
i got the little Bible magnets on my refrigerator door
and a welcome mat to bless you before you walk across my
floor
i got a Jesus bumpersticker
and the outline of a fish stuck on my car
and even though this stuff's all well and good, yeah
i cannot help but ask myself
chorus. what about the change
what about the difference
what about the grace
what about forgiveness
what about a life that's showing
i'm undergoing the change, yeah
well i've got this way of thinking that comes so naturally
where i believe the whole world is revolving around me
and i got this way of living that i have to die to every
single day
because if God's Spirit lives inside of me, yeah
i'm gonna live life differently
chorus. i'm gonna have the change
i'm gonna have the difference
i'm gonna have the grace
i'm gonna have forgiveness
i'm gonna life a life that's showing
i'm undergoing the change
chorus. what about the change
what about the difference
what about the grace
what about forgiveness
i want to live a life that's showing
i'm undergoing the change
Life Means So Much by Chris Rice (from the cd
"Smell the Color 9")
v1. every day is a journal page
every man holds a quill and ink
and there's plenty of room for writing in
all we do and believe and think
so will you compose a curse
or will today bring the blessings
fill the page with rhyming verse
or some random sketchings
chorus. teach us to count the days
teach us to make the days count
lead us in better ways
somehow our souls forgot
life means so much
life means so much
life means so much
v2. every day is a bank account
and time is our currency
so no one's rich, nobody's poor
we get twenty-four hours each
so how are you gonna spend
will you invest or squander
try to get ahead
or help someone who's under
chorus
bridge. has anybody lived who knew the value of life
and didn't He give His own to show the worth of yours and mine?
chorus
life means so much
(every day is a gift, a gift we're livin'
make the most of your time every minute you're livin...)
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