February 20, 2001


hi everyone. i hope y'all had a great President's Day weekend. i had a pretty good time, though i didnt study as much as i should have (but then, when do i ever). anyway, i want to give a shout out to all the ladies in the senior class, for being such wonderful ladies and putting on a great Appreciation Night. Particular shout out here to Lillian and Alice for cleaning my stinkin' (literally) apartment, especially my corner of the room. dang, i cant believe u went there!! i dont even go there, and it's my own corner of the room. i bet that was as bad as the bathroom, huh? probably. anyway, that was quite nice in a wash-a-disciple's-foot sort of way. very much appreciated and blessed. thanks all.
oh yes, i would like to send out a few more shout outs. first, Mike Park. hey mike. whats up. stay cool. have a great summer. next, Liz Oh. i wanna hear u teach bible lessons. im sure you do a great job. finally, Jason Cha. get well and dont miss church on sunday. i have something for you too.
so i would like to add a little something to the thing i was talking about in my previous thought. i was listening to Caedmon's Call, an excellent band, who write marvelous lyrics. i think they are actually even for Calvin and predestination, if you can believe that, amongst the almost 100% non-Calvinist Christian musicians out there. anyway, so i was listening to a song by them, and i really feel this song, which is talking about temptation, sexual temptation in particular, and our sinful nature. Here's the song.

Potiphar's Door
music/lyrics by Derek Webb (the short bald guy in the band, he writes personal songs that are easy to identify with, especially his songs about relationships)

v1. when i was a little boy, i couldn't know the cost of going to war
when i counted 'em and walked that aisle, you know that i couldn't count that high
but now i can count that high
and i'm countin' 1, 2, 3, 4
i wanna fight this good fight no more

chorus. so im knockin' on Potiphar's door sayin'
"hey, on second thought, i might be in for some more"
so im knockin' on Potiphar's door
while the keeper of the keys and the knocker on the door says
"don't you live for what i died for"

v2. so i'm starin' through the window screen
wishin' i could do all those things i've seen
(i)know sin that leads to death but it looks like fun to me
and fun is the one thing i need
because this race has knocked the wind all out of me

chorus

bridge. there's so many things i wish i had done before i repented
and when i said, sometimes i wonder if i really meant it
i have this bad habit of raisin' the dead
flyin' in to eat at the table in my head
the old house it has been plundered, the deed has changed hands
the owner is all bound up and exiled to a foreign land

sometimes i'm knockin' on Potiphar's door sayin'
"hey, on second thought, i might be in for some more"
when im knockin' on Potiphar's door
then the keeper of the keys and the knocker on the door says
"don't you live for what i died for"

sorry if the lyrics were too long. the song is quite catchy as well as having good lyrics. if you ever come over to my newly clean apartment, you can hear it sometime. anyway, i just wanted to add that i very much feel like this honest song says at times, when sin is creeping up on me, and i can see it creeping...whether it be the pretty girl or anything else, sometimes i do say, i wish i could knock on Potiphar's door, and go back to his wife (being sin in general, not just fornication) instead of just running away like a good boy. i can empathize with Webb when he says he didnt know the cost of going to war, of being a Christian when he first accepted...because i sure didnt. the moment was great, and God was (and is) great, but after a while, i realized that i was dealing with the same sins as before, just that now i knew them to be sins. this bad habit of raisin' the dead gets me. sometimes i think im doing fine, having thought i conquered a sin, and suddenly, it's there...creeping up on me again. and the race is tough, and it wears me down, and sometimes i falter, because sin is enticing and hard to fight all the time...but the knocker on the door always reminds me of what He did on the cross, and reminds me of His grace that forgives. He's the owner now, the old is gone, bound, exiled. he's not coming back. so keep up the good fight, my brothers and sisters. we have victory, in Jesus, my (our) savior forever. He brought me (us) to victory, beneath the cleansing flood.

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