(for kate braverman)


kate it was 1979 & i read lithium
babygirl i was then just out of virginity one man
you tried to tell me then roundabout words falling out
all over pages met them one by one all your men, your lovers

later married, living in palm latitudes myself
book propped sandy with my husband at the beach
lying there desolation desperation desperately muted
lonely eggs washing away in red tides, summers

kate i sealed up like a chamber
drydead heart, drydead sex why didn�t he
why didn�t he get hard why didn�t he 1993
we had dogs, we had cats, full families, sportscars
no father�s day, no mother�s day
kate i didn�t have the strength
withering in the absence of love
withering without the questioning rod
poking hard up into my back
there was nothing only softness

the rod that says i love you, want up inside you
want you, own you, mine all mine, brand you
the kindest man the kindest man
who�d never stray why�d she stray why�d she stay
hunting down love under darkskies moons
cat on a hot tin roof in the night

kate i went in search of a rod
magic wand growing hard with just my glance
all i had to do was signal intent
kate why was it like this, not that
and i fucked that rod & it brought me to life
slid up and down screaming
lust breasts bouncing lips kisses coming
falling falling falling into
somebody else�s embrace
out of my bed out of my head tumbling
kate i fucked and sucked that rod
in the thousand positions i already knew about
like a man takes women when he wants
eyes crawling all over landscapes
wanting the babygirl breasts & bellies
kate you wrote me all about men & life
we took circuitous routes
but did they break us?
role reversals

what is marriage? not an untouched wasteland
not a man�s kingdom full of pets & objects
somebody pretty on your arm

kate i didn�t have the strength
withering in the absence of love
withering without the questioning rod
poking hard up into my back
there was nothing only softness


� 2004 by Valentina Bonnaire