it's that damn cat, hated it
& the movie & the story-
book

&

that's where she sits, luv
that's the mindset --

the kids are twits
the man of the house
is a lazy louse, & . . .

& what about this stupid house?

she's not sure
if this is where her place
should be & if & or--
it makes her think

& you know how you know
she's thinking about
the unknown & the unregulated,
the territorial feeling

the where's my keys?
why's this missing batteries? feeling?

the feeling her identity's
been left behind,
in bed, in dresser drawers

she looks (it never is)

& her feeling she's alone
with her tv
re-runs

which she can't recall
star trek & mash (so many more)

& her feeling that nothing
ever stays
still stays, still
creeps & crawls, as eyes
(not hers!) fill up
with weeps & tears

& she wants to speak
of love she does,
but won't because
he doesn't care,

& she sings to herself
do they ever care?

& she sings to herself
lucky lucky lucky girl & more

& she can't tell,
the telling is the naming, no?
& not worth telling
so she says,

& speaking
to herself (a favorite
conversationalist)

she says
the hell with it

& she knows
she's in & hell
(times 24)

&

she wisht it stopped
with sleep, but it don't


� 2004 by Tara Birch