Pacey's Journal, Entry Two
Friends. Isn't having friends supposed to be a good thing? These days it
seems like a curse to me. Staying Dawson's friend means not ever getting a
chance at possibly having Joey return these feelings, and the only way to
keep Joey in my life is to deny those feelings and just be friends. And
it's not even like we are friends right now. Me and Joey that is. I mean,
she asked me not to go on Dawson's little spring fling at his Aunt Gwen's.
If we were just friends, why would she want me to stay away? Granted I don't
really want to see Dawson and Joey bask in their magical childhood memories,
but I miss her. She's avoiding me like I'm the plague, and not seeing her is
killing me more than being near her and not being able to kiss her again.
Kissing Joey. It haunts me every day. The feel of her lips on mine, God,
why did I have to do that? Now I don't have to dream about what I am
missing. I know first hand what I am missing. And now there is this weird
uncomfortable tension between us. It's never going to be the same. I can't
turn back. I guess it's all or nothing now.
You know I think Mr. Broderick was right. I'm a natural at this acting
stuff. I would have to be to pull of a scene like I had with Joey in the
store. It was a mistake? An impulse that has left my body? I've never lied
so much in my life. Well in the same two minute span. Every word that left
my mouth was a lie. But I had to lie. I had to lie, so that there was
still the slim chance that me and Joey can still be friends.
Entry Three
