Assholes who visit the page once say its cool
I'm fucking tired of you asshoels who visit my page once.
Tell me its cool and interesting and then never visit again.
Fuck you. My webpage is not static, it changes at least once
a day, and I have been known to make up to 5 updates in a single
day. Shit there is some awesome stuff on this site and I do it
because I think it will make other people laugh, but if you only
come here once every blue moon why the hell should I do anything?
I love how I ended on a rhetorical question.
What if you had one huge nut?
What if you had one big ball? I mean one basketball size
and then one regular size nut, and then a regular sized penis?
Shit people would hella make fun of you. They'd laugh at the
size of your dick and you'd have to say no I just have big balls,
my penis is regular sized. But what if one of you nuts was a
football shape, and the other a basketball? Shit that would really
be trippy.
All people who talk in class should be Paki
Shit, Chris
and I were talking and we think that the only people who should
be allowed to talk alloud in class are the professor, and people
who have a deep pakistani or indian accent. Think About it, it
would be fucking hilarious. Also, those same people should be
required to teach sex education classes.
I love half-gallon milk containers
In case you didn't know Chocolate Milk is a food of the gods,
and its great in the half-gallon variety. The reason being if
you live in a dorm, and are the only one drinking the chocolate
milk. First, it isn't too big, so it wont spoil. Second, its
small and convienent enough to carry around. Last, it is easy
to drink from, the gallon is to hard to drink from the container.
I love albertsons and their half-gallons.
WHY CAN'T BEER COME LIKE THIS?
Girls who come to college with boyfriends back home
I am sick and tired of girls coming to college who have boyfriends
back home. Don't these women realize that there are guys at college
who want to hook-up with them? And there are guys in college
who are better than their boyfriends back home. I think when
college's do admissions they should have a question for females
and it should read: Do you have a boyfriend?, if the girl answers
yes they should only be allowed on extreme merit.
However, I am pissed at the amount of single guys. Shit can't
any of these men get a fucking girlfriend back home and be loyal.
Crap, I couldn't get a girlfriend back home that's why I came
to college, little did I know most of the others would come here
single as well. All men except me and my friends should be required
to have, maintain, and be faithful to girlfriends back home.
Thus increasing my chances of getting laid.
Screw serving Sizes
What the hell is with serving sizes posted on the side of
packages? I'm only supposed to eat a certain amount of chips,
or crackers, or whatever? B.S. it is supposed to represent the
average amount somwone eats. No one only eats 15 cheez-its you
eat a quater of the box. I need to be incharge of serving sizes
and i'll straiten this thing out.
Screw Penny Arcade
Penny Arcade is full of poo. They all have small testicles,
sweaty balls. Also, they have no Idea what a good movie is. They
Requiem For a Dream was a bad movie. Yet they then cited all
these other movies that have parts which are in Req. Well its
funny how to have all the aspects of Requiem the moron's at Penny
Arcade need to come up with 4 different movies, and these movies
all have just one aspect of Requiem's plot. If req. is such a
bad movie then why is it going to take 4 movies to see something
better. A movie which requires 4 other movies to descrive it,
must be a good movie.
The NFL is fake
I used to be somewhat of a big football fan, and now I just stay
intouch with the game. This is all because I have been awakened
to the truth. The NFL is fake. If it were real would it really
be possible for a single team to stay so strong as most of the
top teams have. The better a team does the lower their draft
position the next year. This should produce a more evenly distrubuted
amount of wins per team. If the NFL were real no teams would
go defeated or nearly undefeated. Why do all the play callers
have men in the booth, people on the field, with headsets? So
they can all tell each other what play they are going to do.
The play by the players may be real. But the actual game plans
are all planned and cordinated like the way pro-wrestling is.
Trust me. Why would I lie about something like this?
Chevy Avalanche
The Chevy Avalanche is the ugliest truck I have ever seen. Who
the fuck who buy something that looks that ugly. It is worse
than the whores I saw walking down the red light district in
Amsterdam. Or the whores that are in Tijuana. If you own a Chevy
Avalanche there is only one thing left for you to do. Go kill
yourself, and if you have had children kill them because I do
not want any of your genes in the gene pool.
Bill Clinton
After several talks with my friends and family, I have concluded
on why conservatives hate Bill Clinton so much. Firs it has to
do with how smart Clinton is. The guy has a photographic memory,
and he was a Rhodes scholar. Second, and this follows along the
lines of the first, Clinton is better than most conservatives.
Billy boy went to college got his J.D. (law degree) and was governor
and then President for two terms. You see the hatred of Bill
Clinton by the right wingers in our country is simply hatred
of themselves. They see in Clinton what they themselves will
never become; smart, president, lawyer, and they know only Clinton
picks up young interns.
DiabloII Map Hacks
Ok I am fucking pissed off at people who say map hacks are dumb.
Yeah I understand the purpose of randomly generated levels, but
fuck I do not want to role-play on DII I just want to level up.
Maybe if the whole game was role-played then maybe it would matter
if people map hacked, but since that is pipe dream greater than
6. I will use a map hack so I can level as fast as I can.
Drink Containers
Ok, I don't know about you, but for me I think all drinks should
come in a box, a pouch, or a can. I mean the two litter bottle
is ok. But, when you live on your own what do you do if you don't
drink soda that fast. It goes flat and you throw it away. The
only exception to this rule should be milk. Which should come
in the mad sexy bottles that the milk man used to bring. Only
milk should come in glass containers.
Fish or GHITIO
For all of you did not know you can spell FISH, GHITIO. now let
me
explain because i sense your inferior intelect may not comprend
this right
away. The GH is the "F" sound from enough. The I is
the "I" sound from
fishs' normal spelling. TIO is the "sh" sound, it is
derived from the tion
in such words are deception, or acception. obviously you see
that ghitio
is the correct spelling of fish.
Pringles
See pringles are the best type of chips. They come in a can,
which is awesome. Doritos, and Lays, and Ruffles all of these
chip brands come in a bag. And that would be fine, but assholes
all around stores pick up the bags, and set them down. During
the course of all this picking up and setting down you get massive
chip breakage, and this is not good. See since pringles come
in a can we get maximum chip breakage protection.
Why do some people hate homeosexuals?
Look if you hate homosexuals, and are very homophobic, and
you are a straight guy. Your a fucking moron. Look, the more
men that are homosexual the better your(heterosexual male reader)
and mine(the heterosexual writer) chances are at getting pussy.
The more straight men there are the bigger the competition pool
is to get laid. So anyone who hates gays, is really gay themselves
because they are just making it harder for a straight man to
get laid.
Why people love nuggets
Most people may not order chicken nuggets, but we all do love
to eat them. But why is that so? I feel we all love chicken nuggets
for the plain and simple reason of the boot nugget. You know
what I am talking about, the nugget that looks like a boot. This
nugget is what has the strangle hold over our desire to eat nuggets.
Think about it, the boot nugget is perfect for dipping, and it
has something with which we can relate other things to (the shape).
If MickeyD's ever gets rid of the Boot nugget, I suppose they
will never sell nuggets.
Why can't I get a hot chick as a girlfriend?
I have been doing some deep thinking, and I must ask why I can't
get a hot nympho girlfriend? I mean I do all the right things,
listen to jazz, wear dark clothing, and I try to be humorus.
However, maybe I fail at these things more than I succed. Which
must be why I don't have a hot girlfriend. It is either that,
or its because I am fat. I even follow the tao of steve.
