| So you've discovered paganism and you really want to practice, but you live in the middle of nowhere, there are no companions for your journey, and you might get tarred and feathered if you ask around too loudly. Well, there is a viable option open to you: solitary practice. Reasons for solitary practice are many and varied. Maybe you tried tying into your local community and just didn't find a good fit, maybe the politics were too heavy (it happens), or maybe you just wanted a different approach. Maybe you are already involved in a working group, coven or are involved with a teacher and want to add depth to your group practice. Whatever the reason, here you are. I, personally, started studying at an early age and practiced solitary for fourteen years before I decided to attempt to work with other pagans. I lived in the middle of nowhere and could have been tarred and feathered in the predominantly catholic community I grew up in. I stayed quiet and read a lot, hoping that one day I would find a community to work with, and I would be ready to be a productive member of it. I worried a lot about the validity of what I was doing, I had no one to guide me and put off actual formal ritual practice for a couple of years. Yes, there are some traditionalists who still say that you aren't a witch (pagan, whatever) unless someone else initiates you into the mysteries. However, I found that when I did locate a pagan community, I was very much technically qualified to participate. Energetically, (relating to how well one notices and works with the energy aspects within ritual theater) I was also qualified to participate (I guess the paranoia paid off), but not to lead. I no longer question the validity of my solitary experience. Generally speaking, I found that compared to the traditionally taught practitioners whom I've met, that I have a broader breath of actual study, I am just as dedicated (in some cases more so) in my personal workings, and I am more flexible in my technique and outlook. On the other hand, I am weak in presenting (but not writing) ritual theater, working with a qualified partner and have the tendency to be unfocused and indecisive when attempting to relate and work with my new playmates (who are traditionalists, and tend to forget that I did not grow up in their tradition). If you plan to be solitary till the end of time, solitary practice can be every bit as satisfying and is as valid as any other practice; but there are some skills that won't be covered in your education (i.e. working with a partner, handling the energy of large groups etc.). Solitary Learning Solitary practice requires that you be brutally honest with yourself for there is no one else there to point out your issues. It is important to develop meditation skills and to learn to be introspective without being judgmental. Be firm, but gentle with yourself. Know your limitations, it is unwise and may be dangerous to attempt more advanced magical workings if you have yet to master the basics. Journaling is indispensable as it is the only way to develop perspective on your own. Remember that this is a spiritual practice designed to increase your own understanding of who you really are, and to facilitate the process of becoming more of who you are (developing your "true will", this part is about intentional action). Listen to that little voice inside you, your inner teacher. If that voice is uncomfortable with a technique or concept, make note of it and move on. Maybe you are just not ready for it yet and with persistence you will be. Uncomfortability is an indication of your personal boundaries and the benchmark of areas in which you should dig, going deeper inside for healing and growth. Keep in mind that just because a concept or experience is outside the realm of your personal experience, or someone else's for that matter, doesn't mean it isn't valid. Some things we may never understand completely, but we must honor and respect them. It is the little voice inside that really takes time and trust in yourself to listen to. Your response to the energies around you is unique, individual. People will talk about having incredible visions, hearing the voice of the Gods, or seeing something about someone in their aura. Don't be discouraged if your perceptions don't seem as direct or vivid. I perceive the energies deep within myself. I had to develop the skill of knowing what parts of what I would perceive as me were really my empathic knowing of external stimuli. It is important in solitary (in really any) practice to take the time to commune with your divine source(s) and pay attention. Daily devotionals are useful, communing with nature should not be neglected. Make a point of spending time out of doors regularly. Experiencing nature can teach you all sorts of wonderful things (energy flow, elemental and nature energies, surrender etc.) and can be a major source of spiritual renewal. It is important to take time and really listen to the energy around you. A lot of what folks call magic is really about knowing when the right time is to do something. Listen and surrender to the cosmic flow a little and watch what happens! When you surrender, you allow the universe to drop what you need into your lap through amazing sets of coincidence you wouldn't usually be open to. There is such a thing as over controlling... allow and open. Finding material to work with (books etc.) is no longer much of a challenge. There are a lot of occult book stores these days and the larger commercial chains often have reasonable metaphysical sections. Used book stores are a veritable gold mine for cheap new and used books, calendars and tarot decks. There are several professional, glossy magazines widely available and more information than you can process exists on the world wide web. Do not neglect sources outside of the occult/metaphysical/new age sections. Several useful topics to study are: time management, goal setting skills, personality profiling etc., and fall under other headings. Use the library or on-line resources to root out information where ever you can find it. Do not limit yourself. Some of the best information I've seen on understanding interpersonal communication has been in books written on motivation, sales, marketing and customer service for business. The mundane world has been discovering and repackaging standard pagan technology for some time now, it's everywhere, so don't get to hung up on semantics. Just as the Great Goddess has been known by many names, so to are the techniques and concepts we use in our spiritual practices known by many different titles. The information gained through your research will fall into two broad categories: form and essence. Information on form is presented in the manner of specific words for specific rites, many of which come from specific traditions. In my working group we have a saying: if we do it twice, it's a tradition. Form will naturally evolve and change for you as a solitary practitioner as you become more defined in self and develop your own traditions. Information regarding essence is presented as the reasons things are done in a specific manner or the reason why we do things at all. It is good to be able to distinguish the difference between form and essence when contemplating your research in order for you to fill in information that is not readily apparent. I have made a habit of asking myself, "Why?" when presented with imperatives (do this, do that) in my reading material, and have come to the conclusion that the essence of information presented in books available on specific traditions in paganism, is the same even though the form will vary. I have come closer to my own spiritual essence in discovering these common truths through comparative studies and feeling the inner ring of rightness within me. You will find precious nuggets of information in any material you study if you keep an open mind, listen to your inner voice, and weed the essence of truth from forms you may find personally repugnant. Solitary Practice Another division that can be drawn on the same level as form and essence is science and spirituality. It is possible to practice the science or the craft aspect of paganism without practicing nature based spirituality. This is a common pitfall for many solitary practitioners, especially if they have been traumatized by their previous religious experience. It can be very liberating to consciously give oneself permission to heal these old wounds and re-experience the divine in a new way. If you are feeling awkward or rigid while performing your rituals, release your resistance by giving yourself permission to interact with deity in joy and playfulness. Trust yourself: if you feel that giddy playfulness is your response to the energy -- then be giddy and playful. There is no one, true and correct path; there is only the most appropriate path for you. The only way to discover what that path is, is to feel your way through it during actual practice. When deciding on what form my personal ritual would take, I was very uncomfortable using words, rituals and ritual practices that I felt I did not understand or could not see the essence of. I still am. In the process of my work, I learned all sorts of important lessons about why things are sometimes done the way they are (groan, ouch!). Be careful about what traditional practices you choose to discard. You may not understand why everything is done the way it is in the beginning. It comes with practice. I still feel the same way about not using words and languages that I don't understand, but when I'm learning someone's system (from a book or a person), I ask a lot of questions and use the system until I feel I know enough about it before I modify it. It is great to read, think and reflect, but there is no substitute for practice. I can not stress enough the importance of performing ritual along with one's studies. Ritual allows you to move the energy of your studies from a strictly intellectual process into a physical and emotional process as well. Have you ever known that you were repeating a pattern or practice that was disharmonious with the rest of your life? You knew it was the wrong response but were unable or did not know how to change it, and so, kept on doing the same old thing. Intellectually you knew better, but could not (or would not) move the energy from your head to your heart and body. This is what ritual does best, embody a concept, idea or practice, bringing it to a state of wholeness and fruition. There is a common saying in paganism; "Your word is your wand", meaning that your own, personal magic is only as strong as the potency of your will. Your will is potent when you "walk your talk" or fulfill on the physical plane those things that you say you will. If you only want to read about mystical practices, then say so; if you want to be a practitioner you must also do the work of living your spiritual values. Ritual or ceremony in solitary practice can be just as ornate or simple as group work, the main difference being an ease of co-ordination and focus. It can be difficult to bring a group into focus; energy generation and control can be more formal. In solitary practice, well... to put it simply, you know what you want before you step into ritual space and need not communicate it to a bunch of other people before you move the energy. It is always wise to make sure to spend some time in renewing your focus, but it need not be elaborate or time consuming, only fulfilling. Another notable difference is the level of intimacy of the work being performed. Members of a group may work together for months and not develop the intimacy between participants that is necessary for personal, core work. Solitary practitioners are limited only in their ability to be honestly introspective and diligent. It is very difficult to be intimate and honest with the rest of the world if you can't be intimate and honest with yourself. How can you present truth to others if it is too painful for you to know? How can you become more of who you really are if you will not look at both the positive and negative aspects of yourself? Solitary mystical practice can be difficult because of the high level of personal discipline that is required. If you find yourself feeling stagnant it is generally because you let something stop you. Keep pushing your own envelope, for soon you will find yourself with many possible directions in which to flow. Finding Community Community interaction may not be all that important to you now, but at some point you might get lonely and want company or conversation. Reach out through resources like magazines, the web and local shops, but be very careful about who you actually meet and/or talk to. Remember that there are a lot of flaky, weird and sometimes scary people who gravitate to this subculture, be careful. If you are blessed with a locally owned occult book store, it is wise to support it even if you end up paying a little more for your merchandise. Locally owned shops are wonderful sources of workshops, divination readings, energy workers, and webweaving (networking) sources. Look at the bulletin board and free information flyers. There are a number of umbrella organizations (groups of solitary pagans, teaching covens, groves and circles who operate to provide a place for community) sprouting up all over the place. If you have a Universalist Unitarian church in your area, contact them about CUUPs, the Covenant of Universalist Unitarian Pagans. CUUPs has an umbrella organization feel, although it is specifically a splinter group of the UU organization. When entering into someone else's community there are a few things to keep in mind. It is possible to maintain your solitary practice and include limited involvement with the greater pagan community. If you are extremely sensitive to energy or consider yourself extremely empathic, be aware that the energy of groups may feel overwhelming. Look for basic grounding, shielding, or banishing rituals and practice them regularly until you reflexively guard yourself in these situations. Semantics will vary. Differing traditions use alternative language to describe their version of energy manipulation. This is the "form vs. essence" argument again. Try to keep in mind that even a 100th Degree High Mukety Muck might not know exactly what you are talking about if there is no common vernacular. Until there is a pagan version of Webster, it is better to assume this lack of precision in communication. The flip side of this problem came into play for me when I first started working with my aforementioned traditionalist playmates. Often, I would be asked to participate in a specific facet of a working. Further dialogue with the requester about the essence and form of that facet would reveal that they expected an enhanced version of a basic rite. I have come to realize that when discussing a working, I focus on essence. Because of my very eclectic studies, I begin to review a wide pallet of possible forms compiled from a variety of traditions. I then start to weed through them on the basis of function and feasibility, choosing a high or low theatrical format rooted in the needs of the ritual participants. My traditionalist friends also taylor ritual to individual needs, but seem to start with a base from their own tradition. Both approaches have positive and negative attributes however, neither approach is better. It is purely a matter of perspective. Etiquette will vary. No spitting in the chalice or chanting "Chug!" while it is passed, unless this is obviously standard operating procedure. I still won't, I find it disrespectful. If you are uncomfortable with what is happening in a ritual, don't participate or limit your participation to what you are comfortable with. Whatever your do, don't assume the motives of the ritual participants, leaders or writers. Ask questions, it might not be as bad as you think, it might be worse, but you won't learn anything without further investigation. Be respectful of the beliefs and traditions of those participating and of the time, energy, and patience of your hosts. Bring a hostess gift, a dish to pass, materials for the working, or put money into the donation basket (if there is one), whatever is most appropriate. Be responsible for yourself by researching the event you are going to and making decisions about your involvement prior to showing up. If you find yourself spontaneously involved in a ceremony (it happens), be responsible for your level, or lack, of participation -- make your own choices. It is worth noting that attitude plays a tremendous part in whether or not a group ritual will work for you. As with many things, you will get out of ritual what you put into it. Approach group ritual with a cruddy attitude (close minded, judgmental of form) and most likely, that is what you will get out of it -- crud. If, however, you choose to enter into ritual with an air of open mindfulness, no matter how abominable the rite, you can still come away with something worthwhile -- even if it is only the self enpowerment of walking out when you choose to. Following a solitary path requires the honesty and gentleness to "push your own buttons" and know your limitations, the courage to practice, the persistence to ferret out bits of arcane lore, and the grace to surrender -- to allow the universe to work with you. It is good to remember one other thing as well, paganism is a path of union, of connection to yourself, nature and the divine source of the All. If you are truly practicing, you are never really alone. |
Solitary Mystical Practice |
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| -- by Cybele WindDancer |
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