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Rule #1 We are one, all separation is illusion. Even though illusion is seductive, it is best to live in reality. Rule #2 Never assume that your reality resembles anyone else's, so be polite. Never assume that anyone else realizes it, so be patient. Most folk are actually trying to do the best that they can - give them the benefit of the doubt. Never assume that the reality you are experiencing is your own. Everyone's reality is valid, accept the paradox. You are both infinite and finite. Find out where this is applicable for you and honor it. Once you find out what your boundaries and limitations are, push them. Momma says: "Push against the pain". The mere act of communication is miraculous. Be intentional about your interface. Some folk don't respond well to honesty, politeness or patience. Often one needs to decide if the effort is really worth it. Everyone is an individual, with his or her own, unique motivations. Don't fall in love with illusion. If it isn't manifest it is illusion. You will not 'click' with everyone, and everyone will not 'click' with you. Likewise, there will be some folk that you definitely 'click' with. Rule #3 Just because it is not in your reality, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Everyone is allowed to be different, in fact you should expect it. Most of the time, it doesn't even matter if it doesn't exist - you still have to deal with it like it is real anyway. It is most unlikely that anyone can forcefully effect long term change in anyone else without his or her consent and co-operation. Never confuse humility with invalidating your own needs and wants. Bad, bad, bad. Rule #4 Capture all the data. Never assume you know what reality is, the only constant is change. Stagnation in all its forms is not healthy. Gypsies bathe in running water. Never settle. You get what you settle for. Sometimes, things are allowed to be just 'good enough'. You are only as limited as you choose to be. Always consider the source. Rule #5 Never hurry. (OK, so this is really one of Heinlein's) Remove unrealistic language from your speech and thought like: always, forever, never, have to and can't, unless you use them with qualifiers. There will always be more work to do. When the time is right, the energy will shift - and not before. It is difficult to be successful trying to 'force' things, most often you just muddle up the dynamic tension. No one can make you choose before you are ready to. Don't make any major life changing decisions while experiencing major energetic trauma of any sort, if it can be avoided. Bad, bad, bad. Create distance, ground, center and reorient to reality first. Choose healthy paths to run in, when there is no other option than to run. Rule #6 Choose. Live in right relation - it can be very painful otherwise. Be responsible for yourself. The only real 'power' that exists is the power to choose your course of action (or lack of one). You are expected to and responsible for developing and having a life of your own. If you fail to do so, it limits your options for healthy interfacing with others. Yes, not only can you do this, but also you are supposed to, and really need to, in order to be healthy. Do not shirk your own personal growth. Often the quickest way out of something is to go through it. Avoidance only draws out the pain. See Rule#2. When you infantilise people, you only get infants. It is not your job to 'fix' or 'save' anyone and you can cheat folk right out of their own growth process that way. Decide how much baggage you can really handle half or quarter that amount to arrive at a healthy amount of dynamic tension. Release, release, release! If you truly want something, in order to get it you've got to go out, hunt it down, drag it back to your cave and consume it. But first you need to think; find out where it lives, how to hunt it, and if you really want to consume it. Don't dibble, give things time and a real chance to manifest. If your form is not true to your essence, you are dibbling. Your mind hears and believes everything that your mouth says, so watch your mouth. Your word is your wand, this is a consensual reality. If you feed it, it will grow, so be careful what you feed. When your choice is between the lessor of two evils, opt for something else. Potential is limitless. Expect to fuck up (a lot, actually), and forgive yourself when you do. The best one can do is to strive. Do not dwell on the wrongness in the world, there is too much of it and it can overwhelm you. Instead focus on manifesting more rightness in your own life. Rightness starts with the individual and spreads from there -- just like wrongness. Fortunately, rightness does spread just about as well as wrongness. Play your own game. You can only be who you are, not what anyone else thinks that you are. Sensei says, "Bring excess to insufficiency to bring balance". Most empaths aren't in their bodies enough. Find ways of being there more and not only will you stay more centered, it actually increases and supports other ways of knowing. Buddha says, "The root of all suffering is unmet expectation". You can only trust people to be themselves. The state to strive for is being in dynamic harmony with those you work and interact with. |
| Da' Rules for Empaths; Orienting Yourself in Reality |
| -- by Cybele WindDancer |
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