haha

"War doesn't determine who's Right. War determines who's Left"
"It takes many nails to build crib, But one screw t fill it"
"Passionate kiss like spider's web soon lead to undoing of fly"
"Virginity like bubble. One Prick-all gone!"
"Man who run in front of car gets tired"
"Man who run behind car get exhausted"
"Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day"
"Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok"
"Man with one chopstick go hungry"
"Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails"
"Man who eat many prunes get good run for money"
"Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot Walk!"
"Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find in cathouse"
"Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by night"
"Man who fights with wife all day, get no piece at night!"
"Man who tell to many lightbulb jokes soon burn out"
"Man who drive like Hell, Bound to get there!"
"Man who sit on tack get point"
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!"
"Man who live in glass house should change in basemenf"
"He who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs"
"Man who farts in church sits in own pew"
"Man who jumps from tall building, jumps to conclusion"

Some people just have to much time on there hands
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly worth it)
If you fart constantly for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to creat the energy of an atomic bomb. (now that's more like it)
A pig's Orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (IN MY NEXT LIFE I WANT TO BE A PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!)
(How'd they figure this out, and why?)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(still can't get over that pig thing)
(Don't try this at home, Maybe at work?)
Humans adn Dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(Is that why flipper was alwayz smiling?)
(And pigs get a 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair)
The strongest muscle in our body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmmmmm........)
Right-handed peoplelive, on average, nine years longer then left-handed people do.
(Could suck to be a south paw)
(If you are ambidextrous do you split the diffrence?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight adn alwayz falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
(From drinking little bottles of...?)
(Did taxpayers pay for this research?)
Polar bears are left handed.
(Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find that out, ask them?)
Polar bears skin is black and there fur is clear
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)
The Flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine? And why pigs?)
A cockroach will live nine days with out it's head, before it starves to death.
(Creepy)
(In an atomic blast the roach would be the onlything that would servive the radiation, well them n Cher)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the....)
(Well, at least pigs get a break there...)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(in my next life I still want to be a pig... quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Oh, geez)
(That's almost as bad as catfish)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some peopel like that too.)
After reading all these, all I can say is.............Lucky Pigs...