“The Way It Was Supposed To Be” Or “The Pirates of the Rings: Reloaded”
(beginning credit movie: bits and clips of reasons why we told the jokes the way we did. Clips of Ian McKellen being homosexual, as well as clips of the actors in many other movies)
(Movie begins with the scene where it appears that several invitations are being sent out to a majority of the movie stars that were in the actual three movies. Their faces are never seen, but hints such as showing their hands, feet, name places or addresses, or people calling out their names can be hints)
(The Meeting)
(Scene changes to a white room with a black turned off T.V. sitting on a black cart with a black VCR sitting underneath it. A man in a black suit walks from the left side of the room out to the TV and stands to the left of it facing the audience.)
Man: Welcome. (Very monotone and expressionless) The reason why you have been invited here today is so you can be informed of the coming future. Confused? I have expected that. Just sit back, relax and turn your attention toward this television here. (Guestures with his left hand and then reaches for a tape from out of nowhere and holds up the tape) What I have here is the key, (turns on the television) Do not be afraid, you will understand very soon. Before I begin, I must explain this: (presses onto his ear piece at random moments while talking)
The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the Earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was is lost. For none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the great rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf lords, great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who above all else, desire power. For within these rings was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master ring, to control all others. And into this Ring, he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. "One Ring to rule them all."
(Inserts tape and sudden static is shown)
(Changes to full screen and movie begins)
(Out on the ocean)
Jack’s Crew: (singing) Yo-ho-yo-ho, a pirate’s life for me!
Jack: And really bad eggs!
Jack’s Crew: (laugh and randomly shout “aye-aye” and clank bottles of rum together, as well as randomly gulp down the rum)
Jack: (Walks out from the right side to the edge of the boat to look out over the sea. He then slowly arches a brow as he spots land ahead. He mumbles a bit to the song, takes a swig of rum) (yells out) Prepare to drop anchor!
Jack’s Crew: (shout aye-aye again and scramble drunkenly around the deck)
Barbosa: (comes to Jack’s side) This isn’t Tortuga… (looks at Jack suspiciously) The crew might be too drunk to notice this, but once their minds clear they aren’t going to be too happy.
Jack: (looks at Barbosa from the corner of his eye)
Barbosa: The crew is restless, they want to go back home. We’re all tired of your adventurous streak.
Jack: (looks out at the ocean again, taking another swig of rum) What are you to me, Barbosa?
Barbosa: (seems surprised) I-I’m your first mate Sir.
Jack: Good, I’d almost thought you forgot it.
(Meanwhile)
(Aragorn leads the four Hobbits to Rivendell)
Merry: How do we know this Strider is a friend of Gandalf?
Frodo: We have no choice but to trust him…
Sam: But where is he leadin’ us?
Aragorn: (Yells out) To Rivendell, Master Gamgee, to the House of Elrond. Merry: Quite the shady folk, ain’t he?
Sam: Aye, that’s why I called him Longshanks.
Aragorn: (suddenly stops walking and turns around to face them) Look, I thought that once I answered your question back there that you would get the hint that (yells, angered) I could hear everything you’re saying!! (looks quite frustrated) I was away from you Hobbits only a few meters! (points with an over exaggeration, then he calms down a bit as if he’s remembering relaxation techniques) Now, don’t fall far behind.
(change to Matrix, with Neo and Morpheus in the Matrix)
Neo: (looking at his hands) Woa… I know kung-fu!
Morpheus: (looks annoyed) Yeah, I know, Neo. You’ve said it many times already.
Neo: Yeah, but doesn’t it just sound so cool when I say it?!
Morpheus: (rolls his eyes)
Neo: (reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Barbie doll that looks quite similar to Trinity) Trinity… You’ll be here soon my love. (pets the doll longingly)
Morpheus: (glances over at Neo slightly, then looks back over at him with widened eyes) My GOD Neo! That isn’t –
Neo: (cuts him off) Trinity yes! (seems overjoyed) She is here, with me, always.
Morpheus: (gives him a sympathetic look) Neo… She’s –
Neo: (cuts him off again) Don’t you dare say it!
Morpheus: (continues) Dead.
Neo: (yells out) Noooo! (scene fades to when Trinity died)
Trinity: You’ve always been my love. I’ve never given up on you… Never. I love you more than anything, my love. I love you and always will…
Neo: (looks as if he’s fallen asleep)
Trinity: Neo? My love…?
Neo: (jumps up and looks at her, surprised) Oh! Was I sleeping?!
Trinity: You were sleeping?! (seems angered)
Neo: Well, good God woman, write me a book and call it a best seller! Tell me you love me and die already!
Trinity: I-I love you… (dies)
Neo: (smirks) About time…
(changes back to Neo and Morpheus)
Neo: (crying, clutching the doll to his chest) Noooo! I take it all back! (cries out) Trinity!
Morpheus: (rubs his temples and sighs deeply)
(scene changes back to The Lord of the Rings, where the four Hobbits and Strider are at Weathertop)
Frodo: (has a bit of a nap, then he awakens. He then widens his eyes and runs into the house that he was sleeping next to and into the kitchen to only find Merry, Samwise, and Pippin cooking food on the stove)
Merry: Want a tomato Sam?
Frodo: What are you doing?!
Merry: Tomatoes, sausages, and nice crispy bacon!
Sam: We saved some for you Mister Frodo.
Frodo: Put it out you fools, put it out!
Merry: Oh, alright… (reaches towards the stove and turns a knob on the stove, turning it off)
Pippin: Well, that's nice - you got ash in my tomatoes!
Merry: (gives a weird look at Pippin) What…?
(The Nazgul scream)
(Suddenly, a Nazgul cry pierces the darkness.)
The hobbits: (jump up, startled, and look over the lip of the hollow. They see five Nazgul closing in on Weathertop. They unsheathe their small swords)
All: Uh?!
Frodo: (motions the others to run up the steps, towards the ruins) Go!
(At the top, the Nazgul surrounds them, pulling out their long swords. Sam, Merry and Pippin prepare to defend of Frodo)
Sam: (brandishing his sword) Back you demons!
Merry: (clears his throat) Uh… Sam, its devils, not demons.
Sam: Oh yes… Back you devils! (Sam clashes swords with the Nazgul, but is swiftly thrown aside.)
(Merry and Pippin close the gap in front of Frodo, but they too are cast aside.)
Frodo: (backs across the hill, dropping his sword with a clatter. He stumbles, falls, and crawls backward until he is backed against a fallen column. Frodo brings out the Ring from his pocket)
Witch King: (feels its presence and approaches Frodo, drawing a long dagger.)
Frodo: (tries to scramble back, terrified, but has nowhere to go. Desperately, he slips on the Ring)
(The world changes. The Nazguls’ true forms are revealed to him, shining like ghostly kings.)
Witch King: (reaches out for the Ring, and the Ring responds, lifting Frodo’s own hand towards the wraith.)
Frodo: (With desperate strength, he yanks his hand back.)
Witch King: (looks surprised, then stabs him through the left shoulder with his long dagger, pinning him to the ground, then reaches again for the Ring.)
Frodo: (cries out in pain)
Strider: (leaps over Frodo and attacks the Nazgul with both sword and flaming brand.)
Witch King: (withdraws his dagger and drops it)
Frodo: (summons the strength to pull the Ring from his finger. He reappears in the middle of an anguished scream)
Frodo: Aaaahhhh! Sam: Frodo! (rushes to his side)
Frodo: Oh Sam!
Strider: (continues to fight the Nazgul, parrying with his sword and attacking with the torch. He sets them afire and finally drives them away)
Sam: Strider! Help him Strider.
Strider: He’s been stabbed by a Morgul blade. (blade dissolves in the wind) Well, that was a nice trick… This is beyond my skill to heal, because I am only a weak mortal man. And, you see, there’s this hot Elvish chick at Rivendell. She’s mine, so don’t you dare hit on her. So that is why we go to Rivendell, Frodo needs Elvish medicine.
Four Hobbits: (look confused)
(Strider carries Frodo over his shoulder and proceeds to leave Weathertop, the other hobbits following closely behind them. Nazgul cries are still heard in the area)
Strider: Hurry! (mumbles at how slow the Hobbits are)
Sam: We are six days from Rivendell. He’ll never make it!
Strider: Isn’t he your friend? You have to have hope for him, Master Gamgee.
Frodo: (whispering) Gandalf...
Strider: Hold on Frodo.
Frodo: (cries out) ...Gandalf!!!!
Sam: (looks hurt that Frodo said Gandalf and not Samwise) Well why did he say that?
Strider: Gandalf’s a perv, so hell if I know!
(Scene goes back to Strider and the Hobbits at the Trollshaws. Frodo is delirious)
Pippin: Frodo… You look messed up!
Frodo: (wheezes)
Sam: Mr. Frodo? (to Strider) He’s going cold!
Merry: Hold on… Did we just skip a scene…?
Strider: Yeah, the writers are just too lazy to put it in.
Pippin: Is he going to die?
Strider: He’s passing into the shadow world. He will soon become a wraith like them.
Frodo: (gasps. The Nazgul cry is heard from a distance)
Merry: They’re close.
Strider: Sam, do you know Athelas plant?
Sam: Athelas?
Strider: Errr… Kingsfoil!
Sam: Kingsfoil- aye, that's a weed.
Pippin: (winks, making a big smile) Aye!
Strider: It may help to slow the poison. Hurry, may your short Hobbit legs never fail you! (goes off and finds a small patch and proceeds to collect it. Suddenly a sword is at his throat.)
Arwen: What’s this? A ranger caught off his guard? (looks at him, tilting her head to the right some) You need a shave…
Strider: (laughs uncomfortably) Ah-ha, Arwen…
Arwen: You’re lucky I haven’t foreseen you cheating on me.
Strider: (places a finger on the blade of her sword trying to push it away, but can’t seem to move it a single centimeter)
Arwen: But I do know of a mortal woman in Rohan… Stray but a little from me and I shall show you the true meaning of mortality.
Strider: (stands up and smiles) Yes, of course my love.
(Back to the Hobbits)
Frodo: (lying on the ground, senses a white light nearing him. He turns towards it)
Pippin: (not seen) Froodoo… Don’t go into the light…
(smack is heard) Pippin: (not seen) Ow!
Frodo: (thinking) A-Am I in Heaven? Have I died...?
Arwen: (appears)
Frodo: (thinking) (gasps) It’s an angel! I have died!
Arwen: Frodo.... Im Arwen. Telin le thaed (Frodo, I am Arwen. I come to help you.) Lasto beth nîn. Tolo dan na ngalad (Listen to my word. Come back to the light)
Frodo: (thinking, and seems really disappointed) Oh… Damn…
(Changes to Matrix)
Neo: (sits on his bed, staring at his Trinity doll)
Morpheus: (knocks on the door and when he receives no response he walks in) Neo-
Neo: Shhh! Don’t interrupt my Trinity! She was talking!
Morpheus: (blinks, then sighs)
Neo: (bursts out laughing) Trinity! That was the best joke!
Morpheus: (mumbles) My God…
Neo: Morpheus! You’re not laughing!
Morpheus: Ha-ha… (forces a smile and it is obvious that he does so)
Neo: (smiles) Okay, now what was it you wanted to talk about? Trinity is ready to listen also!
Morpheus: Oh yes, We’ve found a new sector of the matrix. Two actually, but they’re blending together.
Neo: And…?
Morpheus: And we need to go into the matrix and find out what’s happening. We need to go before Agent Smith finds these places as well.
Neo: (stands up) Alright!
Morpheus: Oh, and Trinity can’t come.
Neo: (gasps, holding onto the doll) But why?!
Morpheus: Ahh… She might get hurt…
Neo: I’ll protect her like I always do!
(scene change to Lord of the Rings, when Frodo dreams and awakens at Rivendell)
Frodo: (runs through a forest, breathing fast, then comes upon a stream and sees a fair maiden) Oh! You, you must help me, my friends they’ve been trapped inside an old willow tree. Please, maiden fair, help me.
Goldberry: (smiles) I cannot help you, for I am but only a river spirit.
Tom Bombadil: (from afar) (singing) Hey! Come derry doll! Hop along, my hearties! Hobbits! Ponies all! We are fond of parties! Now let the fun begin! Let us sing together!
Frodo: (afraid) Who is that?!
Goldberry: Why it is he who will save you.
(suddenly it goes black and cold)
Frodo: (Becomes even more afraid) Sam?! Merry?! Pippin?! Anyone?!
(It becomes lighter, but foggy)
Frodo: (looks around, then looks down) What?! I’m naked?!
Tom Bombadil: (appears, too happy)
Frodo: Ah! (tries to cover himself up)
Tom Bombadil: You’ve found yourselves again, out of the deep water. Clothes are but little loss, if you escape from drowning. Be glad, my merry friends, and let the sunlight now heat the heart and limb! Cast off these cold rags! Run naked on the grass while Tom goes a-hunting!
(suddenly Pippin, Merry, and Sam appear around Frodo and they run through a field. The birds are singing, the sun is shining, everything is happy, during this moment you can see Gandalf looking through binoculars at the four Hobbits)
Frodo: (waking suddenly and looks around, then at Gandalf) Where am I?
Gandalf: You are in the house of Elrond. And it is 10 o’clock in the morning, on October the 24th if you want to know. It’s quite cool outside, a breeze and partly cloudy. (trails off mumbling things about the day)
Frodo (sitting up): Gandalf! (it suddenly hits him and he moves back a bit) You’re… here...?
Gandalf: Yes...I’m here. And you're lucky to be here too. A few more hours and you would have been beyond our aid. But you have some strength in you, my dear hobbit!
Frodo: What happened Gandalf? Why didn't you meet us? (thinks) I’m his dear hobbit, eh...?
Gandalf: Oh I'm sorry Frodo... I was delayed. (acts like he is too sorry)
(Flashback to Isengard.)
Saruman: (uses his powers, flips Gandalf about then dangles him dangerously over the edge of Orthanc) Friendship with Saruman is not lightly thrown aside. One ill turn deserves another. It is over! Embrace the power of the Ring... or embrace your own destruction! (Flips Gandalf back towards the platform)
Gandalf: (slowly raising himself) There is only one Lord of the Rings, I mean Ring! Only one can bend it to his will. And he does not share power! (Gandalf leaps off the Tower of Orthanc and lands on Gwaihir's back) (yells out all the way down) Whee!
Saruman: So you have chosen - death. Yes, you shall die of prostate cancer… (laughs evilly)
(Gwaihir flies over the mountains, bearing Gandalf to safety)
(End of Flashback. Scene returns to Rivendell)
Frodo: Gandalf? What is it?
Gandalf: Nothing Frodo.
Sam: (rushing in) Frodo! Frodo!
Frodo: Sam!
Sam: Bless you, you're awake!
Frodo (laughs)
Gandalf: Sam has hardly left your side.
Frodo: (thinks) Ah great, Sam’s a fag too?!
Sam: We were that worried about you, weren't we Mr. Gandalf?
Frodo: (widens his eyes as he assumes that Gandalf and Samwise are into this whole plan together)
Gandalf: By the skills of Lord Elrond, you're beginning to mend.
Elrond: Welcome to Rivendell, Frodo Baggins.
(Scene changes to the reunion of the hobbits.)
Frodo sees Bilbo. Bilbo! (silently sings a song) Banana-banna-bo-dildo, fe-fi-fo-dildo, me-mi-mo-dildo, Bil-bo!
Bilbo: Hello Frodo my lad!
Frodo: (seems uncomfortable about Bilbo calling him his lad and hesitantly hugs him) Bilbo!
Bilbo: Oh! (looks down over Frodo’s shoulder as he is hugging him at Frodo’s butt)
(Scene: Frodo reads Bilbo's book)
Frodo: "There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale by Bilbo Baggins". (leafs through the book) This is wonderful! (mumbles) Where’s the good stuff…?
Bilbo: I meant to go back...wander the paths of Mirkwood... visit Laketown...see the Lonely Mountain again. But age, it seems, has finally caught up with me. (gives Frodo a playful smirk)
Frodo: (gulps, and then leafs through the book, stops to look at the map of the Shire)
Frodo: I miss the Shire. I spent all my childhood, pretending I was off somewhere else...off with you on one of your adventures! (realizes sadly) My own adventure turned out to be quite different.
Frodo: I’m not like *you* Bilbo.
Bilbo: My dear boy.
Frodo: Yo, Bilbo, I’m only your cousin, mmk?! So lay off with all the endearments!
(Scene goes to Sam packing his bag)
Sam: (to himself) Now what have I forgotten? C’mon, think self! Maybe I have forgotten the spices, or perhaps the kitchen wear, or maybe even the table cloth!
Frodo: Packed already?
Sam: No harm in being prepared.
Frodo: I thought you wanted to see the elves Sam.
Sam: I do!
Frodo: I thought you wanted to do some of the elves, Sam. Like that one Arwen chick.
Sam: I still do!
Frodo: More than anything.
Sam: I did! It’s just...we did what Gandalf wanted didn't we? We got the Ring this far to Rivendell and then I thought, seen’ as how you’re on the mend, we'd be off soon, off home.
Frodo: You're right Sam. We did what we set out to do. (shows the Ring on his palm) The Ring will be safe in Rivendell. I am ready to go home and away from all these.
(Gandalf and Elrond watches Frodo and Sam from the balcony in Elrond's study)
Elrond: His strength returns.
Gandalf: That wound will never fully heal. He will carry it the rest of his life.
Elrond: And yet to have come so far, still bearing the Ring, the hobbit has shown extraordinary resilience to its evil.
Gandalf: It is a burden he should never have had to bear. We can ask no more of Frodo.
Elrond: Gandalf, the enemy is moving. Sauron's forces are amassing in the east-- his eye is fixed on Rivendell. And Saruman you tell me has betrayed us. Our list of allies grows thin.
Gandalf: His treachery runs deeper than you know. By foul craft Saruman has crossed Orcs with goblin-men; he's breeding an army in the caverns of Isengard. An army that can move in sunlight and cover great distance at speed. Saruman is coming for the Ring.
Elrond: This evil cannot be concealed by the power of the Elves. We do not have the strength to fight both Mordor and Isengard!
Gandalf: (moves away, deep in thought)
Elrond: Gandalf, the Ring cannot stay here.
Gandalf: (sees Boromir, Legolas and Gimli arrive at Rivendell)
Elrond: This peril belongs to all middle earth. They must decide now how to end it. The time of the Elves is over-- my people are leaving these shores. Who will you look to when we've gone? The Dwarves? They hide in their mountains seeking riches-- they care nothing for the troubles of others.
Gandalf: It is in Men that we must place our hope.
Elrond: Men? Men are weak. The race of men is failing. The blood of Numenor is all but spent. Its pride and dignity forgotten. It is because of men the Ring survives. I was there Gandalf. I was there three thousand years ago...
(Quick flashback to Isildur slicing the Ring off Sauron’s hand)
Elrond: Isildur took the Ring. I was there the day the strength of men failed.
(Return to flashback, Elrond and Isildur on the slopes of Mount Doom)
Elrond: Isildur hurry! Follow me!
Elrond: (voice over) I led Isildur into the heart of Mount Doom, where the Ring was forged, the one place it could be destroyed.
(At Sammath Naur, Elrond stands near the cracks of Doom)
Elrond: Cast it into the fire!
Isildur: (looks at the Ring in his hand. The Ring whispers to him.)
Elrond: Destroy it!
Isildur: No... (turns and walks away)
Elrond: Isildur!!!
Elrond: (voice over) It should’ve ended that day, but evil was allowed to endure.
(Flashback ends. Scene returns to Rivendell)
Elrond: Isildur kept the Ring. The line of kings is broken. There is no strength left in the world of men. They’re scattered, divided, and leaderless.
Gandalf: There is one who could unite them, one who could reclaim the throne of Gondor.
Elrond: He turned from that path long time ago. He has chosen exile.
(Interior shot in Rivendell.)
Aragorn: (is reading a book.)
Boromir: (enters and pauses to regard the painting of Isildur and Sauron. Then he turns to the shrine and sees the broken sword lying there. He picks up the haft and stares at the blade) The shards of Narsil! The blade that cut the ring from Sauron's hand! (runs his finger up the blade and cuts himself) Ah! (winces and holds his finger like he seriously got hurt) (in amazement) It's still sharp! (Turns to look at Aragorn who is watching him) (in disdain) No more than a broken heirloom! (He returns the sword carelessly and it clatters to the ground. Then he walks away.)
Aragorn: (gets up and walks to the shrine. He picks up the dropped haft and carefully sets it in place with the other shards. He takes a step back and touches his right hand to his heart, as he looks at the shrine.
Arwen: (walks in behind him)
Arwen: Why do you fear the past? You are Isildur's heir, not Isildur himself. You are not bound to his fate.
Aragorn: The same blood flows in my veins. (turns to Arwen) Same weakness.
Arwen: (looks at him suspiciously)
Aragorn: I swear I didn’t drop the sword!! It was Boromir!!
Arwen: Your time will come. You will face the same evil, and you will defeat it. A si i-Dhúath ú-orthor, Aragorn. Ú or le a ú or nin. (The Shadow does not hold sway yet, not over you and not over me.)
(Scene goes to Arwen and Aragorn, in the garden at twilight, standing atop of a bridge)
Arwen: Renech i lú i erui govannem? (Do you remember when we first met?)
Aragorn: Nauthannem i ned ôl reniannen. (I thought I had strayed into a dream.
Arwen: (tenderly touching Aragorn's cheek) Gwenwin in enninath... Ú-'arnech in naeth i si celich. (Long years have passed... You did not have the cares you carry now.) Renech i beth i pennen? (Do you remember what I told you?)
Aragorn: (running his fingers across the Evenstar pendant) You said you'd bind yourself to me -- Forsaking the immortal life of your people.
Arwen: And to that I hold. I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone. (gives Aragorn the Evenstar) I choose a mortal life.
Aragorn: You cannot give me this!
Arwen: It is mine to give to whom I will...like my heart. (They kiss)
(The following morning, at the Council of Elrond. Gandalf and Frodo along with a congregation of Men, Elves and Dwarves sit in a semi-circle around a stone pedestal)
Elrond: Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate--this one doom. (gestures to the pedestal) Bring forth the Ring, Frodo.
Frodo: (rises and lays the Ring on the pedestal and returns to his seat. People start whispering)
Boromir: So it is true...
Man of Laketown: The Doom of Men
Boromir: (shakes head) It is a gift. A gift to the foes of Mordor. Why not use this Ring? (paces) Long has my father, the Steward of Gondor, kept the forces of Mordor at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use it against him!
Aragorn: You cannot wield it! None of us can. The One Ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master.
Boromir: And what would a ranger know of this matter?
Legolas (jumping up): This is no mere ranger. He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance.
Boromir: Aragorn? This... is Isildur's heir?
Aragorn: (in the background, teases Boromir with facial expressions, such as a raspberry or glare)
Legolas: And heir to the throne of Gondor.
Frodo: (looks wide-eyed at Aragorn)
Aragorn: Havo dad Legolas (Sit down Legolas) (thinks) Stupid Elf, you ruined my grand announcement.
Boromir: Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king. (returns to his seat)
Aragorn: That’s it! C'mon bitch! Wanna start something?! (growls and glares at Boromir)
Gandalf: Aragorn is right. We cannot use it.
Aragorn: (nods) Damn straight, I'm always right. I’m the ki-
Elrond: (rolls his eyes at Aragorn's comments and continues, interrupting him) You have only one choice. The Ring must be destroyed.
Gimli: What are we waiting for? (grabs an axe and approaches the pedestal) ARGH!!!! (strikes the Ring with full force but is repelled back, throwing him to the ground.)
Legolas: (snickers) Ignorant fool.
Frodo: (sees the Eye of Sauron in his mind and winces in pain. The Ring remains intact with the shards of the axe all around it)
Ring: (whispers) (indecipherable)
Elrond: The Ring cannot be destroyed, Gimli, son of Gloin by any craft that we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of Mount Doom. Only there can it be unmade. It must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came.
Ring: (whispers) Ash Nazg.
Elrond: One of you must do this.
(Dead silence from the council)
Boromir: One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland. Riddled with fire and ash and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly!
Legolas: (stands) Have you heard nothing Lord Elrond has said? The Ring must be destroyed!
Gimli: (leaps to feet) And I suppose you think you're the one to do it?!
Boromir: (rises) And if we fail, what then?! What happens when Sauron takes back what is his?!
Gimli: I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an elf!
Legolas: I can make sure of that!
(Commotion starts as arguments erupt amongst the council members)
Gimli: Never trust an elf!
Gandalf: Do you not understand that while we bicker amongst ourselves, Sauron's power grows?! None can escape it!
Frodo: (remains seated, watching the Ring uneasily, the angry figures of the council reflected on its surface. Suddenly, flames flare up, engulfing the surface of the Ring)
Ring: Ash Nazg Durbatuluk! Ash Nazg Gimbatul! Ash Nazg Gimbatul! Ash Nazg Gimbatul!
Frodo: (The intensity of the arguments increase. Slowly, determination dawns on Frodo’s face. He stands and takes a few steps toward the arguing council, trying to make his voice heard above the din)
Frodo: I will take it! I will take it!
(The argument dies down. Gandalf closes is eyes as he hears Frodo’s statement. The members of the council slowly turn towards Frodo, astonished)
Frodo: I will take the Ring to Mordor. Though-- I do not know the way.
Gandalf: (walks towards Frodo) I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, so long as it is yours to bear. (places his hands reassuringly on Frodo’s shoulders)
Frodo: (eyes fill with fear as memories of Gandalf being gay fills his mind)
Aragorn: (rises) If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will. (approaches Frodo and keels before him) You have my sword.
Legolas: And you have my bow. (walks to join them)
Gimli: And my axe! (looks grimly at Legolas as he joins the group)
Legolas: Oh just great.. A filthy Dwarf. (groans)
Boromir: (walks over to them) You carry the fates of us all little one. If this is indeed the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done.
Aragorn: (groans as well)
Sam: Heh! (jumps from behind the bushes and joins them) Mr. Frodo is not goin’ anywhere without me!
Elrond: (amused) No indeed, it is hardly possible to separate you even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not.
Pippin and Merry: (emerge from behind the pillars to join them) Wait! We are coming too!
Elrond: (extra exaggeration on his face)
Merry: You'd have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us!
Elrond: (smirks) That can be arranged.
Pippin: Anyway you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission, quest... thing.
Merry: Well that rules you out Pip.
Elrond: Nine companions... So be it! You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring!
Pippin: Great! Where are we going?
(Scene goes to Bilbo’s room)
Bilbo: My old sword, Sting! Here! Take it, take it!
Frodo: (unsheathes the sword and examines it) It’s so light!
Bilbo: Yes...yea--made by the elves you know. The blade glows blue when Orcs are close. And its times like that my lad, when you'll have to be extra careful! (brings out a mail shirt)
Bilbo: Here’s a pretty thing --Mithril! As light as a feather! And as hard as dragon scales! Let me see you put it on. Go on.
Frodo: (starts to unbutton his shirt.)
Bilbo: (sees the Ring hanging on a chain around Frodo’s neck and licks his lips) Oh...M-my old Ring! Oh well... I sh-sh-should very much like, to hold it again, one last time. (has the look of lust in his eye)
Frodo: (begins to cover up the Ring)
Bilbo: (transformed by the power of the Ring, lashes out.)
Frodo: (startled, backs away) Ooookaaay..............
Bilbo: (soon regains his composure. He then sits on the bed weeping) I’m sorry I brought this upon you my boy...I’m sorry that you must carry this burden. I’m sorry for everything! (makes it as if he's done much more to Frodo than Frodo knows)
Frodo: (hesitantly places a reassuring hand on Bilbo’s shoulder)
(Scene: The Fellowship departs from Rivendell. They travel through the woods, over open plains and hillsides. They pause on a hill in the wild)
Gandalf: (Voice Over) We must hold this course west of the Misty Mountains for 40 days. If our luck holds the Gap of Rohan will still be open to us. From there our road turns east to Mordor.
(Rest Stop: Boromir spars with Merry and Pippin, tutoring them on sword fighting)
Boromir: Two, One, Five. Good, very good.
Aragorn: Move your feet.
Merry: That’s good, Pippin.
Pippin: Thanks.
Boromir: Faster.
Gimli: ‘Anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they’re not!!, I’d say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf, we could pass through the Mines of Moria. My cousin Balin would give us a royal welcome.
Gandalf: No Gimli, I would not take the roads through Moria unless I had no other choice.
Legolas: (mumbles stuff about a stupid Dwarf then notices something amiss and looks intently towards the South)
Boromir: Come on. Good. (accidentally nicks Pippin’s hand)
Pippin: Aaaahhhh! You Bastard!
Boromir: Sorry!
Pippin: (kicks Boromir on the shin)
Boromir: Ahh!
Merry: Get Him!
Boromir: (goes down in mock battle)
Aragorn: (snickers) Yes, that's right get him good.
Pippin: For the Shire!
Pippin: Hold him! Hold him Merry!
Merry: He got my arm! He got my arm!
Sam: (noticing black cloud)What is that?
Gimli: Nothing, it’s just a whiff of cloud.
Boromir: It’s moving fast...against the wind.
Legolas: Crebain from Dunland!
Aragorn: Hide!
Boromir: Merry! Frodo!
Aragorn: Come on, come on! Take cover!
(The Fellowship scrambles to gather their things. Sam puts out the fire. They hide behind rock outcroppings and under bushes. Just then, a flock of black birds rushes overhead, cawing loudly. They circle the hill, then turn and fly back Southward.)
Gandalf: Spies of Saruman! The passage south is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras.
(The Fellowship climbs the snowy slopes of Caradhras.)
Pippin: Dude, it’s really cold!!
Frodo: (looses his footing and falls, rolling down the slope towards Aragorn) Ungh!
Aragorn: Frodo! (helps him to his feet. Frodo searches himself for the Ring. Finding it missing, he looks back up the slope. Boromir, sees the Ring on the snow and picks it up by its chain)
Aragorn: Boromir.
Boromir: (looking at ring) It is a strange fate we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing... such a little thing.
Aragorn: Boromir! Give the Ring to Frodo, damnit!
Boromir: (hands it to Frodo) As you wish. I care not.
Frodo: (grabs the Ring from him and hisses at him)
Boromir: (jokingly tousles Frodo’s hair then turns to resume climbing)
Frodo: (looks on suspiciously) Aragorn releases his grip from his sword.
(Scene goes to Crebain returning to Isengard- beneath Orthanc)
Saruman: So, Gandalf, you try to lead them over Caradhras. And if that fails, where then will you go? If the mountain defeats you will you risk a more dangerous road?
(Scene - The Pass of Caradhras.)
( Fellowship with the exception of Legolas plods through the snow. )
Legolas: (walks on top, keeping watch and makes fun of the others that they cannot do as he is doing)
(Voice of Saruman is heard)
Voice of Saruman: Cuiva nwalca Carnirassë nai yarvaxëa rasselya! (Wake up cruel Redhorn! May your horn be bloodstained!)
Legolas: There is a fell voice on the air.
Gandalf: It’s Saruman!
(First avalanche falls. It misses the Fellowship by a hair)
Aragorn: He’s trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back!
Gandalf: No! (rises on the snow, chants out counter spell)
Gandalf: Losto Caradhras, sedho, hodo, nuitho i 'ruith! (Sleep Caradhras, be still, lie still, hold your wrath!)
Saruman: (atop Orthanc) Cuiva nwalca Carnirasse; Nai yarvaxea rasselya; taltuva peskipiski, pesternomi! notto-carinnar immobilus! (Wake up cruel Redhorn! May your bloodstained horn fall upon enemy heads!)
(lightning strikes the tip of Caradhras sending a second avalanche onto the Fellowship below.)
Legolas: (snatches Gandalf from the edge, pulling him against the cliff just before the snow buries them completely. After a moment, they emerge from the snow)
Boromir: We must get off the mountain! Make for the Gap of Rohan and take the west road to my city!
Aragorn: The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard!
Gimli: If we cannot pass over a mountain, let us go under it. Let us go through the mines of Moria.
(Scene flashes to Saruman in his chamber in Orthanc, reading a page in a book of lore)
Saruman: Moria. You fear to go into those mines. The dwarves delved too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the darkness of Khazad-Dum: Shadow and Flame! (laughs evilly) You should have united with me when you had the chance, old man!
(Scene returns to Caradhras)
Gandalf: (grimly) Let the Ring bearer decide. Frodo?
Frodo: (glances at Sam) We will go through the mines. (gets evil looks from everyone)
Gandalf: So be it.
(Scene: The Fellowship arrives at the West Gate of Moria)
Gimli: (in awe) The walls of Moria!
(Fellowship walks by the side of the lake.)
Frodo: (his foot slips into the water and gasps.)
Gandalf: (makes out an outline of the doors)
Gandalf: Now, let’s see. Ithildin -- it mirrors only starlight and moonlight. (thinks) It has been so long since I have last done this… (remarks about The Hobbit)
(Moon appears. Doors illuminate)
Gandalf: It reads "The doors of Durin - Lord of Moria. Speak friend and enter."
Merry: What do you suppose that means?
Gandalf: Oh it’s quite simple. If you are a friend you speak the password and the doors will open.
Gandalf: Annon Edhellen edro hi ammen! (Gate of the Elves open now for me!)
(Doors remain closed. Gandalf begins to push it with his staff)
(Scene changes to The Matrix, where Neo, Morpheus, and Link meet on the ship to discuss the new sectors of the Matrix)
Link: (typing some, and looks confused. Then sighs and continues to work)
Morpheus: (comes from behind him, placing a hand onto his chair) So, any changes or new information about these newly found places?
Link: Hmm, well. It is all too confusing. I mean these places, they are so much different than the true Matrix. It’s almost as if they are real, but too real. Even for our world.
Morpheus: (intrigued) Please, explain…
Link: (types and points to a part on the screen) Here we have the beautiful land of what is seemed to be called “Middle Earth.” It almost duplicates what this world would have looked like over two thousand years before! Well, at least part of it. Most of it is green with forests here and there, and it is home to humans also, but other beings as well. The other parts are dry and barren, and even have volcanoes. This land seems to have a deep history full of many battles and war.
Morpheus: (rubs his chin) I see… What else is there?
Link: (types again and points also to another part on the screen) Yet another land that relates to ours. But more exact this time. Also around the same time in history, from what we assume at least, is a land called the “Caribbean.” Ocean, islands, and many other things, this is where most people could consider a vacationing spot. However, it is still full of battles and such; perils created by humans known as Pirates.
Morpheus: (seems only slightly confused) Interesting, very interesting. I’ll tell Neo to we’ll be jacking in to discover the place.
Link: (nods and continues talking as Morpheus walks out of frame)
Morpheus: (soon returns with Neo who sits into one of the chairs) Morpheus: (walks to another chair)
Link: (perks up, and begins to type faster) Hold on a second, this is strange…
Morpheus: (walks then to Link) What is it?
Neo: (sits up with a confused look)
Link: (continues to type)
Morpheus: Well?
Neo: (strokes his Trinity doll in the background and whispers to it)
Morpheus: (glances back at Neo with a weird look on his face, then rolls his eyes and looks back to Link)
Link: Okay, you’re not going to believe this, but you can’t jack into Middle Earth. There seems to be some sort of block!
Morpheus: Is it Smith?
Link: Exactly, but I don’t think he’s planning on doing anything evil though, in this land. It is almost as if he is changed.. It just seems as if he simply doesn’t want us to interfere.
Morpheus: Impossible!
Link: I told you weren’t going to believe it.
Morpheus: (growls slightly) Well, can you get through it?
Link: Yes, but it will take some time. (Continues to type still)
Morpheus: (sighs) Alright. Now what about that other land you told me about? “The Caribbean”?
Link: (stops for a moment, then types again, and sighs and shakes his head) No. There is another block on that land as well. There appears to be another force other than that of Smith, but it is linked to a force in Middle Earth somehow.
Morpheus: (nods) Well damn. Link, get to hacking through those blocks. (turns towards Neo) Neo, we’re going to train.
(The Fellowship rests while Gandalf sits before the portals and tries to decide their course)
Pippin: Are we lost?
Merry: No.
Pippin: I think we are.
Sam: Shhh! Gandalf’s thinking.
Pippin: Merry?
Merry: What?
Pippin: I’m hungry. Dude, I totally got the munchies…
Legolas: (is looking into his compact, checking out himself, then looks away from it and looks upon them, and rolls his eyes in disgust)
Frodo: (looks down into the cavern and sees a small figure leaping from stone to stone. Startled, he approaches Gandalf.)
Frodo: Dude! There’s something down there.
Gandalf: It’s Gollum. (seems really casual about it)
Frodo: Gollum? (seems scared)
Gandalf: He’s been following us for three days.
Frodo: (amazed and scared still) He escaped the dungeons of Barad-Dur!
Gandalf: Escaped? Or was set loose? (laughs evilly, as if to tease Frodo)
Frodo: (gulps)
Gollum: (from the distance below, he looks up, his large eyes pierces the darkness and observes the company)
Gandalf: He hates and loves the Ring, as he hates and loves himself. He will never be rid of his need for it.
Frodo: It’s a pity Bilbo didn’t kill him when he had the chance! Or sent him off to the crazy house by the sounds of it!
Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo’s hand. Many that live deserve death, and some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo?
Frodo: Well, um… That’s a damn hard question.
Gandalf: Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. Even the very wise can not see all ends. My heart tells me that Gollum has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before this is over. The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many.
Gollum: (slinks off.)
Frodo: (sits down next to Gandalf) I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world Frodo besides the will of evil. Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, in which case you also were meant to have it. And that is an encouraging thought. (looks toward one of the doorways) Ah! It’s that way.
Merry: He’s remembered!
Gandalf: No, but the air doesn’t smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose.
(Scene: Jack’s discovery of ale)
Jack: (walks through the street of Bree drunkenly, getting many weird stares and stops at the Prancing Pony and looks up at it. He then turns and pushes against the door and walks into the inn. As he enters it he suddenly feels a little bit at home. He walks to a table and plops down onto the wooden chair. Out of habit, he yells out) One bottle of rum!
(The entire bar goes quiet)
Jack: (blinks and looks around)
Butterbur: (looks at Jack, confused) What, rum? We’ve got no rum here.
Jack: (looks infuriated! He quickly stands up and walks over to the bartender, Butterbur, and leans down and talks to him quietly) Are you trying to tell me that this bar has no rum?!?!
Butterbur: (shakes his head) Aye, that is true. But what we do have here is ale, some of the finest in the land.
Jack: (mumbles) Well give me some of that.
Butterbur: Would ye like a pint?
Jack: Sure, sure. Whatever.
Butterbur: (quickly serves him a pint of ale)
Jack: (eyes the pint of ale suspiciously, and lifts it up to his lips and drinks down a gulp of it. He then lifts the cup down onto and looks at it amazed, then smiles) Ha-ha! (downs the entire pint of ale)
(Changes back to: The Balrog is heard approaching from the other hall, its the fiery light is seen getting closer. Stone structures around the mine collapse as it draws near. A huge rock falls from the ceiling and smashes down the steps behind Aragorn and Frodo, creating another gap behind them and weakening the stairs’ foundation. The stairs begin to wobble)
Aragorn: C’mon Frodo, we’ve got to make me look kingly in this one! (changes mood) Stay there. Hold on. Hang on! Lean forward!
Legolas: Come on! (motions)
(They shift their weight forward, tipping the stairs across the divide and slamming onto the steps where their companions are. They leap across to safety. Turning, they continue to run down the stairs as the stone structures collapse behind them)
Gandalf: Over the bridge! Fly!
(The Fellowship crosses the bridge.)
Gandalf: (turns to face the Balrog.)
The Balrog: (growls)
Gandalf: You cannot pass!
Frodo: Gandalf!
(A blazing white light radiates from Gandalf’s staff, illuminating the entire bridge)
Gandalf: I am the servant of the Secret fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you! Flame of Udun! (smashes down staff onto the bridge, expecting it to light up, but it doesn’t) Flame of Ud-un! (repeats and barely gets any light) Oh piece of crap staff. (smacks it and it finally lights up in full)
The Balrog: You never called me back!(strikes down on Gandalf with its flaming sword.)
Gandalf: Listen, Balrog, baby, it was a one night thang, mmk? (parries the blow with Glamdring, shattering the Balrog’s sword) Go back to the shadow!
The Balrog: (cries) I thought I meant more than that to you! (brandishes a flaming whip, lashing it about menacingly) Remember this, my dear?
Gandalf: (gulps, then tries to ignore him) YOU... SHALL NOT...PASS!!! (strikes his staff onto the bridge.)
(As the Balrog steps forward, the bridge collapses from under it and the demon plunges backward into the chasm. Gandalf, exhausted, leans on his staff and watches the Balrog fall then turns to follow the others. At the last minute, the flaming whip lashes up from the depths of the abyss and wounds about Gandalf’s ankle, dragging him over the edge. He clings onto the bridge but is straining to keep his grip.
Frodo: (rushes forward but Boromir restrains him)
Boromir: No, Frodo!
Frodo: Gandaaaaalf! (suddenly realizes how much he had cared about him)
Gandalf: Fly you fools! (Gandalf loses his grip and falls into the chasm)
Frodo: Noooooooooooooooo!!!!(Boromir grabs hold of Frodo and starts to leave)
Boromir: Aragorn!
Frodo: Noooooooooooo!!!
Aragorn: (stares at the bridge in disbelief. For a moment he does not move, but then Orc arrows start whistling by once again, shooting at the companions. Dodging, he turns and follows the others up the stairs)
(The Fellowship comes streaming out of the East Gate of Moria. Everyone is distraught.)
Sam: (sits on the ground, bows his head onto his hands and begins to weep.)
Merry: (consoles Pippin, who lay crying.)
Boromir: (tries to restrain Gimli as the dwarf vents out his rage and sorrow.)
Legolas: (wears a look of shock and disbelief)
Aragorn: (wipes his sword clean, re-sheathes it and turns to the others) Legolas, get them up.
Boromir: Give them a moment for pity's sake.
Aragorn: By nightfall these hills will be swarming with Orcs! We must reach the Woods of Lothlórien. Come Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, get them up.
Aragorn: (he reaches down and lifts Sam up) On your feet Sam. (looks around) Frodo? Frodo! (growls) Frodo, get your ass over here! Act like the responsible Ring Bearer for once!
Frodo: (a few paces away, grieves alone. Weeping silently, he turns towards Aragorn.)
(Scene: The Fellowship crosses Dimrill Dale and enters the Woods of Lothlórien)
Gimli: Stay close young hobbits! They say there’s a great sorceress lives in these woods, an elf-witch of terrible power. All who look upon her, fall under her spell...
Voice of Galadriel (whispering): Frodo....
Frodo: (startled, looks around)
Gimli: ... and are never seen again.
Voice of Galadriel: ...You’re coming to us... is as the footsteps of doom. You bring great evil here Ring bearer!
Sam: Mr. Frodo?
Gimli: Well, here is one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!
(With arrows notched, Lórien elves suddenly appear from behind the trees, aiming at them.)
(The Fellowship stops and look around, alarmed)
Gimli: Oh...
Haldir: The dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark.
Gimli: Grrr....
Aragorn: Haldir o Lórien. Henion aníron, boe ammen i dulu lîn. Boe ammen veriad lîn. (Haldir of Lórien, we come here for help. We need your protection.)
Gimli: Aragorn, these woods are perilous! We should go back.
Haldir: You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. You cannot go back. Come, she is waiting.
(Back to The Matrix)
Link: (is working at the computer, trying to hack through both of the blocks in the Matrix)
Morpheus: (comes up behind them) Any luck?
Link: (continues to type and nods) Yes, very much.
Morpheus: (nods and turns his back to walk away)
Link: I-I can’t believe it! (ecstatic and catches Morpheus’s attention) Morpheus! I got through; I broke both of the fire walls!
Morpheus: (runs to his side) Excellent, I shall go tell Neo to get ready to jack in.
(The Fellowship arrive at Caras Galadhon. They ascend a winding stairway amongst the trees, towards the grand court of Galadriel and Celeborn. With a glow issuing forth from them, the Lord and Lady of Lothlórien descend to meet the Fellowship, hand in hand. Aragorn touches his head reverently in greeting)
Celeborn: Eight that are here yet nine there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him.
Galadriel: (looks at Aragorn, reading the answer in his eyes) He has fallen into shadow. The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all. (Galadriel looks at Boromir who can't stand her gaze. )
Boromir: (He starts shaking and casts his eyes downwards)
Galadriel: Yet hope remains while the company is true. (Galadriel looks at Sam and smiles.)
Sam: (continues to gaze at her)
Galadriel: Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace. (whispers to Frodo in his mind) Welcome Frodo of the Shire. One who has seen the Eye!
(Later, back on the ground, an area has been provided for them to rest in. The hobbits are settling down to rest. In the trees, the elves singing can be heard)
Elf Voice: A Olorin i yaresse ( Olorin, who once was...)
Elf Voice: Mentaner i Numeherui... (sent by the Lords of the West...)
Legolas: (pensive) A lament for Gandalf.
Merry: What do they say about him?
Legolas: I have not the heart to tell you. For me the grief is still too near.
Elf Voice: Tirien i Romenori (to guard the lands of the East...)
Elf Voice: Maiarion i Oiosaila...(wisest of all Maiar...)
Elf Voice: Mana elye etevanne...(what drove you to leave...)
Elf Voice: Norie i melanelye? (that which you loved?)
Aragorn: (walks over to Boromir, who is seated alone on a great tree root) Take some rest. These borders are well protected.
Boromir: I will find no rest here. I heard her voice inside my head. She spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said to me even now there is hope left. But I cannot see it. It is long since we had any hope. My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing. And now our...our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right and I would do it. I would see the glory of Gondor restored. (sigh) Have you ever seen it Aragorn? White tower of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver. Its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?
Aragorn: I have seen the White City, long ago.
Boromir: One day, our paths will lead us there. And the tower guards shall take up the call: The Lords of Gondor have returned!
The Fellowship: (is asleep.)
Galadriel: (walks by.)
Frodo: (wakes up with a start and proceeds to follow her.)
Galadriel: (descends to her garden and fills the ewer with water. She turns towards Frodo) Will you look into the mirror?
Frodo: What will I see?
Galadriel: Even the wisest cannot tell. For the mirror shows many things. (She begins to pour the water into the silver basin) Things that were, things that are and some things... (empties the ewer) that have not yet come to pass.
Frodo: (steps up to the mirror to take a look. He peers down and sees nothing but his reflection. The suddenly the mirror clears and shows a vision of Legolas, Merry and Pippin, then Sam. He sees Bag End;) Hey! I can see my house from here! (Then the burning of Hobbiton, the enslavement of the Hobbits and the destruction of the Shire. Then the Eye of Sauron fills the mirror. The Ring hanging from his neck pulls him closer to the water. Steam begins to curl up from the basin as Sauron speaks to Frodo in Black Speech. Terrified, he grabs the Ring and jerks back, throwing himself off the step and landing on his back on the forest floor)
Galadriel: I know what it is you saw, for it is also in my mind. (speaks to Frodo telepathically) It is what will come to pass if you should fail. The Fellowship is breaking. It has already begun. He will try to take the Ring. You know of whom I speak. One by one it will destroy them all.
Frodo: (telepathically) If you ask it of me, I will give you the One Ring.(Opening his palm, he offers the Ring to her)
Galadriel: I am already spoken for, Frodo. What kind of Elf do you take me for? However… You offer it to me freely. I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this. (She approaches Frodo and places her hand over the Ring. Her image begins to change) (grows tall and inhuman) In place OF A DARK LORD, YOU WILL HAVE A QUEEN! NOT DARK BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN! TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA! STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE EARTH! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DISPAIR! (Galadriel’s image returns to normal)
Frodo: (becomes really freaked out)
Galadriel: I pass the test! I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.
Frodo: I cannot do this alone.
Galadriel: You are a Ring bearer, Frodo. To bear a Ring of power is to be alone. This task was appointed to you and if you do not find a way, no one will.
Frodo: Then I know what I must do. It's just... I'm afraid to do it. (Galadriel bends down to meet him at eye level)
Galadriel: Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.
(scene changes to Mordor)
Barbosa: (walks before Barad Dur, the Tower of Mordor, and wipes his forehead) Blast this heat! (glances toward the tower) Might they have some cold air in there? (walks towards it.
(Barbosa enters the tower)
Barbosa: (looks around) ‘Ello? (grins, thinking no one is home and walks around the in the dark, as he steps out even further the door shuts behind him, making him jump. He walks down a hall and hears discussion from a room at the end of the hall)
(in audible voices)
Barbosa: (Curious at what it might be, he walks even closer to the room and peers inside, spotting Sauron and Agent Smith talking to each other over a cup of tea. He then listens to their conversation)
Sauron: So, yah know, I was, like thinking that the first rule could be, you do not talk about the club, and the second could be a stern reminder that you do not talk about the club. Genius, no?
Agent Smith: Sounds perfect. Then we shall say, no shirts and no shoes.
Barbosa: (becomes even more curious and steps into the room bravely, folding his arms across his chest and says) What be ye talkin’ about?
(The two look at him)
Agent Smith: Ahh... Barbosa, we were waiting for you.
(The Fellowship starts to make camp)
Aragorn: We cross the lake at nightfall. Hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north.
Gimli: Oh, yes?! It's just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil? An impassable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks! And after that, it gets even better!
Pippin: (looks up, alarmed)
Gimli: Festering, stinking marshlands far as the eye can see!
Aragorn: That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength master dwarf.
Gimli: Recover my...?! Phrrrrr...
Legolas: (quietly to Aragorn) We should leave now.
Aragorn: No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore. We must wait for cover of darkness.
Legolas: It is not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near...I can feel it!
Aragorn: Well, I would like to go this way.
Legolas: Seriously Aragorn! The other way is better!
Aragorn: Legolas, I am the leader so follow my orders without question!!
Legolas: (grows sad) Alright…
Gimli: No dwarf need recover strength! (to Pippin) Pay no heed to that, young hobbit.
Merry: (returning with some wood for the campfire, looks around) Where's Frodo?
Sam: (who was half-dozing, rouses with a start.)
Aragorn: (looks over the camp. His gaze stops on Boromir’s shield, lying with the baggage)
Frodo: (wanders into the forest. He stands by an immense stone head, lying with its side on the ground.)
Boromir: (gathering wood, sees Frodo and approaches him)
Boromir: None of us should wander alone, you least of all. So much depends on you. I know why you seek solitude. You suffer; I see it day by day. You sure you do not suffer needlessly? There are other ways, Frodo, other paths that we might take.
Frodo: I know what you would say. And it would seem like wisdom but for the warning in my heart.
Boromir: Warning? Against what? We're all afraid, Frodo. But to let that fear drive us to destroy what hope we have. Don't you see that is madness?
Frodo: There is no other way!
Boromir: I ask only for the strength to defend my people! (throws the gathered wood to the ground) If you would but lend me the Ring...
Frodo: No. (steps back)
Boromir: Why do you recoil? I am no thief.
Frodo: You are not yourself.
Boromir: What chance do you think you have? They will find you! They will take the Ring and you will beg for death before the end!
(Frodo begins to run from Boromir)
Boromir: Fool! (Boromir gives chase)
Boromir: It is not yours save by unhappy chance. It could have been mine! (tackles Frodo) It should be mine! Give it to me! (struggle ensues)
Boromir: Give it to me!
Frodo: No!
Boromir: Give me... Give me the Ring!
Frodo: Nurgh...ugh! (Frodo slips the Ring on and disappears. He kicks Boromir and runs away)
Boromir: (looks around desperately) I see your mind. You will take the Ring to Sauron! You will betray us! You go to your death and the death of us all! Curse you! Curse you! And all the Halflings! (he slips and falls to the ground. The madness of the Ring leaves him and he comes to his senses) Frodo?...Frodo?...what have I done?...please...Frodo!
Frodo: (runs up the steps to the seat of Amon Hen)
Boromir: (in the background) Frodo, I'm sorry! Oh no!
Frodo: (in the "shadow world," climbs up onto the Seat of Seeing atop Amon Hen. He looks over the stone seat and sees the Dark Tower from afar. The image rushes towards him and his vision rise to its pinnacle—where the burning Eye of Sauron stares back menacingly. Frodo, rushing to remove the Ring, falls off the Seat of Seeing and lands on his back. He sits up, trying to catch his breath)
Aragorn: (approaches) Frodo?
Frodo: (startled) Huh?! It has taken Boromir.
Aragorn: (intensely) Where is the Ring?
Frodo: Stay away! (scrambles up and retreats from Aragorn.)
Aragorn: (comes after him) Frodo!
Frodo: (stops)
Aragorn: I swore to protect you!
Frodo: Can you protect me from yourself?! (Shows the Ring on his palm)
Frodo: Would you destroy it?
Aragorn: (looking at the Ring, slowly approaches Frodo with a puzzled expression.)
Ring: (whispering) Aragorn... Aragorn... Elessar...
Aragorn: (He reaches out. With both hands, Aragorn closes Frodo’s hand over the Ring and pushes it to the hobbit’s chest.) I would have gone with you to the end, into the very fires of Mordor.
Frodo: I know. Look after the others, especially Sam. He will not understand.
Aragorn: (nods but then sees Sting’s blue glow. He stands suddenly and draws out his sword. Frodo looks startled, then looks at Sting.)
Aragorn: Go on Frodo. Run. Run!
Frodo: (leaves)
Aragorn: (walks out from beneath the Seat of Seeing and finds a troop of Uruk-Hai advancing towards him. He gives a half-smile, and half-swaggers towards them, holding his sword up to his face as an acceptance to the challenge. They attack. He cuts several down, but they force him up the stairs of the Seat)
Sam: (searches frantically for Frodo in the woods) Mr. Frodo!!! (He hears the clash of sword on sword. His eyes widen)
Lurtz: (to his troops) Find the Halfling! Find the Halfling!
Aragorn: (jumps onto the Uruk-Hai) Elendil!!!!!
(Legolas and Gimli run forward from behind the Seat.)
Legolas: (shoots three Uruk-Hai with quick bow-work.)
Gimli: (lands blow after blow with his axe)
Legolas: Aragorn! Go!
Frodo: (runs and hides behind a tree.)
(Across the way, Merry and Pippin hide in a space under some fallen tree trunks)
Merry: Frodo!
Pippin: (beckoning) Hide here quick! Come on!
Frodo: (looks at them, anguished, then shakes his head)
Pippin: (to Merry) What’s he doin'?
Merry: He's leavin’.
Pippin: No! (runs out to Frodo)
Merry: Pippin! (comes after him. They are out in the open. Several Uruk-Hai are coming down the hill, towards their area.)
Merry: (quietly) Run Frodo! Go!
Merry: (calling to Uruk-Hai) Hey! Hey you! Over here!
Pippin: Hey!
Merry: Over here!
Pippin: (waving his arms) This way!
(Both hobbits run away from Frodo. The Uruk-Hai troop follows them.)
Frodo: (makes a break for it, running in the opposite direction)
Pippin: Its working!
Merry: I know its working! Run!
(Merry and Pippin run across an old stone bridge. At its far end, they stop and see Uruk-Hai running towards them. The Uruks are closing in, both in front and behind. An Uruk runs up to them, raising his battleaxe.)
Boromir: (comes charging in, knocks the Uruk back, and kills him with his own axe. He throws a knife at another.)
(More close in)
(Back at the Seat of Seeing, Legolas, Aragorn, and Gimli continue to fight the Uruk-Hai. In one smooth move, Legolas stabs one Uruk with an arrow then shoots it out at another. Gimli wields his axe. Aragorn stabs one behind his back. Legolas shoots an Uruk who has closed in on Aragorn)
(Three loud ox-horn blasts are heard)
Legolas: The Horn of Gondor!
Aragorn: Boromir!
(They run down Amon Hen towards the sound, but Uruks are between them and Boromir. A visual sweep shows some running towards Boromir, down the stone steps; the others attack Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli as they struggle to follow)
(Boromir sounds the horn of Gondor again)
Boromir: (to the hobbits) Run! Run!
(The Uruks attack Boromir.)
Boromir: (He kills two more.)
Lurtz: (walks into view, lifts his bow, aims a big black arrow, and shoots it into Boromir’s left shoulder.)
(After Boromir is hit by an arrow, a chorus begins singing the following lines translated into Elvish: "I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness or the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.")
(The hobbits look at him in shock.)
Boromir: (drops to his knees, begins to breathe hard, and looks at the hobbits.)
(Uruks come closer, but he gives a battle cry, rises, and swings his sword at one, who falls.)
Lurtz: (growls, lifts his bow, and shoots again. A black arrow flies into Boromir’s stomach.)
Boromir: (He drops to his knees again, gasping. But he swings his sword at another Uruk and gets back up.)
Lurtz: (shoots him one more time, in the chest.)
Boromir: (falls on his knees and stays there, swaying a little and blinking)
(Merry and Pippin look at him, aghast. With all the courage they could muster, they take up their swords and attack the Uruk-Hai)
Merry and Pippin: Shire!!
(They never have the chance to strike. The Uruk-Hai lifted them up and carried them off. Merry and Pippin wave their arms frantically. The Uruk-Hai troop walks away from Boromir.)
Boromir: (looks on in helplessly)
Lurtz: (now left alone, stops ten feet from Boromir and takes aim with his bow.)
Boromir: (swallows and stares back at him.)
Aragorn: (crashes into Lurtz, whose arrow flies off harmlessly)
(Lurtz and Aragorn fight. Aragorn loses his sword and is thrown to the ground; when he gets up, Lurtz throws his two-prong shield at Aragorn and pins him by the neck against a tree. Lurtz raises his sword and strikes, but Aragorn slips beneath the shield and dodges the blow. Aragorn pulls out a knife and stabs Lurtz on the leg. Lurtz roars. Lurtz then pulls out the knife and throws it at Aragorn, who has found his sword and uses it to bat the knife away. Aragorn closes in on Lurtz and in a flurry of swordplay, slices his arm off and then stabs him in the chest. Lurtz pulls himself up on the sword closer to Aragorn, snarling. Aragorn grimaces, pulls his sword out of Lurtz, swings it wide, and hacks off Lurtz’s head. The rest of Lurtz falls to the ground)
Aragorn: (excessively shows that he has won)(pauses a moment, panting. He then races to Boromir, and points and laughs) Aragorn: (pauses a moment, panting. He then races to Boromir. Boromir, pale and bloodied, is now lying on his back, his head close to a tree)
Aragorn: No! (runs up and kneels near Boromir)
Boromir: They took the little ones.
Aragorn: Be still.
Boromir: Frodo, where is Frodo?
Aragorn: I let Frodo go.
Boromir: Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the Ring from him.
Aragorn: The Ring is beyond our reach now.
Boromir: Forgive me, I did not see it. I have failed you all.
Aragorn: No, Boromir, you fought bravely! You have kept your honor. (reaches out to pull the arrows from Boromir)
Boromir: Leave it! It is over. The world of men will fall, and all will come to darkness... and my city to ruin.
Aragorn: I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you I will not let the white city fall, nor our people fail!
Boromir: Our people? Our people. (He reaches for his sword. Aragorn places the hilt in his hand, and Boromir clasps it to his chest)
Boromir: I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king! (Boromir passes away. Aragorn touches his hand to his forehead, then to his lips in respect)
Aragorn: Be at peace, son of Gondor. (bends and kisses Boromir on the brow)
(Legolas and Gimli arrive at the scene. Legolas looks sadly at Aragorn and Boromir. Gimli bows his head and turns away)
(Scene shows Sam running through the woods)
Sam: Frodo!
(Frodo stands upon Parth Galen, staring into the distance, with the Ring on his palm. Weeping silently, he recalls his conversation with Gandalf)
(flashback)
Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.
(flashback ends. Frodo looks determined. He closes his hand over the Ring, and puts it into his vest pocket. He pushes the boat into the river and jumps in. Just then, Sam emerges from the woods. He sees Frodo paddling away and runs after him)
Sam: Frodo no! Frodo! Mr. Frodo!
Frodo: (to himself) No Sam. (continues to paddle away)
Sam: (runs into the river after Frodo. Frodo, hearing the splashes, looks back)
Frodo: Go back Sam! I’m going to Mordor alone.
Sam: Of course you are, and I’m coming with you!
Frodo: You can’t swim! Sam! (Sam struggles to swim then sinks into the water)
Frodo: Sam!!!
Sam: (sinks deeper and deeper. He sees the sun shimmering up on the surface. His arm floats limply as he descends into the water. Suddenly Frodo’s hand reaches down and grabs Sam’s wrist. . Sam tightens his hand around Frodo’s. Frodo pulls him out of the water and up into the boat and Sam tumbles in)
Sam: (dripping and crying) I made a promise, Mr. Frodo. A promise! "Don’t you leave him Samwise Gamgee." And I don’t mean to! I don’t mean to.
Frodo: Oh Sam! (hug) Come on.
(Frodo and Sam paddle towards the eastern shore)
(Scene: Boromir is laid to rest in one of the boats. His sword rests with him, his shield is above his head and his cloven horn at his side. The boat slips over the falls of Rauros and then drops into the mists below. Gimli watches the boat disappear. Aragorn straps on Boromir’s vambraces in his honor.)
Legolas (pushing last boat into lake): Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern shore.
Aragorn: (stand still and says nothing)
Legolas: You mean not to follow them?
Aragorn: Frodo’s fate is no longer in our hands.
Gimli: Then it has all been in vain! The Fellowship has failed.
Aragorn: (puts his hands on their shoulders) Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left. Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let’s hunt some orc!
(Legolas and Gimli look at each other, grinning)
Gimli: Yes!!! Haha!
Aragorn: (runs into the woods, followed by Gimli and Legolas)
(Scene: Frodo and Sam stand upon Emyn Muil, seeing the Dead Marshes and Mordor in the distance ahead)
Frodo: Mordor. I hope the others find a safer route.
Sam: Strider will look after them.
Frodo: I don’t suppose we’ll ever see them again.
Sam: We may yet, Mr. Frodo. We may.
Frodo: (turns, smiling) Sam, I’m glad you’re with me.
(Frodo and Sam descend the rocky slope. Scene fades out)
(Credits roll)