Insomnia |
I get home, after hours. You have just left me; now alone. Alone and lost. Where are you? You said you'd be there! Where is your voice? You said I could trust you! Where is your touch? You said we would stay together! Why do you torment me so? I don't deserve this! I turn on the TV. I am so bored. Why did you leave? Why did you love me? How dare you!? You make me love you, and then you leave, and rip the world and it's possibilities away with you! You built me up, then drop me, why? How could I ever love again? Who could ever replace you? Why do you hate me? I look out the window. The darkness has already enveloped all. The rain has begun, and the sound echoes off of the roof. It used to soothe me when you were here. Where is your gentle voice? Why won't you sing me to sleep? Why won't you return to me? I brush my teeth, dress into my night shorts and white T-shirt, and get into bed. I close my eyes, and listen to the sounds of the rains. I turn in my bed, and face the wall, cold and unforgiving, yet strong and solid. Is that why you left? Was I not good enough for you? You were always so much more beautiful than I deserved. So much more intelligent than I could fathom. So sincere, I could always tell your emotions. So loving, that we saw into each other's souls. Now you are gone, and where does that leave me? If no one sees me, am I here? If no one touches me, do I feel? If no one hears me, do I speak? If no one loves me, do I exist? How can one who opened their heart so fully and lovingly be so cruel and hateful? I lie in quiet and darkness, why can't I sleep. The rain has stopped, so why don't I drift off? The house is empty, so where do I go? My eyes do not close, how can they? There is no longer the drive for life, yet no reason to die. I live in limbo, in two worlds. I toss, and turn, and get out of bed. I look at the clock. It is eleven-o-three. I walk to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I look alright, so what's the matter? |