The Decaying Urban Municipalities of Pittsburgh (DUMP) website is designed to neutralize the deceptive branding of Pittsburgh as a vital, progressive city.

A number of self-seeking public-relations firms and organizations would have you believe that they're going to help revitalize Pittsburgh, magically transforming it into something that it cannot and will not become.

Organizing pseudo-cool happy hours to boost morale among perpetually lonely singles, and coordinating worthless "initiatives" to improve how non-natives perceive this retrogressive town are a waste of precious time, money, and resources.

PR campaigns to improve the Steel City's image are nothing new. Over the last 30 years, the following slogans tried to pull Pittsburgh out of the quicksand: Pittsburgh: Someplace Special, City of Champions, Dynamic Pittsburgh, America's Renaissance City, Pittsburgh Shines, Right Place Right Now, Stand Up and Tell 'Em You're from Pittsburgh, and Pittsburgh: The City with a Smile On Its Face.

That last one is the most absurd of all. Believe me, the only people smiling in this town are those who are in meaningful relationships, those who have enough discretionary income to live the way they choose to live, and those who are planning to move to another city. The rest of us are miserable.

The point is that Pittsburgh will never change. It's in the midst of financial ruin, the infrastructure is literally breaking apart, job opportunities for educated people are scarce, most knuckle-dragging natives are impervious to progress, cultural activities are dying out, and many single people here who refuse to move to another city will die alone.

If you don't believe any of this, read the articles that this website links to by pressing on the tombstone above. Then, the next time someone tries to tell you how wonderful our not-so-fair city is, you'll be armed with accurate information. Just make sure you send them the link to this site. Thanks for stopping by.