PISTRIX INVESTIGATIVE & BETTERMENT BUREAU OFFICIAL DOCUMENT
APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT
- For Print Out -
APPLICANT'S NAME:
APPLICANT'S ADDRESS:
APPLICANT'S BIRTHDATE (MM/DD/YYY):
APPLICANT'S GENDER (MALE ONLY):
APPLICANT'S FAVORATE TOOTHBRUSH COLOR:
CRIMES OF WHICH APPLICANT HAS BEEN CONVICTED:
CRIMES OF WHICH APPLICANT HAS BEEN ACCUSED, BUT NOT CONVICTED:
CRIMES OF WHICH APPLICANT COMMITTED, BUT WAS NEVER CHARGED:
PREVIOUS EMPLOYER:
REASON FOR BETRAYL OF PREVIOUS EMPLOYER:
APPLICANT'S WEAKNESSES:
NUMBER OF BOOKS WRITTEN BY APPLICANT:
DOES THE APPLICANT HAVE A TWIN OR OTHER LOOK-ALIKE THAT COULD BE USED TO FAKE HIS DEATH?:
Yes
No
IS APPLICANT'S HEART PURE?:
No
Yes
LOYALTY SUBSTANCIATION CODE:
TODAY'S DATE(MM/DD/YYY):
DAY OF THE WEEK:
TIME OF APPLICATION:
BRIBE AMOUNT GIVEN TO HIRING OFFICER:
HIRING OFFICER'S FAVORATE SANDWICH TOPPING:
By filing the above form in the requested manner, the applicant and hiring officer waive any legal claim to future misappropriation of the information provided by the Pistrix Investigative & Betterment Bureau and the Pistrix Bureau of Many Things. All information given will be stored in records with both the Pistrix Investigative & Betterment Bureau and the Pistrix Bureau of Many Things, and may be distributed to other offices within the government. All rights herein to privitize such information by the above noted individuals, will result in an Article 46-K hearing on the above mentioned individuals unlawful attempt to obsturct the free exchange of information as per the requirements of the National Document Dispersal Act, which makes any information given in such context, the right of public domain. The Pistrix Federal Government, The Pistrix Investigative & Betterment Bureau, and the Pistrix Bureau of Many Things, cannot be held liable for any death, dismemberment, injury, financial loss, or emotional damages that may be the direct reslut of any of the above institutions' distributing the information provided here to any weapon-toteing nutjob who happens to requestsuch information. Furthermore, any attempt to prosecute the Pistrix Federal Government, The Pistrix Investigative & Betterment Bureau, or the Pistrix Bureau of Many Things, will result in the immediate arrest of such persons that bring up the charge, and the execution and disbarment of the offender's attourney, as per the language of Article 46-R. Any persons wishing clemency on this action, or wishing an injuction to delay the execution of the subject's attourney, may file a Delay of Legal Juriceprudence Form, which can be obtained at the offices of either the Pistrix Investigative & Betterment Bureau or The Pistrix Bureau of Many Things.
