| Brainsmasher:A Love Story.....(1993) Rating:No Stars Cast:Andrew "Dice" Clay,Teri Hatcher,Yuji Okutumo Just for fun I am gonna do a Cold Fusion style review I was inspiried by his Nemesis review.. As I approached the confession stand I begged for forgiveness for a sin I had committed the priest who wasn't too happy to be doing this was it was 4:30 Am afterall we had a conversation about my new sin in watching another Albert Pyun flick. R.K: Father I beg you for forgiveness for I have sinned! Father Mackenzie:: What have you done my son? R.K: I have watched an Albert Pyun flick and I beg of you to let me drink some holy water to get the wretched aftertaste out of my mouth! Father Mackenzie:Who is Albert Pyun my son? Surely every movie can be saved by some hint of talent. R.K::Albert Pyun is the worst director of all time.he has helmed travestys such as "Adrenalin:Fear The Rush" and "Cyborg" these movies are all awful and yet being the critic I am I still watch them even though I know hwo it will turn out. And even though Neil at HK film net warned me alongside the Greywizard at Unknownmovies I still watched it even being warned! And I spent $ 2.18 on it. And I could have used that charity money to help the poor! Father Mackenzie: It seems you have been plauged by a kind of evil..but I'm curious my son. What is the movie about? R.K:It's about Andrew "Dice" Clay who becomes the bodyguard for Teri Hatcher to protect her from shaolin monks because she has some kind of precious flower. I really should have known better....I mean Andrew "Dice" Clay isn't funny and the dynamic duo of both him and Albert Pyun make for a very wretched movie.I am so angry I wish I could go back in time and wipe out the talent scout who made Andrew "Dice" Clay or better yet wipe out both of them like Arnold Schwarzenegger did. Father Mackenzie:Calm down my son,Bad thoughts lead to bad feelings and bad feelings lead to the dark side. Was there anything even remotely watchable. R.K:Hmm (2 hours later) Yeah Yuki Okutumo was cool but he is always cool. in the movies and there was a little unintentional amusement but that's about it. Father Mackenzie: Sounds like you had quite an expierience my son go and drink some of the holy water. R.K:Thanks Father see you on sunday. Ifeel so much more refreshed, Father Mackenzie:Hey! YOU HAVE CONTAMINATED THE HOLY WATER! R.K:Sorry Father, I couldn't help it I dipped my face in the bucket and accidently said "Albert Pyun" D.Albert Pyun |