Author�s Notes: I hate this part. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hatehatehatehatehatehatehate... ::deep breath:: ...hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate it!!! You getting the drift? Well, actually, I only hate one itty bit, tiny, miniscule part of it. �Cause, you see, I got stuck on the freakin� wording and couldn�t get it going again so I was on one part for weeks! AHHHHH!!!!

::calms down:: Otherwise, I kinda like it. I like the way Bowser�s itty scene worked. It was nifty. Nifty niftyness. ::smiles, teeth tinging in the sun:: Go. Now. Read on! ::muttering:: I spent enough time on one sentence, you better read it...

Warnings: The usual. Cussing and not even really that much gore. Be proud of me.

"WHAT?!"

The bellow vibrated through the hollow stone hallways and echoed in the large dungeons of the castle. The little turtle messenger cowered, lifting frightened eyes up to barely meet his master�s.

"The reports ju-just came in, Your H-highness."

Bowser stood up, cape flaring behind his impressive bulk. "Why wasn�t I informed of this earlier?!"

The herald flinched as Koopa towered over him. "We just go-got the reports ourselves, M-master..." His voice faded away as his King�s gaze hardened.

"That means you�re not doing your job. The mushrooms were killed a whole FIVE DAYS AGO! And you�ve just got around to finding this out?"

"But sir..."

"But NOTHING! You�ve failed. You deserve to die."

The little turtle-like creature back away, hands instinctively held up defensively. "No Master! I tried, it wasn�t my fault!"

Bowser glared hard, then suddenly flopped down on his throne, deflated. Waving one large, clawed hand absently towards the door, the other massaging a developing headache, he muttered. "Just go. Get out of my sight before I actually do kill you."

The courier bowed hurriedly in respect then scurried out of the room as fast as his little legs could carry him.

Koopa was left alone in his large throne room, staring moodily at his fingers as they tapped against the armrest of his giant chair.. "A murderer... In my kingdom... Killing my Princess�s people... Taking time away from my arch-enemies..." His fingers stilled then clutched into a fist, tight enough to draw blood. "How dare he?!"

Morning dawned and, as usual, the day ahead looked to be perfect. The perfectness extended to the way the birds chirped, the way the soft wind gently ruffling the perfectly green leaves in the trees, the way the light shinned perfectly through the windows of the little cafe in the Brother�s hotel, the way Captain Stephen�s uniform fit perfectly, nary a wrinkle in sight, eating his perfectly cook breakfast without getting on a crumb on his crisp jacket. Yes, perfection was everywhere, until one looked at the Mario Brothers.

They had agreed it was way too early on that perfect morning, wishing to sleep in another hour or so. Dark, sleep mussed hair adorned both heads, slumping deep into their chairs. Luigi had covered his eyes with his long bangs, thinking somewhere in the back of his sluggish mind that if he couldn�t see them, they couldn�t him and just let him sleep. Mario had actually started snoring halfway through breakfast, before Luigi had flung a limp, long-fingered hand over and smacked his brother in the shoulder, muttering a slurred, "If I can�t sleep, nobody can."

"Mrfph uff," was Mario�s equally slurred response.

Sol continued to eat his pancakes with an almost strangely dainty air, before carefully placing his utensils down and gazing solemnly at the two sitting across from him. "Another killing occur last night."

"Oh, that�s nice..." Luigi garbled, before trailing away and snapping ramrod straight in his chair. "What?!"

Mario was also completely awake. "Another murder? Why didn�t you tell us when we woke up?"

"I thought I�d let you eat something first, to gather energy for the day ahead, but when I saw you weren�t going too..."

"Where�d it happen this time?" Mario asked.

"In a rather large city just west of the Castle. You might have gone there before."

"You mean Junon?" Luigi queried, contributing to the conversation.

Stephen nodded, seeming pleased that they had heard of it. "Yes, exactly. I received the message just this morning. It seems that the murder actually took place a couple of days ago, but with how long it takes to travel between towns, it only just reached here."

"Damn..." Mario muttered his curse, then went on. "It seems that this won�t be just a one-time thing. And with us only being able to use horses to travel, we�ll never catch up with him. What I wouldn�t give for a car right now. Or a warp pipe."

Luigi perked up at that. "Yeah! Hey Cappy, is there a warp pipe around here?"

Sol flinched at the sudden nickname, but responded kindly enough. "No. Don�t you remember? That�s the reason you took the coach in the first place." The mushroom cop took a deep breath and launched into short lecture-like speech, voice talking up a tone that suggested he was use to giving orders. "We have to leave as soon as possible. There�s nothing left for us to find here. All the clues we could possible find have been found and the bodies have already been wrapped up and ready for a funeral. We�re not taking the coach this time, just by horseback and packing light for speed purposes. We'll stop by the Castle and make sure the Princess is informed, pick up supplies and be on our way, using a pipe to reach Junon. Make sure to be ready and by the stables in an hour." Saying that, Stephen stood up and strode out of the room without waiting for their replies.

They had been forced to leave behind most of their clothes and supplies, though Luigi had stuffed as much as possible in his backpack and saddle bags in a frenzy caused by the fear of leaving something important behind. Stephen had already checked out and paid for them, so their was no need to bother with that little detail. They had also taken time to change into clothes more comfortable for long-distance riding: sturdy boots, worn in jeans and shirts. Luigi even went as far as pulling back his hair again with the scrunchie he had bought at the market to keep it from blowing everywhere.

They had been given the fastest three horses in the town. Being Heroes of the Land certainly had it�s advantages sometimes and it seemed Stephen had no qualms about using that to his fullest advantage. There was no need to buy food, sleeping bags, and all other necessary supplies because no one would dare charge the captain after he told them it was for the Super Mario Brothers.

When everything was packed and settled, they each grabbed a horse and took off, adopting a fast trot that the pervious owners had assured them that they could keep up all day.

The trio only stopped once for a quick lunch and watering of the horses, and then pressed onward until dusk, stopping at a clearing near the patch that Stephen had assured them would be perfected for camping. As the other two started unlading horses and setting up camp, Luigi wondered off, wanting to search the nearby areas before it got completely dark.

The babbling stream that Luigi stopped at was small and peacefully looking, running out of the forest and slopping gently underneath the ground. A cool draft wafted up from the hole it ran into, a wonderful respite from the blazing sun they had ridden through all day. Even though, or maybe because of, the tender sound of the stream babbling lulled him to sleep and released the tension of the day, Luigi knew he couldn�t stay here too long and had to go back and help finish up-packing.

A slight movement in the trees, seeming to go against the natural peace of the forest, stopped him from totally leaving the area. Turning slowly back around, Luigi peered over the woods with shrewd eyes. That small warning was the only thing that stopped him from getting an arrow straight through the head.

A suddenly glint of metal caught the young man�s attention and he ducked just as the arrow went whizzing by, thunking soundly into the trunk of the giant oak behind him.

Luigi took one glance at the mass of people suddenly streaming from their hiding spots, and ran like Hell.

Mario poked lazily at the newly started fire with a stick, watching the flames leap and sparks fly in the twilight. He was bored, there was nothing to do, and he realized that Luigi had been gone for a while now. "Hey, Captain? Do you know where my brother went?"

Stephen looked up from where he was grooming the horses long enough to nodded off in the direction of the trees. "I think I saw him wander off in that direction."

Mario dipped his head in thanks and started wandering off in the pointed path. He didn�t get far before the very person he was searching for came crashing out of the woods, sprinting as if he was running for his life. Luigi, not looking where he was heading, a rather common mistake, smashed straight into his brother.

After a short period of confusion, limbs flailing and entangling, the two were able to separate themselves, Mario grabbing the shoulders of his frantic sibling. "Weegee! Calm down! What�s wrong?"

The young plumber breathed in deep, sharp, panting gasps, pointing wildly back in the direction he came from. "Bandits! Outlaws! Crooks, robbers and thieves! You name it, they�re there! They�re after me!"

"But there aren�t any bandits in the Mushroom Kingdom!" Their conversation had caught Sol�s attention and he dropped the brush he was using, slowly making his way over to the pair.

Luigi pulled away from his brother�s grasp, looking defiant. "Tell that to them!"

As if on cue, ten unusually large mushroom people slipped out of the half-concealing shadows of the trees, looking armed, nasty, and fully intent to cause some damage. It was not the large group that Mario was expecting from Luigi�s description, but it was big enough to cause some worry.

Luigi, surprisingly enough, seemed ecstatic. "See? I told ya there were bandits. But did you believe me? Noooo, never believe the young one, do they?" He continued to mumble to himself as he suddenly pivoted on a heel, slamming his elbow hard into the attacker that tried to sneak up on the arguing pair. As the man doubled over, Mario reared back a fist and slammed it into the mushroom�s jaw, sending him into unconsciousness and out for the count.

Luigi had already leapt into the small mob that had started in that little clearing in the forest, dodging, flipping, and twisting to escape any and all their assaults, laughing and throwing taunts all the while. Mario watched as his little brother twirled gracefully out of the way of an on-coming jab with a knife, long hair thrown out about his head, and used his own momentum to put more force behind the roundhouse kick aimed for the knife-wielder�s head. The older man then realized he was letting Luigi have all the fun, and joined into the fray.

Sol watched the two systematically beat the living crap out of the group, amazed at how well they worked together. One would attack an adversary, sending them into the path of a somehow well timed punch or kick, all the while watching each other�s backs. Taking one last impressed glance at the brothers, Stephen whirled about and ran off into the woods.

After a few more minutes, all ten of the mushrooms were down, groaning or just plain unconscious. Luigi stood, proudly surveying the mess with his hands on his hips. "Oh yeah, who kicks ass? Come on Mario, who kicks major ass?"

Mario rolled his eyes, but humored his cocky brother. "We kick major ass, Weegee."

The willowy man pumped a fist in the air. "We kick major, major ass! But Mario, why is it, when we�ve only just seen itty bitty mushrooms the whole, oh, years that we�ve lived here, that we�re now being smothered in a pile of huge, hulking, monster like mushrooms?"

Mario absently nudged a fallen man with the steel tip of his boot and shrugged. "Indigenous to this area?"

"That�s a lame answer! Can�t you think of a better where did Cappy go?"

Mario answered, not even phased by the very sudden topic change in mid-sentence. After all, he had lived with his brother all his life, and was use to his somewhat wandering attention span. "I think I saw him run off that way, don�t know why though."

"Well, let�s follow him! And, hey! The horses ran away!"

Mario glanced over to where their rides had been tethered. Sure enough, all three horses were gone, strips of leather still hanging from the tree branches and blowing gently in the faint breeze. "I guess they were scared off during the fight."

"But how are we gonna get to the castle?"

The sturdy plumber just shrugged again. "We�ll get to that when we get to it. Come on, let�s find Stephen." Mario then walked off into the forest after the wayward cop, Luigi bounding after him, still full of left-over adrenaline.

It had gotten dark sometime during the Brother little scuffle and it was only by pure luck and a lot of stumbling blindly through unknown woods that they found their copper goal. But what they found with him was not something they were expecting, something that was happening quite a bit nowadays.

One unforeseen find was the warp pipe Sol was busily examining. The other was the dead body of one of the mushroom gang that had attacked them laying at his feet.

When the Captain finally looked up to meet their astonished faces, he just shrugged indifferently and said, "It was either him of me."

Luigi furrowed his brow and clenched a fist tightly. "But did you have to kill him?"

Sol leaned against the un-natural metal sticking out of the dirt and crossed his arms across his muscular chest, looking at Luigi as if he was slow and speaking to him the same way. "He was going to kill me. Would you have rather I let him?"

"How�d you know he was going to?!"

"How do you know he wasn�t? He did have a knife."

Luigi sputtered, then pointed a shaking finger at the body, slowly staining the forest floor with it�s blood. A knife was stuck in it�s side at the end of a long gash that was making it�s way from the right shoulder all the way down to the left flank. "Obviously, you did too!"

Once again, Sol just shrugged. Mario laid a restraining hand on his brother�s shoulder, stopping him from leaping for the mushroom man�s throat, but gave the cop his own suspicious glance. "Where�d you find the pipe, Captain?"

Sol�s dark blue eyes flickered over to Mario�s for a quick second, before fixing back on the fuming Luigi. "I remembered I had heard of a pipe being here a long time ago, and went to check to see if it was still here."

"Why didn�t you tell us about this earlier?"

"I didn�t want to get your hopes up with false information. Apparently, it hasn�t been destroyed and still in working order. And if my sources are right, this can take us straight to or at least very close to the Castle. This can cut our travel time down by days."

"Okay... If you say so. First, let�s get our supplies."

Stephen nodded. "Of course." He pushed himself off the pipe and started to make his way back to their now wreaked camp, Mario following closely behind him.

Luigi was left standing in the small warp pipe clearing, with the body slowly cooling beside him. Taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down, he replaced a few stray hairs behind his ear with a sweep of his hand and marched purposely after them, making sure to never look at the glassy eyed corpse.

Just a few minutes later, all three were standing around the large pipe, staring into it�s murky depths and packs were slung over each shoulder. One by one, they vaulted into the dark hole, praying it went where they needed it to and not some place that they couldn�t get back from.

~People don�t kill each other in the Mushroom Kingdom. It. Just. Doesn�t. Happen! It happens in Brooklyn, it happens in New York, it happens in back-water towns where your neighbor is probably related to you in some way or another and insanity is bred into each generation but it doesn�t happen in this care-free, biggest threat is a giant turtle thing kidnapping a princess a few times a month and you travel a little ways stepping on strange things called *goombas* to save her, place and people are nice and kind and *loveable* and they DON�T KILL EACH OTHER!~

Luigi�s eyes snapped open. The blue sky shinned down on him, morning sun just barely risen from the horizon. He racked his brain, trying to figure out what his last memory was. A fight, a body- His mind shied away from that thought and went on to the next. Ah, a warp pipe! No wonder he was like this. All trips through pipes where different, some easy, some short, and some just plain weird. This trip must have been the last option.

He slowly got to his feet, wincing as he pulled a few kinks from his stiff muscles in the process. He dimly noticed that Mario and Cappy where also laying on the ground, still unconscious. All around him was a field, but what caught his attention was the tall tower spire tip he saw in the distance and he instantly knew it was the Mushroom Castle. So the pipe did go to where Cappy said it went. Sighing in resignation, he started up the tedious task of waking up both snoring men without being killed in the process.

Pisces: ::sits down on ground:: Wasn�t it super, fantastically good? Wasn�t it? ::crickets chirp:: ...oh...

Luigi: ::pats her shoulder:: S�okay Pisces. It wasn�t that bad.

Pisces: So you�re saying it was bad?!

Luigi: Er... N-no, �course not...

Pisces: You�re saying I�m not good enough?!

Mario: ::lounging on couch on other side of room:: Jeez, no need to yell, Pisces...

Pisces: ::stands up and shakes fist:: I�M NOT YELLING, DAMNIT!

Bowser: ::from other side of room, playing a video game, claws clicking against controller:: Yes, you are... No, no, go forward! Not backwards! Up the freakin� ramp! What are ya, a pansy? You can take �im! Stupid flying fox, get out of my way!!!

Pisces: ::creeps over curiously:: Whatcha playin� anyway?

Bowser: ::tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth:: Sonic the Hedgehog.

All: ::sweatdrop:: o.O

Mario: ::flips out:: Evil hedgehog spawn of Satan! ::attacks TV::

Pisces: NOOO!! Not my Dreamcast!