"hey boy, " mcquaid the man boy servant cried, "if youre not going to eat your breakfast then pass the plate over here... no need to waste food"
The boy hung his head in shame and went below deck to slowly cut himself to releive the guilt.
Ipny the young cabin boy had trained for several years under the apprenticeship of mcquaid. He dreamed someday of becoming a manboy servant to a famous yet slightly unknown dreaded pirate captain. He thought to himself, "if only someday i could be the manboy servant to a captain.."
Mcquaid taught the boy all he knew, which was limited to crude jokes, not crude jokes, and 11th century Russian poetry.
As the boy recited his newest poem... which when translated carried the name of "I would hit you in teh face and give you my sister"(translation was done personally by mcquaid)... the ship entered the port of st catherinesdale
The mighty ship the 4 barnacle 2 was secured and the men went to town for a scheduled 6-7 hours of covorting and ballywhoing.
The door swings open in the local pub as the pirate mcgaffery strolls in. He has put on his silver eyepatch, and walked over to the bar and ordered a water, on the rocks.
An old sea urchin came up to him. The town was filled with these men who were urchins but lived by the sea. The urchin said "Thats quite the eyepatch there"
The irish pirate slapped his face and demanded that he immediately kill himself for being so offensive to such a high ranking pirate. Mcgaffery had the highest position of all the pirates in ireland since he was the only one. THis means he gets to wear a silver eyepatch of esteem, given by the pirate ministry.
"but thats not real silver" the urchin pointed out.
"yes it is" macgaffery replied.
The pirate walked through the room and eyed a group of young troublemakers whispering in the corner. He overheard his name mentioned. He thought of killing them all then realized that he would first spy on them and then kill them. He sent his messanger who followed 7 steps behind him at all times to get mcquaid.
Mcquaid assigned the spying to his apprentice Ipny.
"Ipny, this is your chance to prove yourself. Dont spoil it by being an ass. Infiltrate thier conversation and then when they said something about macgaffery, yell over to us and let us know. Thats when the pub fight begins. Oh and by the by be sure to have your fighting hammer with you"
ipny saunters over to the men talking amongst themselves. His presence was felt immediately. The group stared at him in silence. Ipny stared back blankly.
The people of the bar continued making noise and talking and drinking and carrying on. Ipny stood before this group of young men. Finally one of the men who was no more than 19 years old stepped forward and said "hey mate, welcome to the conversation, were talking about parrot dodging and youre welcome to join in. Say arent you here wiht the pirate macgaffery?"
Ipny immediately spun around and yelled to mcquaid.."He said it!!"
14 minutes later the bar fight had ended. The pirates were winning quite easily and had killed all the young men who were un armed and now were unarmed. (pirate humour(note the english spelling of humor))
The pirate macgaffery high fived mcquaid who in turn gave a large pat on the back to ipny. The stepped around the dead woman hanging from the rafters and headed for teh door.
"its a shame those old women had to overcharge us for the drinks," macgaffery said as he turned to his message boy who was following behind him several feet. The message boy listened carefully and then ran off accross the room stopping in front of mcquaid.
The message boy says "captain wants to know if the silver eyepatch makes him look like a cannon chaser"
mcquaid looks slightly shocked and puts his hand over his mouth.
wa wa wa
tune in later for such great lines as
"This is the queen of sheba"
