Chicken McNugget's Turn Towards Evil
written, performed, and puppets built by Brian Matthews

My mechanized Vampire Chicken McNugget McDonald's Happy Meal toy-now turned puppet with moving mouth and retractable umbrella- being assaulted by his once, dear love, Ambrosia, a piece of clipart from the 1910's . (picture by K Lee)

Scene1.   The mediocre looking French Countryside-with Richard D. James Sunshine, and various clouds.   ChickenMcNugget is strolling about with little care in the world.

Narrator:  Once Upon a Time... There was a lil' Chicken McNugget who had little care in the world.

Nugget:  "I am a meek little Chicken McNugget with little care in the world and equally little career/life options.  But I am happy and full of bliss and an utter lack of hardship. [hums a Devo song]

Nar:   Suddenly! A bat swooped down from out of beneath a rather untimely dark cloud!

Nugget:  "ooooh a rather menacing looking aviary fowl!   I wonder if it is friendly?"

Bat:    "No"
[Bat gnaws into little Chicken Nugget's cranium excessively with its vampire fangs.]

Nar:  then the bat, now tasting the wondrous taste of blood, flies off. 

Bat:  "I fly off"

Nar:   "Little did little Chicken McNugget realize,  but he was bitten by a VAMPIRE BAT and was now transformed!"

Nugget:  " Ouuuu what a strange phenonemum.   I wonder if Bob Barker ever had this happen to him?  I should hope not.  I shan't dare to think what odious thoughts would protude from his imagination like the dark forboding ones that engulf my consciousness at this moment.   With so much self-loathing and a utter disrespect for life I must have skipped a meal....
Boy it sure is hot out here!"
[opens umbrella]
"I shan't be out in this intrepid weather any longer. Off  I go to see my lovely wife Ambrosia.   Oh sweet Ambrosia -how I love thee and your raisin muffins.  [says with a heathenous lust] 

(more to be transcribed.........)


[sun wiggles]

Nugget:   Oh heavens.  My skin is engulfed in flames