Murphy's Laws
The main thing Murphy's Law says
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
If you preceive that there are four possible ways for something to go worng, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
If everything seems to be going well, you've obviously overlooked something.
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Mother Nature is a BITCH.
The Murphy Philosophy
Smile.....Tomorrow will be worse.
Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws
Everything goes wrong all at once.
Murphy's Constant
Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
Murphy's Law of Research
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Murphy's Golden Rule
Whoever has the gold, makes the rules
Addition to Murphy's Laws
In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right...something is wrong.
Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so igenious.
Rule of Accuracy:When working towards a solution of a problem, it always helps if you know the anwser. Collary:Provided, of course, that you know there is a problem.
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer then you think.
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Every solution breeds new problems.
You will always find something in the last place you look.
No matter how long or how hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The other line always moves faster.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more then you thought.
If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up.
If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyways.
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly.
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it.
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work
In any heirarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there.
There's never a right time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over.
When in doubt, mumble. When is trouble, delegate.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening
In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
Penza's Law about Math Lessons
The porter will knock at the door at the most crucial part of the lesson.
Where patience fails, force prevails.
If you want something bad enough, chance are you won't get it.
If you think you're doing the right thing, chance are it will back-fire in your face.
When waiting for traffic, chance are that when once lane clears, the other is congested.
Just when you think things cannot get any worse, they will.
Remember the boomer-rang effect; Whatever you do will come back.
If you re-act to actions, you've acted on actions.
He who angers you controls you, there-fore, you have no control over your anger.
Anytime you put an item in a "safe place", it will never be seen again.
Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.
Your worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.
The fish are always biting...yesterday.
The cost of the hair do is directly related to the strength of the wind.
Great ideas are never remembered and dumb statemants are never forgotten.
When you see the light at the end of the tunnel, either the light is atrain or the tunnel will cave in.
Whatever you want, you can't have, what you can have, you don't want.
Whatever you want to do, is not possible, whatever is possible for you to do, you don't want to do it.
If you go to bed with an itchy ass, you wake up with smelly fingers.
You will never find any more loose change thenyou have already lost
