Dirty weekend with Elrond turned sour when I told him purple was not his color.
Day Five:
Have been marched against by last alliance of men and nancing elves. Is transparent attempt by Elrond to get back at me for comment about purple. I will not take it back! I told him purple made him look like an eggplant, and it does. Is no need for him to get so shirty about it.
Day Six:
Is not that being defeated by last alliance is so bad, is not even that being reduced to a disembodied eyeball is so bad, although Visine would be a comfort. But whose bright idea was it to slice onions in here?
-later-
Blast those orcs and their fondness for onion dip. Have taken their disco ball away. God, it's fun to be evil.
Day 3,000,005:
Am bored. Have been waiting for Middle-Earthlink guy to come and install DSL in Barad-Dur since second-age. Will use palantir as alternative to personal ads, as am lonely.
Day 3,000,007:
I spy with my big-huge-nasty-flaming eye...something resembling a novelty dashboard ornament. Witch King of Angmar tells me it's a hobbit. Is rather cute. On the smallish side, but I'm hardly one to talk appearances these days.
Day 3,000,009:
ARGH! That tiny bloke has MY RING!
later..
Have sent the nine to fetch ring back. If nine succeeds in sorting their elbows from asshats, that is.
Day 3,000,011:
Have met v. nice bloke over the palantir. An older gent, seems to have copied hairstyle from Galadriel, but no matter. He likes me for me. Finally someone to see past the eyeball. Will send him packet of glittery barrettes.
Day 3,000,013:
Tried to ask Saruman over for dinner, but lost nerve at last moment and said some idiotic thing about building an army instead. Is somewhat amusing watching him play violin for orcs and goblin men in attempt to spark romance, so will not clear up confusion just yet.
Day 3,000,016:
Wonder if Saruman becoming somewhat deaf? Told him I was hoping we could delineate boundaries of relationship, instead he defoliated Isengard.
Day 3,000,020:
Some bearded tart with pointy hat trying to horn in on my action. Hmmm. Ex-boyfriend?
Think Saruman may have put him in guest bedroom. Will have to ask S. to clarify.
