(Enter a BEVY OF ORCS):
ORCS:
Mordor!
It's the joint with the Big Door!
It's no day at the seashore!
So you'd better beware!
Orcs roar
Like the crowd at a Phish tour,
When the weather is piss poor,
And the stoners don't share!
ORC SOLOIST:
It ain't easy bein' orc.
"Tote that hobbit!"
"Kill that tree!"
Plus we look like Mickey Rourke
After a long peyote spree.
ORCS:
Better know what you're in for
In...Mor...dor!
The Big Finale: "Oh, My Lord...of the Rings!"
(Enter GANDALF and a HOBBIT GOSPEL CHOIR)
GANDALF:
If you're feelin' down
And your smile is saggin'
GOSPEL CHOIR:
Lord of the Rings!
GANDALF:
Just think about the tale
Of Frodo Baggins
GOSPEL CHOIR:
Lord of the Rings!
Oh, my Lord, Lord, Lord,
Lord of the Rings!
Lord of the Rings!
GOLLUM:
Even Gollum singses!
Lord of the Ringses!
