- Your email address/screen name has something to do with LOTR
- This particular email address/screen name is something along the lines of �Lady Greenleaf� or �Master Baggins�.
- You refer to any character as �My Aragorn� or �My Eowyn� etc.
- You name your pets after someone or something from LOTR.
- You forget what color your walls actually are because they have so much LOTR paraphernalia on them that you haven�t seen them since the Second Age.
- Your bedroom door is decorated to look like the Door of Moria.
- People must �Speak Friend� to enter
- Your birthday party has a Lord of the Rings theme, and no one is allowed in unless they have a proper costume on.
- For this party, you put up a sign at the bottom of your driveway that says, �No admittance except on party business�.
- You pose next to your life size standups so you can show the pictures to your friends, claiming to have met the cast members.
- You begin to refer to a few select items (or just as likely...one particular one) as �My Precioussss�
- You make a rule: You can live (at most) 3 weeks without food, 3 days without water, 3 hours without LOTR, and 3 minutes without oxygen.
- You insist on going to Wal Mart at midnight every time a version of LOTR becomes available on VHS and DVD because you want it the INSTANT it�s available. (You're even more obsessed if you get it on both VHS and DVD).
- You insist that everyone be kind to the trees in your yard because they may actually just be Ents gone tree-ish.
- You celebrate the birthdays of both the characters and the actors from LOTR.
- You invent your own holiday that is to be spent doing nothing that does not involve LOTR.
- You find that this day is not all that different from your normal day.
- You can remember exactly how many times you�ve seen each LOTR movie right off the top of your head.
- You refuse to ever in your life watch any movies that won the award in a category that LOTR was nominated.
- Majority of the signatures in your yearbook comment on how obsessed you are because it is the thing that everyone knows you best for.
- You insist that Haldir is not really dead�he just �went to live on the farm�.
- You will rent ANY movie involving a Lord of the Rings actor, no matter how stupid it may be. *Cough ICE STORM cough cough CROC HUNTER cough*
- You make a countdown to the next LOTR movie for your classroom involving a �fact of the day� each day.
- You can come up with these facts off the top of your head in half an hour. (Though there are still 118 days left)
- You insist that though a character may currently be in a relationship, they are secretly having an affair with you.
- You actually refer to one of the characters as your husband/wife/live-in lover to-be.
- You write fanfics in which two (or more) of the Middle-earth hotties battle over who gets to be with you.
- You insist that the ability to quote all three movies word for word is not an issue of mental health.
- On Halloween you and your friends dress up as hobbits and parade around your neighborhood singing the Hobbit Drinking song
- You have more LOTR action figures than you can count
- You actually PLAY with your action figures
- You film movies with them, insisting that some day Peter Jackson will see them and declare you a great filmmaker.
- Aside from actual LOTR merchandise, you spend most of your money on tape to hold up all of your posters/trading cards/pictures/etc.
- You devise multiple plans on how to marry the actor you most admire. Some of which may include but are not limited to:
~ Send a letter to the actor you most admire claiming to have kidnapped their biggest fan (although you are really referring to yourself). After they follow through with whatever request you as the kidnapper ask of them, inform them that you have released your prisoner. Surely, the actor would want to meet their biggest fan (still you) after all they have gone through!
~ You plan to slip a marriage certificate in while they are busy signing hundreds of autographs at once.
~ You plan to confuse them into marrying you. Just keep asking pointless questions and making pointless statements. Then, ask a series of �yes or no� questions that they will obviously answer yes to without having to think (ex: �do you have two eyes?� �Do you breath oxygen?� �If you started to fall, would you make an attempt to catch yourself?� �Have you ever been to New Zealand?�). Somewhere in this series of questions, insert; �Will you marry me?�
~ Learn to use telekinesis to transport them into your house.
~ Get them drunk.
~ Leap in front of their car. When they hit you, they will have to rush you to the hospital. They will feel so guilty that they will stay with you most of the time during your recovery. After spending so much time with you, they are bound to fall in love! (Okay, so maybe we've all been watching too many romantic comedies...)
- Whether or not reading is one of your favorite pastimes, you insist on owning every LOTR bookmark known to man.
- You have a framed 8 X 10 picture of Elijah Wood in your room.
- You have your parents write logic puzzles for you to solve in which you and your friends go touring Middle-earth (with certain �gentlemen escorts�).
- You declare a �Lord of the Rings actor movie day� in which you do nothing but watch movies involving actors from LOTR. (I repeat, no matter how stupid they may be)
- You swear that when you are older you will be rich so that you can hire someone to build you Meduseld for a Summer Home and a hobbit hole in which you will live in during the rest of the year.
- Whenever the name �Tolkien� comes up in your Mythology class, the teacher looks directly at you to see the giddy smile on your face.
- When asked to create a movie poster for the story of �Sigurd the Volsung� in Mythology class, yours ends up looking more like a Lord of the Rings reunion poster.
- You keep every ticket stub from every time you�ve seen LOTR in theaters.
- In your bedroom alone, you have 5 different LOTR calendars because they happen to have different pictures in them!
- You will deny until your dying day that Diamond of Long Cleeve ever existed.
- You�ve made an LOTR fan site or two�or�. Ten *cough cough*
- You can relate absolutely any word, phrase, place, thing, person, etc, to LOTR in some way, no matter how abstract.
- If you are caught day dreaming in class (most likely about LOTR), your teacher yells, �THERE�S A HOBBIT ON MY DESK!� to get your attention.
- You�ve driven some of your friends to insanity because you never� ever�. ever� ever... EVER stop talking about LOTR.
- You and your friends have made matching LOTR t-shirts.
- You buy and actually send LOTR valentines to people, signing them from the character they most admire.
- You cry when playing your LOTR video games because you killed a fellowship member! (Or Faramir!*gasp*)
- Even after seeing it several times, and knowing that he�s not really dead, you still cry when you see Aragorn go over the cliff.
- Watching Haldir die is still a psychologically damaging experience.
- You walk around your house frightening your relatives by saying, �Sm�agol... Why are you crying, Sm�agol?� and finishing the rest of the conversation with yourself. All of this is done, of course, in a Gollum voice.
- You have LOTR sound clips play when people sign on and off of your buddy list.
- You attempt to construct ents from a paper towel tube, Popsicle sticks, toothpicks, and Barbie hula skirts.
- You make friends with the people that work at Wal Mart so that you can buy the store displays from them when they are no longer using them. *snicker*
- You suggest that any teacher trying to threaten a troublesome student should shout, �YOU SHALL NOT PASS!�
- You buy a Barbie version of your dream car and make your Action Figures drive around it.
-You create some clever LOTR-related title for this vehicle. (Ex: �Elf Auto� or �Baggins Buggy�)
- People are terrified to insult LOTR around you because they know you�ll send out your �Warg Riders� on them.
- You make new lyrics for Christmas Carols involving LOTR themes.
- There is no longer any such thing as Vanilla Wafers. They are now known as �Lembas�.
- When it snows, you and your friends go out and pretend to be hobbits on Caradhras, while your mother pushes snow off the roof at you, and your father stands in the background chanting like Saruman.
- The secret diaries are a sacred document to you.
- You insist that the lyrics do NOT say, �There was a farmer who had a dog and Bingo was his name-o.� they are in fact, �There was a hobbit who had a ring and Frodo was his name-o.� Sing with me now! �F-R-O-D-O! F-R-O-D-O! F-R-O-D-O and Frodo was his name-o!�
- Whenever you walk through woods, you find yourself singing silly songs such as �Hey dol! Merry dol!� and other such nonsense.
- When watching LOTR, you have an uncontrollable urge to lean over to your friends and say, �God he�s hot!� whether or not the character you are specifying is on screen.
- Elvish is becoming like a second nature to you.
- You respond to seeing hobbit feet by saying, �Aaaaw!� instead of �Eeeew!�
- You have a mailing address for all the cast members.
- You have actually sent them fan mail.
- If when seeing LOTR in the theaters someone near you is talking, you tell them to "keep their forked tongue behind their teeth" Then after receiving quite an odd stare you translate and simply ask them to stop talking.
- You have a hit list of everyone that has referred to the elven race as �faeries�.
- You have developed a nervous twitch that occurs when people dare to tell you that they haven't seen LOTR yet.
- Your family refers to your room as �Middle-Earth�.
- It is now a habit to sing Pippin�s bath song whenever showering or bathing.
- You strongly believe that you should be able to receive foreign language credits in school for learning elvish.
- You make things to decorate your room with that you can�t find elsewhere such as forms of LOTR lamps and curtain ties and such.
- You still have the boxes of every action figure you own.
- You no longer have space in your garage because it is full of the boxes from these action figures.
- Your parents are considering enrolling you in a twelve-step program to cure you of your obsession.
- Your hairy feet no longer embarrass you; you proudly show them off as often as you can and say, �See? I belong in the Shire! I knew it!�
- You are considering plastic surgery to make your ears pointy.
- You swear that you will get the same tattoo that the actors of the fellowship have.
- When listening to the movie soundtracks, you can tell exactly what is happening at every moment.
- You have developed a sixth sense that will tell you where the nearest LOTR-related item is.
- The question: �What do you want for your birthday?� Has now become: �What don�t you have yet?�
- You save the receipts of anything you buy LOTR related�even if you don�t exactly know why.
- You have made a sign for your room that says �Hobbits Crossing".
- You can't say 'elephant' anymore. All that ever comes out of your mouth is 'oliphant'. ~Mormegil
- You can barely concentrate on "Mona Lisa Smile" because the theater you and your friend are in is right next to the one playing ROTK. ~RaggedyAnndy
- You seriously for the first time in your life think about sneaking into a movie so you can see ROTK. ~RaggedyAnndy
-When asked to make a movie poster for "To Kill A Mockingbird" you print out a picture of Orlando Bloom when he was younger and say it's Jem ~Kelis Bianchi
-When the One Ring *accidentally* slips out of your hand, you jump under the table to catch it, sweating profusely ~Kelis Bianchi
-You find yourself insulting your school principal in Elvish. ~Dimwit952
-The signature you sign EVERY email with is in Elvish. ~Dimwit 952
-Every time you see a flock of birds overhead you either shout �Crebain from Dunland!� and then duck down, or you observe �it�s moving fast, against the wind.� ~Ruby Tighfield
-You think that it would be cool to engrave "Azh nag krimpatul" (�one ring to bind them�) on wedding rings (even though that is not actually in the poem). ~Ruby Tighfield
-You can point out lines in the movies that are straight from the book...even if they're said by a different character (ie. Arwen quotes Bilbo�s poem about Aragorn from Gandalf�s letter, or Elrond quoting Gilraen when she said �I gave Hope to the Dunedain, I kept no hope for myself�). ~Ruby Tighfield
-You notice that the Elvish is translated wrong. ~Ruby Tighfield
-You are determined to think that invisible LotR characters are following you everywhere and even talk to them. ~Sarah Spencer
-You do your end-of-college project about Beren and Luthien. ~Miriel Thranduiliell
-You talk to your Pictures on the wall and they talk back. ~Elfperson
-You dress up and act as if you are in the movie (ending with you kissing your Legolas pictures ^_^) ~ ElfPerson
-Actually, everybody who tell you that "Tolkien and LotR sucks" as disappeared (but the bodies were all found in a huge garbage) ~Sinwen Sirnasin
-You try don't speak about LotR anymore to your friends and family. ~Sinwen Sirnasin
-They come to ask why you don't talk to them anymore. ~Sinwen Sirnasin
-You think that your teachers are Mordor spys (there are!) ~Sinwen Sirnasin
-When somebody pisses you off, you hiss at him and slink away. ~Sinwen Sirnasin
- Whenever you see a limo you say, Oh my god! That could be one of the cast members from LOTR in there! ..and it really could be! ~Ali
- You make up an alternate ending (or twenty) for the trilogy while you're supposed to be doing something less important like sleeping or homework. . . ~Anithriath Saralonde (AKA Tigerlily Took)
- You have at least one Middle-earth identity (including name, homeland, and possibly a link to the actual trilogy) and veiw yourself as a one of the Companions (Hey, it makes just as much sense to have 9 companions of the Ringbearer as to have 9 companions of the Ring!) ~Anithriath Saralonde (AKA Tigerlily Took)
- While waiting to see ROTK, you drew something that looked remarkably like Legolas. . . ~Anithriath Saralonde (AKA Tigerlily Took)
- Instead of saying "hey" or "wassup?" when you greet someone, you say "elen sila lumenn omentilma" or another elvish greeting. ~Anithriath Saralonde (AKA Tigerlily Took)
- Your friend enjoys shouting, "Look! Billy Boyd in a kilt!" and watching you fall for it every single time. ~Desiree
-You go broke by spending all your money on LOTR stuff. ~Lauretta Hansen
-You learned the poem "Three Rings...", some lines from both book and movies by heart. ~Emeline
-English is not your first language. ~Emeline
-You want to be just like Dom so you write trees on you hands. ~Superhobbit
-The only reason you play an instrument is so that you can play LotR music. ~Superhobbit
-Just about every dream you have is about LotR. ~Superhobbit
-When any of your relatives sees any of the LotR cast on a talk show they call you up and tell you. ~Superhobbit
-Whenever you go to the library you automaticly go to the Tolkein books and look at them even though you've read them all. ~Superhobbit
-If you have a friend named Sam you call tham Samwise and always say things to them like " I'm glad your with me Sam." ~Superhobbit
-You've made your own Fellowship cape and you wear it everywhere......to the grocery store, to church, to walk the dog. ~Superhobbit
-You use tape to make your ears pointy and keep them that way all the time.......even to bed. ~Superhobbit
-People have started calling you Hobbit Girl/Hobbit Guy more than your own name. ~Superhobbit
-When you see the Spy Kids 3D preview and you jump off the couch and scream "It's Elijah!!!" ~Superhobbit
-For your Creative Writing class you write a story about Dom and Billy. ~Superhobbit
-You want to name your first two kids Dom and Billy. ~Superhobbit
-You name your two dogs Dom and Billy. ~Superhobbit
-You hold conversations with theh LotR posters on your wall. ~Superhobbit
-You get really excited if someone's name is Dominic, Billy, Elijah, Sean, or Orlando and you want to be their best friend. ~Superhobbit
-You put a gold ring on a chain and finger it at all oppportunities whilst pulling Frodo faces. ~Natalie B
-If someone does something stupid you shout "Fool of a Took!" and recieve weird looks from surrounding strangers. ~Natalie B
-You see cast member look-a-likes EVERYWHERE! ~Natalie B
-You have printed out the Trilogy Breadbox parodies, Put them in a binder, decorated them with pictures, and can not only quote the movie, but the Breadboxes as well. ~April
-You count down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds to the next LOTR release (and annoy all your friends with it). ~Anithriath
-While listening to the soundtrack, you can say the dialouge and tell everyone what's happening. ~Desiree
-Your doormat says "speak friend and enter" ~Ciara Murphy
-Your parents are going crazy because you added "Oliphaunt", "Frodo", "Hobbit" and "Gondor" to the computer's spelling dictionary. ~Goldberry
-You are always getting in trouble for leaving LOTR stuff on the clipboard in Word, so when your parents go to "paste", instead of the resume' they had on it earlier, they get 10 paragraphs on the exclusion of Glorfindel. ~Goldberry
-You beg your parents to let you move to New Hampshire, just because it has "Shire" in it. ~Jennifer
-You have a replica of The One Ring on a small chain put on your Frodo action figure(s) and you tell everyone "That's how heavy a burden it was for poor Mr.Frodo" ~Pixie
-You see a name from LA on your caller ID and you say "OMG! What if it's one of the cast members of LOTR!" ~Pixie
-You dont exercise anymore...you just do Gollum impressions. ~Pixie
-You can play all 3 playstaion games in one day...and you count how many Orcs you had slain. ~Pixie
-You can't really watch TV interviews with the cast anymore because you know almost everything about them. You just watch them for the eye candy. ~Pixie
-You join every single Fanlisting that resembles LOTR stuff. ~Pixie
-You pause the movies at your favorite parts, or when you favorite character is looking particularly hot and take pictures of the screen. ~Heather
-Your father says things like "There is a character who looks like Gandalf in this book", just because it's the only way for you to read something other than LOTR or Tolkien (mine really did!) ~Anonymous
-At least one of your "friends" (who doesn't like LOTR that much) told you they had nightmares about LOTR because of you (three of them did). ~Anonymous
-Your friends call you "my dear hobbit" (they do) ~Anonymous
-They know you in the Virgin Megastore as the "Girl who comes to see TTT and the RotK on the big test screen." ~Anonymous
-Your teachers no longer ask if anybody knows anything about Tolkien because of you. ~Anonymous
-You have to do a homework about anything, and you choose "XXth century literatury movements" so you can choose a book of Tolkien (actually I'm doing a comparaison between LOTR, The Silmarillion and the old Celtic Mythology) ~Anonymous
-For your birthday you have a hobbit party. ~Anonymous
-You bite every person who tries to touch the ring you wear on your neck. ~Anonymous
-You say "my precioussss" about the things you want. ~Anonymous
-You scream "lost!!!my precious is loooost!!!! when you loose something. ~Anonymous
-You hear people in the street talking about LOTR, when they're not. ~Anonymous
-You were dressed like a hobbit for the "extravagance day" (it's a day where we can come dressed as we want in my school) ~Anonymous
-Your emails always end with one or two *cough cough* or three or for quotes from LOTR. ~Anonymous
-You get bored in class, so you write down the entire script of Lord of the Rings. ~Anonymous
-Your parents have to hire an Elvish translator because you insist on speaking nothing but Elvish. ~Anonymous
-You ran out of wall for your pictures, so you now have an LotR ceiling and LotR carpeting. ~Anonymous
-You traumatized the New Zealand exchange student by attacking her in the hallway and repeatedly squealing "Oh MY God, did you see (insert random actor/crew member/WETA guy here)?" ~Sarai
-You call your older cousin Merry, even though his name's totally different. ~Pippin Crazee
-You don't have a French jotter, it's full of Elvish phrases and words. ~Pippin Crazee
-When all of your friends get Chinese writing as Henna tattoos, you get the Elvish tattoo the LOTR cast members got. ~Pippin Crazee
-You put up a petition for Second Breakfast to be avalible at school. ~Pippin Crazee
-You persuaded 8 of your friends to turn up at school on Book & Film Day with you as the Fellowship Of The Ring. ~Pippin Crazee
-You have a round door on your bedroom. ~Pippin Crazee
-You tape a picture of your favorite LotR actor to your arm. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You attempt to learn elvish. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-All the websites you have bookmarked are LotR. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You start The Wisper Game with I wanna play tig. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You write a quote from LotR in everyone's yearbook. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-When someone calls Lij queer, you gasp and don't talk to them the rest of the day. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You name your hands Dom and Elijah and when your bored you make them talk. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You and your friend have a conversation and it ends with something related to LotR. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-Someone says that a dog talked to them and you exclaim that they are crazy and that dogs don't talk, but trees do. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You write trees on your hands so you can be like Dom. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You call people who act stupid, Stupid Fat Hobbits, unlessyou hate them, then you call them a smelly orc. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You see a plane and yell NAZGUL!!!!! ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You look into a puddle and hope to see something that was, is, or has not yet come to pass. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You read a list of how to know when your obsessed with LotR. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You say your sister is an idiot because she doesn't want to watch LotR a million, billion times. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You're mad at your mom because she wouldn't buy you RotK the day it came out. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-When you get mad you recite the one ring to rule them all rhyme. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-When someone asks you if your obsessed you say no, and give them all the reasons why your not obsessed which just happen to all be true. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You buy buggy things to send to Dom but you don't have his address so you send it to Lij and ask him to give it Dom. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You talk about the LOTR actors like they are your best friends. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-Your screensaver and Desktop are LotR. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-You listen to the actors say their names over and over again on Lordoftherings.net. ~Daisy Brandybuck
-On Halloween, you dress up as a hobbit and go to school, even though you have P.E. first period and know that you haven't enough time between periods to do all of the make-up, hair, and dressing requirements. ~LotReebok
-You have more links on your Internet Favorite's list devoted to LOTR than all of the other links combined. ~LotReebok
-You carry a Tolkien book and sketch pad around with you all day so that if there be any spare time whatsoever that you might otherwise waste, it will be put to good use. ~LotReebok
-You lay out a planning schedule so that you're sure that you'll get through all of the Tolkien LOTR books known to man (literally) in the space of the summer. ~LotReebok
-You write your notes in Dwarvish so that unfriendly eyes may not decipher your writings, whether they're important or not. ~LotReebok
-You plan a LOTR sleepover with your friends for months, in which you plan to make lembas and other Elvish, Hobbitish, and Dwarvish foods, play LOTR games, and watch all 3 LOTR movies. ~LotReebok
-Your friends stop talking to you because they can't stand all of the LOTR quotes that have become embedded in your regular speech patterns. ~LotReebok
-Your diary is without a lock, so you write in it in Dwarvish. ~LotReebok
-Your parents sit down with you to have a serious talk about your involvement in LOTR. ~LotReebok
-You have to beg your doctor to refer you to a psychologist because of your "Schizophrenic" problem. ~tricksey hobbit
-You make endless jokes about the "crack of doom" no matter how old it gets. ~tricksey hobbit
-You argue with your health teacher about the effects of pipeweed. ~tricksey hobbit
-You see an article in your local newspaper about "obsessed fans" of lotr and you read about them bragging about how obsessed they are and you get mad because 'they think having 235 lotr pics on their wall is alot!', 'they've seen the each movie 10 times!' 'they've read the books only twice!' and other *obvioulsy* um-obsessed things. ~Laurefin
-You bought the "picture-a-day" lotr calendar to make lotr wall paper. ~Laurefin
-You say "up up up the stairs we go untill we get to...(the following class)" everytime you go up the stairs at your school. ~Laurefin
-When people call you obsessed (or insane) you shout "AND PROUD OF IT!" or "obsession is only bad if you're obsessed w/ a bad thing". ~Laurefin
-You have all of Merry and Pippin's songs written on your notebook in Elvish runes. ~Laurefin
-you are upset when you realize one of Treebeard's lines in TTT extended edition is stolen from Tom Bombadil...and then you cry as you remember them. ~Laurefin
-Your friends have learned not to ask you about anything to do with other tolkien books (ex. the Silmarillion) because you will begin to explain the history of the Valar and Iluvatar, and the elves...etc. and then you will go on a rampage because they forgot Tom Bombadil and Beregond. ~Laurefin
-You scream everytime you see the Duracel commercial or Troy trailer... ~Laurefin
-Your family still can't hear well since RotK won the Oscars. ~Laurefin
-You are broke and can't buy the coveted Frodo action figure with light up Sting and sword slashing action. ~Laurefin
-Ever since you heard that Christopher Lee reads the books once a year you are doing the same. ~Laurefin
-Your latin teacher wants you to teach him/her elvish. ~Laurefin
-You vow never to speak to your father again after he crushes your collection of TT 7-UP cans. ~Raggedy Anndy
-You are ecstatic when you find that four cans survived. ~Raggedy Anndy
-The opening shot of a movie you are watching during school is of a rural farm town. When someone says "What is this, the Shire?", you begin to list all of the ways that is not like the Shire. ~Raggedy Anndy
