A/N: Somewhere down the road, I mention something called a ‘luthurnas’, marked with an asterisk (*).

Roughly translated from Common Speech it comes to ‘fluff people’ which is the closest I could get to ‘squirrel’..Work with me, people, work with me! (Note#2: I have no idea how to pronounce it. Does it matter? Probably not. Ahem…Looth-er-nah-ss. Loothernahss. O.o….Luth-oor-nus. Loothoornoos. Lithleboop. O.o.. Run. Run far, far away. Never EVER come back. *.* But read the story first.)

(Note#3: BAH! I’m so overwhelmed by the response this story has gotten. I’ve barely even formed the plot..But I have got an idea. I’m going to write the pre-Frodo-gets-the-Ring, skip over the next 17 years like they never actually happen (but bring them up in various chapter and hey- diddle), then, in my words, write the parts of the book that have some significance to the story, and what happens after. You know, when they’re in Rivendell and Frodo hasn’t waken up..After Elrond tells Pippin not to go, but lets him..Little random hey-diddles and shoo-dads everywhere. Maybe not that many..And with the Uruk-Hai and everything. And I still have to go over RoTK..So long..so confuzzling… ‘And his thought fled far away and his eyes saw no more.’ BAH! ~cries~ So sad..I didn’t touch the book for weeks. Too afraid he really died..And beware! The last chapter is going to have..~dundundun~ Pippin dieing. Dead. Yes. I’ve pondered his last words, and I think I’ve got some..But I need some suggestions. Suggestions are very much welcome, because, well, I don’t want Pippin’s last words to be ‘Frodo Lives!’..~smiles meekly and holds up a stool to protect her~ As I have it right now. But don’t worry, I have PLENTY of time to change it. ~waves arms around~ So much for prolonging the inevitable. (I’d like to note that I have absolutely NO IDEA what that means..And that it’s 2:50 in the morning. But I wrote some of this during regular hours. It’s just fun to be awake in the wee hours of the morning.) ON WITH THE STORY! BAH! READ!)

Note#4: HA! I remembered the last )! I bet you didn’t. ~pause~ Yes..um..read now. ~holds up a puppy~ Review for the puppy? ~pause~ Oh, dear lord. I’ve filled up nearly half a page with my rantings..NOW READ! Bah..

Wait! Just stay for ONE MORE SECOND! Theres another * that I just added, ‘cause Sam yells ‘Who be on the road?’..Yes, I know it should be ‘Who’s on the road?’. But oh well. NOW GO! ~Pyrotechnics~

~~

"Frodo! Samwise! Keep up, keep up!"

The two hobbits looked up, having been talking and paying no attention to Bilbo. Or the road, for that matter.

"We’re not going anywhere except forward, Uncle. Even if you do lose us, we’ll come back eventually!" Frodo called back enthusiastically.

"If you went any slower, I’d say you were going backwards!" Bilbo replied, turning to face forward again and slowing his pace a bit. He reached a hand into his pocket, checking behind his shoulder to make sure Frodo and Samwise were deep in conversation with each other.

~~

"Sing hey, for the bath at close of day.." Pippin sang softly to himself. Forgetting half the words, he stopped and began a different song. "Old fat spider spinning in a tree, Old fat spider can’t see me…Attercrop, Attercrop, Won’t you stop, Stop your spinning and look for me?"

"Stop singing!" growled his father, giving him a box on the ears. Pippin scowled, rubbing his ear and stopped.

"Old Tomnoddy, all big body, Old Tomnoddy can’t spy me.."

"Stop it!" cried his father, rounding to face him again and throwing a punch that sent Pippin flying to the ground. Blood began to blossom on the side of Pippin’s cheek, where it was cut on rock, and from the inside of his mouth as he accidentally bit his tongue. What Paladin did not know was that Pippin had not sung that last line.

~~

"Maybe Pip could live with you at Bag End, Mr. Frodo."

"No, Sam, I don’t think that-" Frodo began, but paused, looking around. "Where’s Bilbo gone to?" he pondered.

"I bet he’s walked ahead. Who knows how sluggish we’ve been? A snail’d probably outrun us. Although, I doubt snails can run, but that would probably be a-" here was Sam’s turn to pause. He cocked his head to one side, and looked as if listening.

"What is it?"

"Someone’s singing."

"Maybe it’s Bilbo."

"No, it doesn’t sound like Bilbo.."

For a moment there seemed to be silence. It was followed by a muffled yell. Samwise began to walk faster, then jog, looking up around a corner ahead. There was a shout, and a thump. "Hey!" Sam called. "Who be on the road?*"

After a moment, a figure walked around the corner. Alone, and looking none too happy.

~~

As Paladin rounded the corner, Frodo felt a growl rise deep in his throat. It was incredibly uncommon for hobbits to growl, so this was quite an amazing feat. The Thain glowered at the two boys as he walked by them. They both stopped, watching as he passed. Paladin checked over his shoulder, as if expecting someone to be following. His face fell a bit as he realized that it was all clear behind him – naught but a rustle in the bushes and a luthurnas* crawling up a tree.

"What are you doing out?" Frodo asked suspiciously, noting that the direction Paladin was walking would take him to his home, and not away from it – He must’ve been out.

"Is it a crime to be walking around?" Paladin sneered. "I’m out for a walk, nothing more than that."

"Where’ve you been, Mr. Thain?" Sam asked. "I see you’re walking to home, and not from it."

"That’s none of your business!"

~~

Pippin cowered behind the rock, listening to their conversation. He pressed his sleeve to his cheek, wincing as it stung. It would probably get all infected.

"Peregrin!" A voice whispered urgently.

He jumped in surprise, nearly throwing himself to the ground in fear that it was his father. But it did not sound like him. In fact, it sounded like the very last person he had expected to see there. A moment passed, and a pile of leaves to his left went scattering in the dull, heavy air. Seconds later, Bilbo Baggins stepped out from behind a tree.

"Bilbo!" Pippin cried in surprise. He lowered his voice quickly, fearing he had been overheard. "Bilbo, what in the name of the Shire..?"

~~

"I see Peregrin is not with you." Paladin remarked snidely. He also noted that Bilbo was not with them, either.

"What’s it to you?" Frodo said defensively. "He didn’t wish to come with us."

~~

"Paladin?" Bilbo whispered softly, repeating it several times to himself. Hobbit-children sometimes earned themselves a good smacking when they did something wrong, but like this? And so often? "How long has this been happening, Pippin?"

Pippin wiped his eyes, consciously adjusting his hair so that it covered the cut side of his face. "Ever since I was seven," he answered. "When I found out I was to inherit the title of the Thain when my father died."

Bilbo sat for a moment, thinking. "He hadn’t told you before that? You should’ve known when you were old enough to speak! Why didn’t he tell you?"

"I, I don’t think he wanted me to know." Pippin admitted.

~~

A/N: Ah! Shortness. But don’t worry. Bilbo to the rescue! ~pause~ Dundundun..Or not? I have a plot! ~gasp~ An ACTUAL plot (that involves Pippin-bashing! Yay! ~cough~)!