10:
A Failed Plan
Merry
stood in front of an ale keg, attempting to hide the pair of small feet that
jutted out from beneath it. He hissed to his companion: “Hurry up!”
“Well,
you try doing it,” Pippin’s voice hissed back from beneath the keg. A moment
later he slid out. His shirt was drenched with ale and had been since he had
chiselled a hole in the base of the first keg. They now only had two to go, at
least in this area of the field.
“I
already told you that I can’t!” said Merry. “I wouldn’t be able to fit beneath
the kegs.”
“Well,
it’s not my fault that you’re so fat,” Pippin shot back.
“You
had better take that back, Peregrin Took.”
“Or
else you’ll do what? You need me to carry out your stupid idea. My idea was
always so much better, and we have yet to break any of the chairs.”
“We’ll
get to that next!” Merry snapped, as he practically shoved his cousin beneath
the next ale keg.
Less
than a moment later, a voice called to him, which Merry instantly recognised as
Pearl’s. He turned to face his cousin and saw Pimpernel was also with her, and
they were both carrying bags. “Merry! Have you seen Frodo anywhere?”
“Not
yet,” Merry answered, mentally begging Pippin to keep quiet. Pearl and
Pimpernel would be sure to tattle on them if they discovered the plan. “Why?”
“We
have presents to give him,” Pimpernel replied, holding up the bag she was
carrying.
“But
it’s his birthday, not yours.”
“It
is a very special birthday, though, so we thought he should at least get
something. We already gave Bilbo his.”
“Well,
I have no idea where Frodo is, sorry.”
“Not
to worry, have fun.” Pearl and Pimpernel started to walk away, but Pearl
stopped after only a few paces and turned back. “Where is Pippin? Was he not
with you?”
“He
was…” Merry shuffled to cover Pippin’s protruding feet from Pearl’s new view.
“But…he…uh…he went somewhere with Pervinca. And I do not know where.”
“All
right then, Merry. Thank you.”
With
his two cousins finally gone, Merry let out a sigh of relief and leant against
the keg. “That was too close, wasn’t it, Pip?” There was no reply from the
young Took, so Merry prodded one of the feet. “Come on, Pippin. You can come
out now if you’re done. They have gone, I promise.”
There
was still no answer from Pippin, though Merry thought he heard a muffled
giggle. He knelt down and peered under the barrel. The shadow covered much of
Pippin’s face, but Merry could still see that ale was trickling from the keg
onto his cousin’s face. Merry paled, grabbed Pippin around the ankles and
yanked him out.
“Pippin!
Speak to me!” Merry begged. He was terrified that Pippin had drowned in the ale
that he had released.
“Oh,
hullo, Merry,” Pippin slurred in reply. His eyes did not seem to focus properly
and he was swaying slightly.
“Pippin,
how much of that ale did you drink?”
“Lots…none
at all…” Pippin giggled stupidly as he quoted his favourite story of Bilbo’s,
when he had been captured by trolls.
“Can
you stand?” Merry asked, anxiously. He knew he was responsible for his young
cousin, and if his aunt saw her son in his current state, he would be in deep
trouble.
Pippin
did not even try to stand, much to Merry’s annoyance. He had found his dragon
toy again, and now it was even more exciting. Pippin looked at it as if he was
seeing it for the first time all over again.
“Peregrin
Took, on your feet this minute!” Merry cried in his best grown-up voice.
To Merry’s
distress, Pippin just laughed. “You sounded just like Uncle Sarry then. Can you
impers…imperson…copy anyone else?”
Merry
did not know what he should do. He could not leave Pippin alone – he was sure
to do something stupid. But Merry also could not look after his cousin by
himself. He needed someone to help him, but someone that would not turn them in
for the prank that had caused all the trouble.
Just
at that moment – as if the Valar had answered Merry’s prayers – Pervinca walked
by quickly. Merry hissed her name, and she turned. Her eyes were red and she
looked like she had been crying, but Merry had no time to ask her what was
wrong.
“Pervinca,
I need your help!” he pleaded. There was a tone in his voice that Pervinca
could not refuse.
“What
has happened, Meriadoc?” she asked, with a sigh. She knew that nothing that he
had to say was bound to be good. But at least Merry’s problem would take her
mind off the hurricane of thoughts that had been plaguing her since Sam’s kiss.
“It’s
a bit of a long story I’m afraid, and before I even start, we need to get
Pippin away from the ale kegs…”
“Pippin?
Ale kegs? Merry!” Pervinca pushed past her cousin to where Pippin was still
sitting, playing with his toy and smiling stupidly. “Peregrin!”
“Pervinca!
How lovely of you to join us,” Pippin replied.
“Merry,
what happened?” Pervinca demanded, and there was a tone in her voice
that Merry could not refuse.
“Well…uh…”
Merry stammered. He had no time to think of a good lie, so the truth would have
to do. “Pip was making holes in the bottom of the ale kegs…”
“That
stupid prank that you came up with? Why was Pippin doing the
hole-making?”
“I
could not fit beneath the kegs! Pippin was small enough to, and he was doing a
wonderfully good job, until…”
“Let
me guess. He drank the ale that came out of the hole?”
“Your
guess is as good as mine,” Merry replied. “It would not surprise me. He managed
to spill ale on him at every other keg.”
“Have
you seen Sam yet, Pervinca?” Pippin asked.
“Peregrin,
be quiet,” Pervinca commanded, but her voice wavered. Merry wondered what
Pippin was talking about and why Pervinca had blushed so much. But he had no
time to ask, for Pervinca had pulled Pippin to his feet, something which Merry
had not thought of in his panic. “Well, what are you waiting for, Meriadoc?”
“Excuse
me?”
Pervinca
sighed in frustration. “You did say that we need to get my brother away
from these ale kegs?”
“Oh,
yes, yes I did.”
“Then
why don’t you help me do it?”
Merry
knew that he deserved Pervinca’s anger, but he had never seen her in a mood
like this. He decided it would be to his advantage to hold his tongue and
simply help his cousin. He looped Pippin’s right arm around his shoulders. He
wrapped his own left arm behind Pippin’s back. Pervinca did the same thing on
Pippin’s other side.
With
absolutely no help from Peregrin, Merry and Pervinca walked the intoxicated
young hobbit to a secluded corner of the field. A young couple fled from the
corner when they saw the poisonous look on Pervinca’s face.
“Pathetic,
aren’t they?” Merry joked. Pervinca just frowned at him. She was in no mood for
jokes.
Pippin
let out a gurgling moan. Both of his companions looked at him in concern. His
face had turned a rather interesting shade of green. Merry and Pervinca’s eyes
widened in horror.
“Oh,
no,” was all Merry managed to say before Pippin brought up his breakfast,
second breakfast, elevenses and what lunch he and Merry had eaten while
carrying out their pranks.
“He
didn’t get any on his clothes, did he?” Pervinca asked, frantically.
Merry
grabbed Pippin before he fell face first into the vile puddle in front of him.
A quick check revealed that Pippin had somehow managed to avoid vomiting on
himself, aside from the small trickle at the side of his mouth. Merry pulled
out a pocket-handkerchief and wiped his cousins mouth. “He’s clean,” he told
Pervinca.
“Well,
that was lucky.” Together, they dragged Pippin away from the mess he had made.
Pippin
moaned again. “I feel awful.”
“You
don’t look too good either, Pip,” Merry replied. “You’re far too young for
ale!”
“It
tastes disgusting! Why does everyone like drinking it?”
“I
suppose it’s something you start liking when you’re older, like pipeweed and
lasses.” Merry gave Pervinca a lop-sided grin. “At least he’s awake now.”
“You
don’t feel like you’re going to be sick again, do you?” Pervinca asked,
ignoring Merry.
“I
don’t think so,” Pippin said, though he still looked rather green. “I am
thirsty though.”
“Merry,
get him a drink of water!”
Merry
nodded and quickly scampered off to find Pippin some water before Pervinca
murdered him. He had never seen her so angry. Meanwhile, Pervinca sat next to
Pippin. He seemed less stupid now that he had gotten rid of most of the ale
from his body. He groaned and rested his head on her shoulder.
“I
am never going to drink ale again!” he declared.
“I
cannot wait to see how you feel in the morning. From what Pearl tells me, that
is the worst part of all.” Pervinca remembered her father’s message. “Oh, and
Father said that we may spend the night at Bag-End.”
“Really?
Well, that, at least, is good news. Have you spoken to Sam yet?” Pippin sat up.
“Did I already ask you that?”
“Yes,
you did. But Merry was here. You haven’t told him about Sam and I, have you?”
“Of
course I haven’t! I promised that I wouldn’t. You know I never break my
promises.”
Pippin
was not lying. He may have been a brat, who could cause more trouble than five
lads twice his age, and he had an uncanny ability to get out of that trouble,
but he always held true to his word.
“I
spoke to Sam, yes. We danced. And he kissed me. Something strange happened; I
think I had a vision or something…” Pervinca stopped and smiled. She should have
realised Pippin was no longer listening when she said that Sam had kissed her
and he did not respond. Pervinca kissed her brother’s head, and let him sleep
against her shoulder.