| Lenny Kravitz - Baptism (2004, about 40 min. which seem like 70) Workmanlike. That�s the word to describe this CD. But let me tell you just one thing right away: it's a good album. It's *not* electronic, thus doesn't break any new ground musically. Again it is well performed and produced by Kravitz alone with the usual flavoring by Henry Hirsch and Craig Ross. But I guess you already know what counts for an ejoyable Lenster-diski: fat drums, odd stereo panning and George Martin's 60es mixing desk sound. Uncomfortable feelings induce the listener during the opening moog-loop of "Minister of Rock'n'Roll", but that�s the only 90�es flingy about the disc. The song itself is idiotic enough to write it off, but then there comes the army of Lenny's at his most uninspiring, bashing away on everything: guitars, pianos and what not. Notable also for one of Lenny�s most brutal vocal-chord acrobatics. The second track is so dumb that it takes your breath away: "I don't wanna be a star" features an equally throwaway melody and a head-scratchingly uninteresting instrumentation. It just takes off during an enigmatic bridge that could pass as a musical anomalism: without a warning, Lenny shifts the ditty a semitone lower! "Lady" is finally track that is more like "it". The dry production is complemented with the strangely simplistic drumming and guitarring by Craig Ross, resulting in a just a little bit more jovial ditty, that is easily forgotten but quite nice while it's on. Now you can skip the next track "Calling all angels" which stinks suspiciously like "I swear" by dunno-who. Backstreet Boys? Just sing "...by the moon and the stars and the sun" during the refrain and you'll see what I mean. At least the arrangement is thankfully sparse: just the piano, bass and drums from "Imagine" plus just a slice strings. Something tells me that this will be a single. "California" is a driving sunny little song, totally unexpected from the grim 42-year-old Lenster, as it actually offers a little melody. For the first time in 15 years! So what's that all about? An outtake from Vanessa's album? Who knows. I just hope the next album will be all like this: short, jolly melodic tracks... One of the few things that hit land during Lenny's mercifully short hiatus, was a portfolio-book which among other things featured Lenny's dick. There was also a short interview in which he stated that the next thing will be to find his "funk", because "everybody has his own funk". Now in 2004 we have the opportunity to hear Lenny's funk in all its splendor in the form of "Sistamamalover". A funk-monster so stagnant and lifeless that it couldn't even pass as a groove with that dumbass guitar-lick and one-note never-ending refrain. Of course you already know "Where are we running" from the heavy rotation on music-tv. That's where you come to pity the diva-like lifestyle that Kravitz allegedly sports since more than 10 years now. Just in case you wonder: after repeated listening the track remains just as stupid and bland, but strangely stamps itself into the brain. Yes, it is better than "Dig in", but that may be just because of the drumming. Which is again by Craig Ross(!). I am confused! Why does Lenny's guitarist play drums? To achieve a diff'rent sound?... The title track "Baptized" is finally the point where things start to get better. I can't tell you what happened, but the production has become warmer now, actually giving you the feeling that you're listening to a good old Lenny Kravitz record. I just hope nobody recognizes how Lenny stole little bits and pieces from the Bangles' "Eternal Flame"... Stinker alert!! "Flash"! Yet another mediocre retro-track sporting a rarely idiotic drumming style. Let's forget about that. Let's have a listen to a real melody. That's right! "What did I do with my life" features a real melody! And the same production as "Baptized". I can't tell you if that makes up for the nauseating lyric that never really goes beyond the title. And there's a sax solo thrown in for no reason. Well, and forget I told you that the 2nd half is much better. There's nothing that could excuse the downer "Storm". Something tells me that Lenny has lost the groove that he perfectioned in "5". Not even Jay-Z of all people can save it. Why? Because Jay-Z is allowed just to do a much too long dumb rap. It just don't sound good. As everybody knows, Jay-Z's mastery lies in weird rhythms, but they're not here! Here's just a big-big bass-drum and little else. Although the next track is yet another "Imagine"-rip-off, it neatly completes retro-ballad trilogy that started with the title track. Uninspired as ever, at least it manages to scream "I am Lenny Kravitz" all over the place. Who knows, maybe there's a lot of people around who need such tracks. Blimey! this cd has a 13th track! That's a bonus for Lenny Kravitz, you know. Although I don't like it at all, it's one of these tracks Tracy Chapman-fans would die for: it's just an acoustic guitar with Lenny's strained falsetto-voice. It's his "Destiny". My god, this album is over. But you know what, I like it more and more with each listening. Which urges the conclusion: who the hell am I to rant about a Lenny Kravitz record? I should be happy that he does anything at all! And what gives?... I mean, when Lenny tasted electronica in "5" most hardcore-fans were pissed off or scared, but new fans were found. Am I the only one who believes that "Black Velveteen" was early perfection in its form? so now "Baptism" is the opportunity to introduce the newfound "Believe in me" net-shirt lovers to good old retro-Lenny... Ah forget it! Go and buy "Vanessa Paradis" for god's sake! That's the best Lenny Kravitz album *ever*. And I'm, not joking! Ch-ch-check it out to see how good Lenny Kravitz once used to be. Go home! |