| On a hot muggy evening, playing without a care The stinky smell of my poop drops, rising up through the air Up ahead on the carpet, I saw a new rubber mat She tried to trick me, but she won't win Cause I won't pee on that As she sat on the sofa I thought I could be real mean I had to find a new piddle sopt The mats just too easy to keep clean Well when I peed on the carpet, she came quick my way The voice was getting louder now Thought I heard her say "You peed on the carpet again dammit Cartman I put a mat in the place" She said with such disgrace "That mat was there for you to pee on Mr. Cartman Any other time, the spot would be just fine" My mind is definately twisted, I like to watch her bend You know I remember that time she washed my hind end Now I prance in the living room, sweet - you bet She can't even remember, well I just won't forget So when she yelled at me "Cartman- You've made me lose my mind" I said "You shouldn't have put that mat there- It's just a waste of time" I filed all the crimes you have done, not so far away I'll make you pay when the time is right Even If I hear you say "You peed on the carpet again dammit Cartman I put a mat in the place" She said with such disgrace "That mat is there for you to pee on Mr. Cartman Any other time, that spot would be just fine" Hot is what she is feeling Maybe she should sit on ice And she said "you know Mr. Cartman, it wouldn't hurt to be nice" Well I am the master human I'm the one in control And if you try to outwit me Your head will be sure to roll Next thing I remember I was running for my cage I sure know she wouldn't cut me slack It was evident by her rage "Good night" said the human "And next time you decide to pee- hit the liter box or the mat or locked in your cage you will be!" |
| To the tune of the Eagles "Hotel California" |